I want to learn everything and it is becoming a problem

I try to make it incredibly clear to people what I do and don’t know and what I think is difficult and I’ve made a lot of friends because people feel comfortable talking to each other WHEN THEY DONT FEEL INCREDIBLY JUDGED for what they think they’re supposed to know. I make it abundantly clear that I am Allergic to Combinatorics and that my algebra isn’t as strong as my analysis or that geometry is 100% not my strong suit. I’m bad at elementary number theory and I’m not so good at computation at all but I’m good at set theory and explaining things and I’m even better at making connections between fields.

I just wish the math community was better at admitting what they DONT know instead of constantly trying to show off what they do, STEM is such a dick measuring contest sometimes it’s embarrassing and counterproductive and Ugly

I try to make it incredibly clear to people what I do and don’t know and what I think is difficult and I’ve made a lot of friends because people feel comfortable talking to each other WHEN THEY DONT FEEL INCREDIBLY JUDGED for what they think they’re supposed to know. I make it abundantly clear that I am Allergic to Combinatorics and that my algebra isn’t as strong as my analysis or that geometry is 100% not my strong suit. I’m bad at elementary number theory and I’m not so good at computation at all but I’m good at set theory and explaining things and I’m even better at making connections between fields.

I just wish the math community was better at admitting what they DONT know instead of constantly trying to show off what they do, STEM is such a dick measuring contest sometimes it’s embarrassing and counterproductive and Ugly

I used to be a varsity swimmer, and I was damn good, but I was forced into it by my parents and completely lost my love for it and therein my drive. But in high school I was swimming against such talented swimmers like Olympic Swimmer Missy Franklin. I’ve met her, and the main difference between her and me was that I was strong but had no passion, but she was strong BECAUSE she had passion. 

And I could have been good, really good, maybe even Olympic good. I even have the predisposition for it, been swimming since I was 2 years old, have a mom who was almost an olympic swimmer. Missy didn’t have either of those things, she just wanted it, loved it, had been doing it for a long time, and decided she was going to kick ass at it.

Right, that’s great and all, but I completely missed my opportunity to be an olympic swimmer, yeah? and can never achieve those dreams I had as a kid? No, not even though. There was this whole thought that female athletes peak when they’re 17 years old and lose their skills quickly after that, and male athletes peak around 19. But then Olympic Swimmer Dara Torres shows up. She was an olympic swimmer when she was 17, 21 and 25. Pretty normal age for retirement. She had a few kids. She kicked butt at being a mom. 

And then at 33 years old she decides she’s bored or something gets back in shape and kicks so much ass at the trials that she lands herself on the Olympic Team ONCE AGAIN. And then 8 years later, she decides, heck I’m 41 now, no one has ever made the olympic swim team as old as I am, I want to get in shape yet again and teach these children how sports work.

And she still has the record for oldest US Olympic Swimmer, not even any men have beat out that record.

So basically what I’m saying is you could be an olympic swimmer, you really could be. And there are obviously a lot of things stopping you and trying to get in your way: your brain, society, too much chocolate cake for example. But if you really dedicate yourself to it and love it with all of your heart you could, you really could.

And lets say olympic swimming isn’t your jam? That’s cool too. There isn’t a single skill in this world that you can’t learn if you absolutely love it and want to. Any skill you want is going to take time. There are countless famous people who started learning a skill after 20, 30, 40, or even 50. Not a single person has even been president under age 35 (most likely because you’re not allowed to be, but there’s a reason for that). Whatever you want to do you’re probably going to be bad at first, and I’m talking really shitty.

Van Gogh got started in his 20′s and was thought to have no artistic talent at first and was forced to sit in the back of classrooms where the worst artists in the class sat. So yeah you’ll probably be bad, like really bad and everyone including you will think you’re bad. If you stick with it though, if you’re willing to work for years and years, if you keep loving it after all the pain it’s given you, 

then you might just paint Starry Night.

But one of my buddies started in 1975.

IN 1975.

He quit 5 times, because of life. Work. Kids. Marriage. Etc.

But he’s back again and he is still practising. Not as my training buddy anymore like 10 years ago, but as my student. But he doesn’t care. He just really loves what he does.

And I’m sure he will get to his black belt. I’m damn sure of it.

Because he has drive.

He has love.