do I HAVE a brain with which to fill with lard?

Heard some important information on Twitter today, and thought I’d post it here for anyone who may not have heard it. This is actually a thing, devised by human rights organisation called Karma Nirvana.

tumblr is not a resource.

dissociation isn’t spiritual.

systems aren’t spiritual either.

other people won’t usually notice you switching but sometimes you won’t  notice yourself switching either.

you don’t have to know who was fronting at all times.

alters can influence you even if they’re not currently fronting (re: passive influence).

sometimes you won’t realize when an alter is co-con with you, other times you will but you won’t know who.

it’s ok if you don’t know who you are.

it’s ok if you don’t know how many alters you have.

your alters don’t have to have their own names.

it’s common to not know every little detail about your alters.

it’s also common to not have good system communication.

persecutors are traumatized, not evil.

every part of you deserves a chance to recover and be happy. treat your alters kindly.

you don’t have to identify as multiple people just because you have DID.

alters are parts of one whole.

you don’t have to have a system name.

you don’t owe anyone anything about your alters or trauma (but you should consider sharing with a therapist).

it’s ok to not know everything about your system.

it’s ok to be confused about a lot of things.

- Don’t make a big deal out of it

- say hello to whoever’s out

- check if they’re okay. Sometimes switches can be caused by trauma triggers

- Ask if they know where they are, what they’re doing, etc. If they don’t, tell them

it’s the kind of addictive behaviour we engage in that doesn’t actually benefit us in any way, such as:

- Reading The Comments

- ruthless discourse that won’t accomplish anything

- checking up on people and topics you shouldn’t

- 90% of body image stuff

- constant stream of devastating news

and so on, and so on!!

there are suddenly far less barriers and boundaries between our hearts and the entire rest of the constant, churning world, and sometimes the only thing holding us back from pointless hurt is our own willpower. that’s not always gonna be enough.

we feel shame for turning off anon, for blocking those who hurt us without giving them a “fair chance” first, for leaving a discussion, for leaving a space, for going offline, for missing out. we keep martyring ourselves, and for what? our hearts are not made for this.

- take stock of just how much time, energy and emotion you pour into something that doesn’t give back, and find out what’s Gotta Go

- “i’m only going to check this thing ONCE a day”, then week, then month, but at that point you probably no longer have a strong compulsion to Check

- “i’m not going to check this upsetting thing right before bed, because it will just make it hard to sleep”

- “i’m not going to check this upsetting thing first thing in the morning, because it’ll ruin my whole day”

How they smile

What their “tell” is for lying

Posture

Volume of speech, if they’re verbal

Nervous tics

How much eye contact do they make

In a group conversation, how close do they stand to others? Are they off to the side just listening and occasionally speaking or are they right next to people?

When standing, what do they do with their hands? Talk with their hands, cross their arms, put hands in pockets, prop up against the wall, etc

The sound of their footsteps

Nonverbal greetings: do they wave, nod, hug, glare, punch, high five, something else?

I got pretty fed up with looking for words to replace said because they weren’t sorted in a way I could easily use/find them for the right time. So I did some myself.

IN RESPONSE TO Acknowledged Answered Protested

INPUT/JOIN CONVERSATION/ASK Added Implored Inquired Insisted Proposed Queried Questioned Recommended Testified

GUILTY/RELUCTANCE/SORRY Admitted Apologized Conceded Confessed Professed

FOR SOMEONE ELSE Advised Criticized Suggested

JUST CHECKING Affirmed Agreed Alleged Confirmed

LOUD Announced Chanted Crowed

LEWD/CUTE/SECRET SPY FEEL Appealed Disclosed Moaned

ANGRY FUCK OFF MATE WANNA FIGHT Argued Barked Challenged Cursed Fumed Growled Hissed Roared Swore

SMARTASS Articulated Asserted Assured Avowed Claimed Commanded Cross-examined Demanded Digressed Directed Foretold Instructed Interrupted Predicted Proclaimed Quoted Theorized

ASSHOLE Bellowed Boasted Bragged

NERVOUS TRAINWRECK Babbled Bawled Mumbled Sputtered Stammered Stuttered

SUAVE MOTHERFUCKER Bargained Divulged Disclosed Exhorted

FIRST OFF Began

LASTLY Concluded Concurred

WEAK PUSY Begged Blurted Complained Cried Faltered Fretted

HAPPY/LOL Cajoled Exclaimed Gushed Jested Joked Laughed

WEIRDLY HAPPY/EXCITED Extolled Jabbered Raved

BRUH, CHILL Cautioned Warned

ACTUALLY, YOU’RE WRONG Chided Contended Corrected Countered Debated Elaborated Objected Ranted Retorted

CHILL SAVAGE Commented Continued Observed Surmised

LISTEN BUDDY Enunciated Explained Elaborated Hinted Implied Lectured Reiterated Recited Reminded Stressed

BRUH I NEED U AND U NEED ME Confided Offered Urged

FINE Consented Decided

TOO EMO FULL OF EMOTIONS Croaked Lamented Pledged Sobbed Sympathized Wailed Whimpered

JUST SAYING Declared Decreed Mentioned Noted Pointed out Postulated Speculated Stated Told Vouched

WASN’T ME Denied Lied

EVIL SMARTASS Dictated Equivocated Ordered Reprimanded Threatened

BORED Droned Sighed

SHHHH IT’S QUIET TIME Echoed Mumbled Murmured Muttered Uttered Whispered

DRAMA QUEEN Exaggerated Panted Pleaded Prayed Preached

OH SHIT Gasped Marveled Screamed Screeched Shouted Shrieked Yelped Yelled

ANNOYED Grumbled Grunted Jeered Quipped Scolded Snapped Snarled Sneered

ANNOYING Nagged

I DON’T REALLY CARE BUT WHATEVER Guessed Ventured

I’M DRUNK OR JUST BEING WEIRDLY EXPRESSIVE FOR A POINT/SARCASM Hooted Howled Yowled

I WONDER Pondered Voiced Wondered

OH, YEAH, WHOOPS Recalled Recited Remembered

SURPRISE BITCH Revealed

IT SEEMS FAKE BUT OKAY/HA ACTUALLY FUNNY BUT I DON’T WANT TO LAUGH OUT LOUD Scoffed Snickered Snorted

Also, the ideal wording for a 911 call after someone has threatened to kill themselves is that the person themselves has announced their intention to kill themselves, or said they were going to kill themselves, something like that. “I suspect that they’re going to kill themself” is subjective and vague; “they have said that they are going to kill themself” is a factual statement that communicates useful information about their stated intentions, and if there’s any suspicion that the person is being dishonest about those intentions as a manipulation tactic, it preserves, documents, and centers their dishonesty and releases you from the responsibility for sorting out the person’s true intentions.