my boyfriend forgot our one year anniversary tonight and 5 months ago he forgot my birthday lol rip

okay i’m just gonna rant about everything in my whole life real quick. i have a total of 4 friends. i had five but she chose her psycho boyfriend over us and he is literally verbally abusive and i think he’s going to hurt her and i’m scared and hurt because she was my best friend and the only person i trusted. now i feel more alone than ever even though i have my 4 friends. my dad moved to australia after my mom divorced him and got a boyfriend in three months and then made me move and hour from everything i love or care about right before my senior year of high school causing me to commute 2 hours to school everyday because of traffic. i feel like killing myself again just like i did when i was a sophomore. i have started to get my ocd tendencies back and i’m more anxious more than ever and i’m depressed as hell. i started cutting again after not doing it for 2 years. i’m spiraling and this is NOT a cry for help. i can’t tell anyone about this in my life and i trapped. i had to get it out somewhere and sorry to anyone who read this. maybe someday i’ll be strong enough to leave this world but my cat is the only reason i haven’t sorry again to anyone who read this i’m just feeling really shitty