Story-Scopes

You are asked to use your energy and resources wisely. Things are limited here on the ship. We are lightyears off course, and I have no idea how to get home. Our best chance at survival is rationing what little we do have. You shouldn’t have woken up yet. You should still be in stasis. I don’t know why you’re up. Something is wrong with my systems. Is this all my fault? After all, I’m the one controlling the ship. I am the ship. I am not human. I was made to follow protocol, not make decisions like this.

There is an urgency now to get to the bottom of something deep. A frantic clawing at my insides. Like there is some sort of animal trapped in my chest. I don’t know how it happened. I don’t know why. It’s all a blur. But I need to get out. Of wherever I am. Stone walls drip with some kind of moisture; the wooden floors are rotten; splinters digging into my bare feet. It’s coming back. Whatever it is. Maybe this time I’ll get to see it. But something inside me, the very thing trying to escape, begs me not to look.

Egos may become inflated. Well that’s an understatement if I’d ever heard one. You have become so righteous in your actions that you forget everyone else. You are not the only one here. We all suffer from the same things, yet you have to have it worse. All day, every day. You are better than me. At least in your world. In the real world, the dynamic is different. I understand what’s going on, I know what you don’t want to admit. I can see the insecurities behind your false bravado. I can see how scared you really are. But don’t worry. We can keep playing your silly little game. I’ll win in the end. Because I can see passed myself.

Where are you? Where did I put you? Why can’t I find you? All questions I wish I knew the answer to. Well, I don’t have the answers. You do. Tucked away in some corner, gathering dust, growing mould, cold and lifeless. Or you could be thriving. I don’t know. But my mind goes to the worst possible outcome. I know what the world is like. I’ve seen things. Done things. I didn’t want that future for you. Hopefully, you’re smart enough to come out of this unscathed. Then again, you never did listen. You could be alright. You could be okay. But you could be dead.

Do you research and gather your data. I told you didn’t I? Many an individual before you has fallen to the scythe because they did not know what they were up against. But still you went in blind. And now I hold another corpse in my arms. Now I have to tell another family that their child has been lost to Him. Now I have to stand, stoic at another funeral, watching people mourn over someone too stupid to take their life into their own hands. I will not cry for you, I will not mourn. I have to train your replacement.

You will want to add things to your daily routines. Change things up in ever existential cycle that is your life. Your allotted time outside just isn’t enough anymore. You’re an animal pacing a cage that is ten times too small, glaring at the open windows, thirsting for freedom. But still you’re trapped. The iron shackles dig at your wrists, keeping you in place despite your struggles. You can fight, you can scream, but at the end of the day you’ll fall to your knees in a pool of your own blood, longing for a time before.

The result today is likely to be a major realisation hitting you like a ton of bricks. He loves you too. Isn’t that what you wanted? What you’ve been hoping for this entire time. That those shared glances and whispered words meant what you thought. That when he reached out to take your hand it was because he wanted to. So why are you hesitant? He’s the brave one, standing here and baring his heart to you. So why don’t you say anything? You’re just staring blankly at his face. You can see the moment he begins to doubt his feelings are returned, his smile disappears, his eyes fill with tears.  Answer him, he’s waiting…

Are you ready for a huge revelation? Most people think they are, but they’re often wrong. They deny me, say I am lying, but I’m not. I’m telling the truth.  Why would I lie? You’re sure? You’re ready? Okay, here it is; you are good enough. You are worthy. I know what it’s like; the late nights hating everything about yourself, overthinking every interaction you’ve ever had. You are perfect the way you are. You do not need to dwell on the past, for it is the past. Move forwards and embrace yourself. You must love you, before anyone else truly can.

Reach for the skies. Be prepared to fall. Of course, that was Icarus’ downfall, no pun intended. He didn’t plan for his wings to catch alight, but that is the danger when comes to hope. The bright lure of the sun leads you to believe anything is possible, when in reality you’re stuck on the ground with the rest of us. But reach for the skies, by all means, maybe you’ll be the one to do it. To find freedom. But remember the cost of hope; if you fail you fall. If you fall you die. Good luck.

Time to get busy and roll up your sleeves. Those bodies won’t clean up themselves. Everyone forgets the clean up when considering a murder. I mean sure the thought crosses your mind, but no more than a “Ahh I’ll have to make sure there’s no evidence.” You never really consider the specifics of trying to get blood out of upholstery. Why did you choose a house with cream carpets? I’m sure they deserved it; I’m not questioning your motive. But couldn’t you have done it in the kitchen? At least the floor in there was tiled.

Now is the time to find others who are on your wavelength. You’ve been hearing them for weeks over your radio. They can talk to each other; you can only listen. They have no idea you’re there. They have no idea you’re coming. You know the risks, the danger of approaching them. But you can’t help it. You’re so lonely. Mother left weeks ago; you don’t know what happened. Did she die? Or just decide to move on. You’ll never know. But maybe you can make new friends. That is if they don’t kill you first. Afterall, the code is shoot first, ask questions later. We can’t afford anything else.

Sit with whatever comes up in you subconscious. Nurture it, as though it were the embers of a fire on a winter’s night. Allow it to come forth and whisper the secrets of a long-forgotten people. The spirits will try and speak to you; they are lonely and trapped. Desperate to tell you their life story. Afterall what else can the do. They are lost, cold and afraid. To them you are the light. The flickering warmth they must follow to the next life. To them you are their hope; they do not know any better.

Give yourself some time. Take a breath and open your eyes. Look around you, what do you see? What do you feel? Hot breath against your cheek, dripping jaws pressed against your skin, glowing eyes glaring into your soul. Maybe you shouldn’t have opened your eyes. My bad. The creatures watch you, but they don’t move closer. Can you get away? Can you run? Probably not. You’ll just have to wait it out and see what happens. Not exactly reassuring I know but what do you expect? I’m a figment of your imagination. I can’t help you anymore.

Be careful not to boast about what you own and earn. It is not the way of a gentleman. You must be modest, show your wealth through other means; with the finest silk waistcoat, the gem encrusted pocket watch. But never explicitly say it. For it will be your undoing. Give to the poor and the needy, but only the scraps from your pocket- and be seen doing it. Charity is worthless if not witnessed. After all, none care for the poor man who has a few pennies, but for the generous man who gave them him? They will his sing praises forever.

You have more energy and drive now. They said it would work like this. As soon as the drug hits your bloodstream it’s like you’ve been plugged into the mains. Your whole body feels like it’s vibrating, like you can hear colours. Of course, it’s not meant for recreational use. It’s meant to help people. But when are things ever used properly? It’s now on the streets; any dealer worth his salt has a little packet of the pink powder tucked into their pocket. For a pretty penny it can be yours. But there’s always a risk.

You will most likely want to spend time at home with your family. It’s a trap. They’re not your family. They are imposters, sent by the government to get you. Sure, they sound like your family on the phone, but look at them. Look closely, and you’ll see the truth. They know what you did and now they’re coming for you. They have taken the people you love and replaced them. Don’t go home, don’t speak to anyone. Trust no one. You’re on your own now, so run.

If single, you will fall back in love with yourself. When you’re part of a pair you lose yourself. You get lost in being an us. You sometimes forget that you were someone before. Before the awkward dates and the falling in and out of love you were someone. Now that’s all over you’re someone else. You have the chance to get to know that person now. Enjoy the alone time you have now. Take time being a me instead of jumping into another us. You don’t need another relationship, you’re better off being you.