think i’ll miss you forever

An alternate ending where you save depowered Homelander and go live together in hiding because I need some comfort after the last episode (fluff, angst, not proof read)

You don't remember what happened. The only things you remember was being alerted that some intruders have bypassed the security system, and one thing you will never forget: Homelander beaten up on the floor, and William Butcher with a crowbar in his hand. As fast as you could, you ran up behind Butcher and snatched the weapon from him, swinging it back and forth and yelling at him and everyone in the room to go away. The rest is a blur.

You quickly drove away to your cabin in the hills, Homelander still wailing in the seat next to you. Maybe it wasn't the best stay but as long as you were both laying low it was good enough. You picked up a first aid kit and medicated him. He was hissing at each one of your touches. He really lost his powers.

----

The last few days have been... difficult, to say the least.

He spent most of his time in complete silence sitting on the couch in a hunched position, his blue eyes absently gazing at the horizon and his always neatly styled coiffed hair now an uncombed and matted blonde mess he didn't bother to brush. Instead of his iconic signature blue suit and striped cape, you made him wear one of your old t-shirts and pants. After all that fiasco on live TV you didn't want to gather attention, after all.

You entered the room with the plate in your hands, signaling your presence with a fake cough "Surpriiise! Eggs and bacon!" you chirped as you put the plate on his lap. You organized the food so that the yolks looked like two eyes and the bacon stripes a smiling mouth. It looked silly and cheesy, but you really wanted to cheer him up somehow. "Oh! And I didn't forget..." you sprinted to the kitchen and came back with a glass of milk "Ta-daa!". Surprisingly, only then his orbs glided your way and he slowly raised his arm to pick it up, gulping it all and giving it back.

As usual, he didn't bother to say 'thank you' but heh why do I care, manners have never been his forte.

You inhaled and bit your lower lip before speaking again "I know things have been rough, Joh-"

"DON'T..." he finally spoke, pointing a finger at you and making you flinch "...call me that"

But before you could speak again, he sharply got up, uncaring of the food spilling on the ground "Oh but you're right. That's the only name you could call me now, huh? Not 'fucking Homelander', just... JUST. THAT FUCKING NAME. You know what? You should have let William fucking lobotomize me with that crowbar, but nooo! You had to get in the way, make me live like a mud person like you-"

"ENOUGH!" you snapped, feeling some satisfaction in seeing him flinch this time "I saved you because I love you, I always did" you briefly saw his brows knitting and his lips opening slightly at that "'Oh but you are a lousy dirty human and I'm the Homelander I can do whatever the fuck I want buh buh buh', I DON'T CARE, and saving your blonde high ass is what any person would have done in such situation! I saved you from getting murdered and put both of us in hiding since your superiority complex managed to piss off an entire nation that now wants both of us dead, and everything you can do is complaining about how much I'm a terrible person for it!"

There was some silence between the both of you, but you could see that his facial expressions have softened significantly. He didn't seem angry, he seemed... sad? Guilty? Like a young boy that just got scolded by his parents. You looked down at the crumpled nasty mix of porcelain and food on the ground, no longer looking like a smiling face.

You sighed "Stay here. I'll clean up"

"Did you really mean it?"

"Mhm?"

"The 'I love you' thing. Did you really mean it?"

"Why should I have lied about it?"

You saw a tear roll down his cheek and rushed to hug him "Hey hey, shhh, it's ok"

You've seen him crying multiple times these days, and everytime it happened you hugged him. No matter how many time it happened, it never annoyed or bothered you. You knew he hated it, crying in front of you, of anyone, and being seen as weak, and each time you tell him that it's not true.

"You won't love me anymore now" he sobs.

"What?"

"My powers. I was who I was because of my powers. Now I lost them. I lost everything. I WAS THE HOMELANDER, FOR FUCK'S SAKE! I WAS A GOD ON EARTH!" you softly squeezed his hand "Now... now... now I can't even fly. Now I'm... John..." he pronounced that name like it was poison "A nobody. You are playing the good samarithan to a fucking mister nobody"

"Stop" you shushed him, rubbing soothing circles on his back "Cape or not, you will always be the same to me" he kept crying, but your presence and your hugs did their tricks.

-----

The next week went by a little better. Even though John still acted like a stray cat getting accustomed to its new surroundings, in regards to his new powerless normal human body.

"Why? Why should I do this?"

"It's called 'cooking', John. You just turn on the stove like this!"