strektar

me: hey friend: *after two minutes of not replying* hey whats up me: *washing the gasoline off myself* not much hbu

just now realized the implication is the person was about to light themselves on fire. i’ve had this tagged as #me for months thinking it was just a post about loving gasoline

Isn’t this website your using created by capitalism?

someone post the meme

THE CAT IS OKAY. THE CHILD PICTURED IS EATING A DIFFERENT KIND OF SUSHI.

i have a hit new game idea. woman dies. white husband with dark hair and stubble is Pissed

i don’t know if this new game idea really taps into all video games can be in this day and age. could you maybe add some melancholic staring into the distance after each instance of gritty and badass revenge? 

And then a NEW romantic interest shows up with  even bigger bonkhonagahoogs. humungous hungolomghnonoloughongous.

holy shit 

PLEASE

When tf is this country going to learn ???

Never tbh

So we’re destroying their unions but giving teachers guns?  Uhm…

They’ll pay for guns but not art programs and school supplies. 

HOLY SHIT 

I fucking snorted this is too much lmao

FU C K 😂😂😂😂😂😂

lmfaooooo

*crying laughter*

inside your body is PITCH BLACK your cells do all of that in the DARK

self care is swallowing lit matches every 5 minutes so that ur cells can see whatever the fuck they’re doing in there

Do you ever think about how sperm don’t work right at body temperature and that’s why males have external testicles? Design-wise that is such a huge risk to take. Your most important organ is swinging free outside your body, vulnerable to injury or attack. All because one (1) type of cell, your fucking gametes for christ’s sake, cannot function at the normal body temperature of the organism they belong to. What the fuck. I never want to hear a man try and say females are biologically inferior ever again.

While I’m at it also they have to share one hole that they both pee and have sex out of. That’s fucking gross and unsanitary. Everytime a man cums in you you’re also getting all the pee that was in his urethra enjoy that thought ladies. You know how many holes birds have? One. They pee, poop and have sex all in the same hole it’s called the cloaca. You know how many holes women have? Three. Because we evolved one. Evolution-wise, men fall somewhere between a chicken and a human female. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

ellen degeneres is turning 60 years old this week and i’m not sure how to process that information like…. i never knew how old she was and i never really thought about that fact that she has an age…. i feel like she just exists on this planet as an ageless entity

It’s because she’s had the same damn haircut since she was an embryo.

republicans like to say “oh im fiscally conservative and socially liberal” as if the two spheres arent linked. how do you think social programs get funded? what someone means when they say this is “i think welfare is neato but not neat enough to warrant an increase in my taxes”