StudyLikeUhura

“they’re burning all the witches” 

“What do you think?” God asked as we passed a nineteen-way taking place in a pool of champagne. Little cherubs flitted overhead armed with mops and cleaning supplies, thankfully. “Lust is our most popular sin.” I eyed the supermodel-like figures of a couple passing nearby, and could easily see why. “You can look however you want. Hell, you can be whatever gender you want. No fetish is too taboo, and no desire can be denied here.”

It was quite tempting, but I wasn’t ready to make a permanent decision here. “Let’s see the others,” I told God.

We carried on to Greed. We passed rows and rows of mansions, each more opulent than the next. Some of them were so large that they would have had enough bed rooms to fit my entire hometown. And so many different styles: one second, we were in a beautiful French vineyard in front of a gorgeous chateau with the Alps in the background. The next second, a warm tropical beach with a modern mansion atop breathtaking cliffs. After that, a ski chalet in Colorado with a roaring fire in a hearth large enough to fit an ox. Each one had various Italian sports cars and Rolls Royces parked in front, with the occasional smattering of boats, helicopters, etc.

“Any material desire you ever wanted,” God explained. “Your own world, where you can have everything. You want the Hope Diamond? You can fly to Washington DC in your own solid gold helicopter and buy it from the Smithsonian. Hell, you can just buy the Smithsonian.”

Also tempting, but I decided to keep looking.

Gluttony was next up. Tables and tables of the very finest foods: beautiful steaks cooked medium rare; butter-poached lobster tail; fresh oysters on a half shell; exotic wines in dusty bottles that had been hiding in the cellars of the world’s finest restaurants. Everyone had a glass of champagne in hand and simply lounged on couches and chairs near the tables, eating endlessly. As soon as the inhabitants took a bite, the food just instantly came back. My mouth watered even watching them.

“In every other House, the food is practically sawdust compared to Gluttony,” God explained. “You haven’t truly experienced heaven until you’ve been to Gluttony.”

I shook my head, and we kept moving.

Sloth was as you’d expect. An endless sea of the softest mattresses, stacked with cushions and pillows that made the story of the princess and the pea seem minimalist. Little angels visited each resident, giving them massages that made them all melt into their blankets.

Wrath was… well, a lot like what I’d expect Hell to be like. Fire, brimstone, whips, torture.. you know, the works. Except here, you weren’t the one being tortured. Every enemy you’d ever made in your real life was now under your thumb. “Lots of people choose their fathers,” God explained. “Lots of grudges against parents in general, you know. But you’re not limited to that. Someone beat you out for a big promotion back on Earth? Take your pound of flesh here.”

Then we arrived at Envy. It looked… well, a lot like home.

“Go on in,” God said, gesturing toward the door. I turned the knob and walked in… and found Emily waiting inside. She ran forward, wrapped her arms around my neck, and planted a kiss right on my lips. “Welcome home, honey.”

I looked back toward God. “Oh, don’t be coy,” he said. “You have no secrets from me. We all know that you were in love with your best friend’s wife.” She didn’t seem to hear him at all; she went back into the hall. “We all know that you just settled for your own wife while secretly pining after her. Well, this is your chance to live happily ever after.”

I peered into the kitchen. Emily was baking something, wearing nothing but an apron. Her curly black hair fell softly over her shoulder as she whisked ingredients. She turned back, noticed I was observing her, and an enthusiastic smile spread across her face.

“It’s what you’ve always wanted, isn’t it?” God whispered in my ear.

I wanted to take it. God damn did I want to take it. But I shook my head.

God seemed puzzled. “You need to make a decision,” he told me.

“I haven’t seen Pride yet.”

He scoffed. “No one ever wants Pride, trust me.”

“Well, I want to see it.”

_________________________

Pride was boring. Just a row of workbenches in a bare white room.

“I don’t get it,” I told God.

“Yeah, no one does,” he answered. “That’s why no one ever chooses it. Doesn’t cavorting in Lust sound better than sitting here building little trinkets for the rest of eternity? Wouldn’t you rather gorge yourself in Gluttony? Or spend time with Emily in Envy?”

I considered the options again. “I pick Pride,” I finally told him.

He narrowed his eyes. “What? Look at it!” He gestured around the room again. There wasn’t much to look at. “Why would you choose this for the rest of time?”

“Because you don’t want me to pick it,” I told him. If he was really God, he’d know what a contrarian I can be. And I knew he was hiding something, trying to pretend like Pride didn’t exist. There was something special about it.

ALRIGHT. LISTEN UP.

Utilities went off without a hitch. So I call my internet company, I don’t wanna be a snitch so let’s just use a made up company name. Like, how about… Verizon? So I call Verizon and let them know that I will be move. I’ve been with them for about three years now, and previously I was on a contract with them, but this past year I have been on a month to month.

So I start speaking with a representative, and he tells me that the speed that my current plan has (75 mbps) is no longer supported by Verizon. They now only have 100 mbps and up. He tells me that I’ll have to upgrade to a different plan and that I’ll have to pay a termination fee to cancel my contract with them.

I’m like um…??? I don’t have a contract with you? I used to have a contract with you, but then I called to renew it and you put me on a month to month. And the guy is like “Well maybe that’s what he told you he did, but he actually put you on a contract”. And I’m like: “But I didn’t sign any contracts, the first contract I did with you guys I signed” and he’s like: “A verbal confirmation over the phone is enough”. And that’s the first point where I’m like, either this guy is new and has no idea what he’s talking about, or something is not right.

So I tell him that I’d be happy to stay on the contract with them. And he says that I can’t, because the place we’re moving only has the 75 mbps and up. And I’m like, “Well how is that my fault? You’re the ones who aren’t supporting my contract anymore. Can’t you just continue my contract and just update the speed?” And he’s trying to tell me that there is no way he can possibly do that. 

And so I ask him for the price breakdown and it’s the monthly price, plus the $90 termination fee, plus a $99 installation fee when the tech comes to set up the router in my apartment. And I’m like “I’m not paying an extra $189 to you guys for essentially the same service because you’re the ones screwing me out of my contract.” And he goes to talk to a supervisor, and they say the same thing. And he talks to another supervisor, and they say they can’t help. So finally I ask to speak to a supervisor.

I explain the whole story to the guy. And he’s like “The system over here won’t let me override this in your contract”. Listen up. Any time a representative that you’re talking to says this to you, ask to speak to someone else. This is complete and utter bullshit. I worked in IT for four years, and let me tell you, if there wasn’t a way to override every single system we used, then we would’ve been in serious shit. Companies will try to tell you that the system won’t let them override what you need done, and the truth is one of two things:

1. The person you’re speaking with doesn’t have the authority to override the system. In other words, they are useless to you. This is not their fault, politely ask them to transfer you to someone who can help.

2. They are deliberately lying to try and ply you for more money. In other words, they are useless to you. This is not their fault, this is what they’re trained to do. Politely ask them to transfer you to someone who can help.

So I was transferred to a different department. And I explained the whole story to yet another representative. And he immediately said: “If you move to a place where the services in your contract don’t exist, then your contract is null and void”. This, my friends, is what I vaguely remembered reading in my original contract with Verizon. So I said: “So you won’t charge me the termination fee?” And he said “Of course not, we’re not allowed to”.

And then he went on to waive half of the installation fee for me for all of my troubles. I was on the phone with this stupid fucking company for an entire hour, but in the end I saved $130. $130! After finally finding the right person to speak to.

1. there is no shame in asking for help (academic, emotional, or mental) 

2. there is no shame in going to tutoring 

3. there is no shame in getting Bs, Cs, Ds, or Fs 

4. there is no shame in not knowing what you want to study 

5. there is no shame in having a job 

6. there is no shame in struggling in a so-called “easy course” 

7. there is no shame in withdrawing from a course you don’t feel comfortable in 

8. there is no shame in changing your major 

9. there is no shame in not taking a full load of classes in a semester 

1. Use a study planner Using a planner helps really a lot in scheduling your review and reminding you of what you have to finish.

So what I do is I plot in the monthly overview and weekly overview quizzes, exams, reports and deadlines. Then I list down the topics I have to review and distribute or divide them over the days or weeks I have before the quiz, exam, report or deadline.

In my weekly overview I write down in details the topics I have to review and I check them off if I finish them. I just love the feeling of accomplishing every item in my list.

2. Concept before practice What I do is I read first the theories or concept of a certain topic, highlighting important ideas and also answering the sample problems then I summarize in my notebook or flashcards what I’ve read.

Then I answer practical accounting books, when answering problems of course you can get things wrong, so, what I do is I mark those problems and I write somewhere in the side of the answer why I got it wrong. After answering all the problems in that topic, I answer again the problem where I made a mistake to see if I already understand it.

Another reason I highlight the problems where I made a mistake is for me to easily find what problems I find difficult or confusing when I want to browse for the last minute.

3. For Business Law or Taxation - Read, Highlight and Summarize We usually have 10 sections or articles as our homework or worst we’re not really given any details as to what will be covered on our recitation. So, what we do is read as much as we can.

In our school we attend Business Law or Taxation class mainly for recitations or quizzes we don’t usually have discussion, maybe once or twice before midterm or final exams.

I read 10 Sections or Articles, understand them, highlight important notes, then I write in my notebook the exact Section or Article and summarize in my own word what it contains because no books or printed materials are allowed in our class. I do them in a continuous process until I run out of time.

Before, I write first before I try to understand what I’m actually writing and it end up I have written notes but I don’t really understand them deeply. I know what’s written in my notebook but I only memorize them but not really understand them.

So I tried the other way aroung and that is reading and understanding first before writing my notes. It was more efficient and I ended up writing lesser since I already understand it.

4. Use one calculator This way you’ll be more familiar with the distance between numbers and where they are situated. You’ll be amaze that you can compute without looking at your calculator.

If you want to change calculators make sure you do it some time before an exam that is enough for you to get used to your new calculator.

Make sure also that the calculator that you are using is allowed in the actual board exam so you don’t have to change and find your calculator unfamiliar.

5. Make studying a habit I unconciously made studying a habit that was when I was really desperate to pass a subject because my graduation depends on it.

Making study habit means you feel incomplete without studying. Waking up without an alarm and sleeping at the same time everyday.

As for my experience, I was desperate so I really studied everyday! But there was a time when I said I don’t want to study anymore because I’m not making any progress but I just can’t help not to study. I stood up from my bed and started studying.