CRITICAL MISSION FAILURE
Strike-One is deceased, XCOM is detroyed, and humanity is dead.
This blog is closing.
Permanently.
i don't do bad sauce passes

⁂
taylor price
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Cosimo Galluzzi

oozey mess
trying on a metaphor

JVL
Sweet Seals For You, Always
🪼
NASA
h
Misplaced Lens Cap
RMH
cherry valley forever

Product Placement
Stranger Things
Not today Justin
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
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@strikeoneout
CRITICAL MISSION FAILURE
Strike-One is deceased, XCOM is detroyed, and humanity is dead.
This blog is closing.
Permanently.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Hmmmm, what will happen when you've lost your toys? *cause all infantry weapons above basic laser, to OVERLOAD and explode. And summoning the entire Chaos armada ((as In every single space ship the forces of Chaos has ever had.)) To begin a final Black Crusade.
The end appeared.
The armada was too big. With no self-defences, Earth was overun within hours.
Rips open a tear in reality, allowing beings that shouldn't exist into creation. They looked at humanity, and smiled at the mortals, and descended to feed on their souls.
As the beings headed towards Earth SSG fire tore at them, the Fusion Lances aiming to destroy them before they could hit land. Most of them were destroyed; Firestorms were able to mop the rest up before serious trouble was caused.
Sends in 6 million Imperial Stardestoryers and the Death Star. And brings forth 50 Daleks in the middle of Britain.
The star battle contnued as an immense object loomed.
It was the size of the Moon and carried a superlaser capable of wiping a planet clean off the map.
As the last of the Geth and the Reapers disappeared, and the Covenant began to beat a retreat, Fusion Lance fire shifted to the Death Star, the combined might of humanity blasting away at the massive space station. It may have been large, but it began to take serious damage to its shields as Firestorms rushed it en masse, heading directly for its one weakness;
Its thermal exhaust port.
——
The Daleks ran rampant in London. Laser fire was merely able to scratch their armor; the Daleks, meanwhile, levelled entire buildings. The British Army was eventually called in, and after a fierce - and brutal - fight, the Daleks were themselves exterminated via the cleansing fire of plasma after single-handedly wiping out three divisions.
I manifest in XCOM, and promptly say to first human I meet. "Greetings, I'm the Benefactor, and I come with a warning. You leave this universe, and the worse of us there is will be coming after you. Me and Salvation and Ruin like your kind, and want you to live, and if you lot leave your universe without the approval of the Council, you won't last long, me, Salvation and Ruin, Guardian, and Order are trying to help, but even we're limited."
The first human turned out to be the Commander - who had temporarily turned off the Shields in her room.
She quietly studied the Benefactor and took in his words, before carefully considering her next choice of words.
"Then we will find where they live and we will kill them."

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Promptly seals this universe off from the rest of creation. "The last thing they need is for Ragnorok to find them." I said as I reinforced the seals with enough power to destroy 10 Dimensions.
(( Too anticlimactic, sorry. ))
Sends 90 thousand Covenant, Reaper, and Geth ships to wipe out the defence fleet.
Humanity was more than ready.
As the satellites detected the combined mass of ships, the Space Defense Network came online. A legion of thousands of satellite defence turrets, each one armed with multiple Fusion Lances, acquired their firing solutions with the assistance of XCOM's supercomputer network and Lotus, and opened up.
Blasts of yellow energy streaked out from beyond the earth, impacting countless ships. The Reapers and Geth, using only kinetic barriers, were entirely unprepared for the assault and their numbers began to dwindle quickly as the ship-killing Fusion Lances rended their armor apart. The Covenant ships were significantly more well-protected, and their shields took the brunt of the impact - but the smaller ships began to fall.
The fleet was reduced in number by at least one quarter when the Defense Fleet - scarred, but prepared - began firing salvos - their main guns replaced with Fusion Lances. At the same time, Earth's surface-to-space turrets opened up - hundreds more Fusion Lances joining the melee even as the Space Defense Network continued to fire on the invading ships.
Even the Covenant's numbers began to fall quickly, as their shields were simply entirely unprepared and they fell apart. The Reapers and Geth were more-or-less slaughtered, entirely unprepared for the energy assault and quickly blasted into pieces by the sheer volume of fire headed their way.
Salvation and Ruin, smiled, but it was a sad smile. "Hear me, humanity, know that I wish to warn you that those of my kind who wish to bring you suffering will not stop if you simply leave Earth, they will follow, your Heroes of Old and Pantheons and armies Of Heaven, can not. I am Salvation and Ruin, and I am sorry."
As the words washed over the earth, the Commander of XCOM stared up.
"No matter. We will find another way."
"We will not be tortured by your kind anymore."
"We are not your playthings."
"And we will be left in peace."
Operation: Lifeboat
The stage - in this case, the Situation Room - was relatively clear as Commander Alexandria Cross - looking like she'd been put through a meat grinder - stepped out into it to face the camera SHIV. She took a deep breath and prepared to face the world.
The drone beeped.
"Greetings, humanity. As you all known, I am Alexandria Cross, the Supreme Commander of the Extradimensional Combat Unit. As you are no doubt well aware, we have recently found several nefarious - and heroic - entities have been using Earth, and as such humanity, as their playground. Three hours ago mutants appeared because something rewrote their genetics. People over the world have been turning into feral beasts, Hong Kong was destroyed by a starship the size of the Chixculub meteor and promptly restored. We are being battered."
"And I will not stand for this any longer."
"I am pleased to announce that XCOM has officially begun tests for something we're calling Operation: Lifeboat. It is clear that Earth has been foresaken, so we are going to do something nobody would have thought possible until this chaos started."
"They can have Earth. We're leaving."
"Within several days our prototype engine will be installed on one of our military starships - and I am aware this breaks several conventions, but in the end recent events have forced our hand. We will begin testing to find a new home - one that will remain unmolested by the hands of whatever ails us."
"Once we've done enough scouting, equipped enough ships, we will proceed to begin the evacuation of planet Earth. We will seed humanity amongst the multiverse, and prevent these calamities from ever happening again. While it is true that some of these events are favorable, it is clear the unfavorable events and their disasterous consequences far outweigh the benefits."
"Hold out hope, humanity. We just may survive yet."
"Vigilo Confido."
The feed cut.
Hey what they call that massive invasion that resulted in the summoning every pantheon, hero, and the armies of Heaven?
We... are not entirely sure. There is no formal name for it as of yet.
I am unsure if one will ever be applied.
-Colonel Elpidios Wong, Strike-One

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I blinked once, twice, and then a third. "Well that backed fired." A snap returns the items to his domain. "In hind sight I should have seen that happening, oh well, time to start the creation of mutants!" With a over the top wave of my hand, I activate the X-genes. "This will be good....where I put the popcorn?"
The X-Genes lying dormant in the DNa of some ten thousand humans activated.
The show was significantly less brilliant than some expected. Most took a look at their newfound superhuman talents, shrugged it off, and continued life as normal - not really wanting to invoke the wrath of XCOM. Some used their powers for profit, others to fight evil.
Only a select few decided to use their powers for evil - they very quickly learned that lasers hurt, and superpowers don't work when you're dead. Humanity welcomed mutants with open arms.
Hey, they weren't aliens.
After Carefully rewriting around 10,000 humans DNA to add the (in)famous X-Gene from the marvel multiverse, I decide, if Salvation and Ruin was going to resurrect EVERY pantheon, why don't make something out of it? So I recreated 3 relics, a Scroll bearing the name of every Death God and Godess, a crown containing a fragment of every head God or Godess, and a Sword, with the power to actually KILL gods and goddesses, but never harm a child.
Of course, however, neither of these ended up anywhere in particular.
The scroll fell into the Atlantic, the sword became lodged in Stonehenge, and the crown ended up being found in Southern Mexico and used as a truck stop tourist trap.
The one in the Diablo series made by Blizzard, and Skyrim dragons. Sorry for the vagueness.
No.
Opens a portal to the demon world in Las Vegas. Summons 500 dragons and sent them to rampage in UK, and lastly summons 2 CAT IV Kaiju off the shores Japan.
(( Before I do anything; which demon world? And what type of dragons? ))
"YOUR ALL WELCOME BY THE WAY!" I yell, my voice thundering in the XCOM personnel' s heads. "Also, Hello, Goodbye." I say before returning to my dimension, where it's quiet.
Fortunately, the extradimensional psionic emanations were only heard in the Receiving Room.
The rest of XCOM's workers, protected by Reality Shields, were free to continue work on whatever it was they were planning to do.

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titan-pilot-abe incoming. Strike-One to the Extraplanar Receiving Room.
Yolonda nodded. “The Supercarrier is approximately twenty kilometres long.”
After a moment’s pause, she added, “It appears as if something has rewound time and reversed the damage to Southern Asia. Sometimes I wonder whether or not I’ll live to see the next day.”
Abe was currently weirded out as to how casual Yolonda seemed to be about that time shenanigans. ’Course, he’s seen some pretty weird shit before, so he decided not to question it. Though he did feel the need to ask one question. ”I’m assuming time shenanigans is normal around these parts? Any other crazy-ass shit goin’ on that I need to know about?”
Innokenti stepped up, not looking much different from Andromeda.
"Maaaaan," he said, "I wish there was a way to tell you. The official name for this place is the XCOM Alpha Site. It's really called Weird Shit Central, though - we get all the fun of the apocalypse with almost none of the damage."
Just so you all know, everyone who died, fully remembers dying.
In other news, Asia is looking for therapists.
Several thousand of them.