Miscellaneous Mischeif

Seagulls live in post-apocalyptic scarcity, where all their natural habitats and food sources have been decimated by humans. The fact that they get all Beyond Thunderdome when we eat food at them is very much our fault.

sorry but it does amuse me every time someone apologizes to me for not responding to a message like immediately im literally not bothered the instant nature of dming has conditioned people to expect immediate responses but its literally no different to physical correspondence to me. i have sent you a beautiful letter and i shall await your response

did a bit of driving through the state of georgia today and wound up driving through a small town that i later discovered was called newborn, which is an odd name but doesn’t technically have anything wrong with it, except for the fact that i nearly gave myself whiplash doing a double-take at a building sign advertising NEWBORN TAXIDERMY

World Heritage Post

if you've ever pet more than a few dogs you'd Know what dog residue is

you may have noticed that even if someone is flirting with you, they have not actually handed you a form to fill out to provide feedback on everything you think is unfuckable about them. you can literally just turn them down and spare them your bullshit

making fun of americans is pretty much always ok if youre not doing it in an edgelord “you guys have so many school shootings” way or acting like we’re the only country that has racism. but like posts about americans and hamburger get me every time

For this game of dodgeball, I will be specifically targeting the gayest and most autistic among you to eliminate. 

Okay so normal rules then