triggering but thats what were all here for right?

i don’t know if you’re familiar with the concept, but in italy, there’s this kind of thing where grandparents always make SUPER caloric food, use lots of oil, cook super caloric meals and everything. all italian grandparents are like this, it’s almost like a “””cultural””” thing, and mine are no different. they love cooking food for me and my sister, always try to make us eat a lot, just like seeing us eat their food so much, and it hurt my soul that i had to stop eating most of their food. every time i went over for lunch i would always be super careful and eat as little as possible, and they were sad and i could see that. so today, i had lunch at their house after school, said fuck you to anorexia and ate a huge amount of pasta which was probably cooked with like 8385848 calories of oil. and after that, i even had some bread with some salmon and some cheese that my grandpa bought yesterday. i REFUSE to feel guilty. my ed took away so many things from me. i refuse to let it take this one too.

i am NOWHERE near wanting to recover but i am proud of myself for doing this. a full belly feels good. if you were waiting for a sign to take a break from everything or just go eat something, this is it. please do it. think of your loved ones. i have a shitty relationship with literally all of my relatives except for them. i did this for them. i ate today, for them. and i feel good. FUCK YOU ana