hanzo’s eyes meet hers for a moment, yet as soon as she speaks his eyes dart away, fingers clutching the small glass of sake, as if to keep it out of sight, yet it’s almost like his brain (fuzzy from the alcohol) had caught up to his body, and he makes an effort to readjust his posture once more. even drunk, he’s not willing to divulge too much, doesn’t let himself rest and forgive, “ ....not much.” or more, not enough to drown out the nightmare that had haunted him for most of that day. though the high flush of his cheekbones probably tells another story.

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add on -- since i couldn’t find where to fit it in nicely. but i think even now, he looks at genji, at the man he is now, and still feels a piercing of jealousy. all along his brother had always been the better of the two - and it’s only more evident now as genji was the first to extend forgiveness and now appears to be living a life wherein he’s at peace and actively fighting for something good. genji’s hands have always been cleaner than hanzo, and hanzo can’t help but wish he too could have that. yet, funnily enough, it’s his own self that holds him back from reaching the same peace.

now-a-days after his leaving of the shimada clan, hanzo only feels regret. regret and shame. he felt foolish for not realising sooner what the family had been orchestrating, what he’d let them drive him to do. he feels there is nothing that could be done to wash this from his hands, from his soul. even if genji has extended his forgiveness, hanzo does not feel worthy of this act, nor of accepting it, not until he’s found his own form of redemption.

—  so, it’s sorta all started with an idea, a love for angst and noticing han.zo’s voice lines. it’s clear from his ult he has two dragons that fly through the sky in a fearsome display; entwined with each other. his ult line is also very iconic -  Let the dragon consume you! (friendly) & The dragon is sated. ect. and it’s right there that the idea starts. he says dragon not dragons, this could be me understanding things wrong / he could be referring to himself as the dragon, perhaps, but even from the dragon’s short - there was only one north and one south dragon. han.zo only views both dragons as one entity or being. he only has one tattoo, as far as we know, of course.  so what if he did only have one dragon; initially his dragon was only one dragon rather than two. so this is where the angst kicks in. when he first was bestowed with the dragons via sealing - so through the tattoos. and while this is in the future i can definitely see the clan wanting to use a more traditional tattooing technique because it is a whole ceremony; something akin to coming to age - perhaps. i’ll detail these ideas later but the method would be less reliant on technology, something closer to a simple needle and some inks. it would take a long time and it’s all part of the trial. withstand the pain and you are worthy of the dragons and of the shima.da name.  so he was given one tattoo and one dragon in his younger years. but once he’s older it has become two. how ? it goes from one –> two after gen.ji’s death by han.zo’s hand. the dragons, in my opinion, are pretty linked to whomever they’re bonded to - to some extent. so, my idea is what if the act of laying his hand against gen.ji - in an idea to restore gen.ji’s honor and due to the clan’s request - was so soul shattering to han.zo that it tore him apart more literally that it may seem.  he was a changed man after that, eyes opened to a lot of things; disgusted in himself and what he’d been forced to do, what he’d done, what he’d thought was right but ended up being not the case. so emotionally wounded and torn that his own dragon tore itself into two over the grief. the dragon itself having to fight one of it’s own kind.  again, from the dragons short, the dragon had become distraught, so much so the world was thrown into discord; the world had lost it’s balance because of the felling. but it’s clear to see that it had effected the dragon deeply. han.zo, much the same, was equally as effected - and while the whole world may not have been thrown into chaos, everything he’s ever known has been. it may as well be his world is shattering, as everything he’s ever trusted, known was viewed in a new light.  so perhaps in the midst of the fight, of the grief and turmoil it caused as han.zo left his home, and was trying to find himself again - tried to atone himself that the dragons had split due to the circumstance; to the act of hurting the only family he should have ever trusted, to the act of loosing himself and his home. it’s traumatic and something to that scale is deeply scarring, so much so to manifest in a physical sense.  so he still sees the twin dragons as one entity, and it hurts him to see the intertwined dragons. watching them fell his enemies twined around so tightly; trying to be whole again but not quite. perhaps they never will become one again, or perhaps after time they might. i believe it might be a sign of han.zo’s inner feelings and self, still in turmoil over things; still trying to forgive himself even if gen.ji has. perhaps the more he lets himself live, lets himself have a second chance and let himself be forgiven, they might start blending closer - back into the original entity they originally had been.