Un-titled

I haven’t watched the film but i looked it up on Wikipedia so that will do.

All people on the spaceship are asleep but the main guy is accidentally woken up early on his own which is dead unlucky, but if he didn’t he wouldn’t be the main guy in the film so thats good for him.

Its like Mass Effect where they all sleep on the ships before they get to where there going and this guy woke up like 90 years early so you can see how wounded you would be if that happened, but there is a robot bartender so thats cool, but from what Martin said the bartender is a bit of a dick because he won’t make the main guy all the best stuff.

I think this actually turns the main guy into a dick because then he wakes up this pretty girl so they can die before they get to the destination together but he doesn’t tell her that and he makes the robot promise not to as well.

Then after a hilarious mix up the robot tells the girl what the main guy did and she’s pissed at him. Then loads of stuff happens where they eventually make friends again, at some point there is a guy called gus but i got bored of reading the Wikipedia by then.

San Francisco - Updated now ive been.

People

I thought there would be lots of hippies, there were not as many as i thought. Although there were lots of homeless people so its pretty much the same thing, i even saw one guy do a shit in the street.

Landmarks

I went to the golden gate bridge but i cant really remember what colour it was so it was a bit of a wasted trip. I saw the bendy road but i didn’t go on it because there were lots of people on it and to be honest it didn’t look that interesting. I also didn’t go to Alcatraz like i said i would because apparently you need to book it and i couldn’t be bothered.

Things to do.

today i got a bottle of fancy wine (champagn) and it had a card with it that said what it tasted like. but i tasted it and it was actually horrible not like what it said on the card so i thought it best to reveiw all the wine ive ever had.

Red Wine

- Tastes horrible, gives you a horrible hangover

White wine

- Tastes horrible, gives you a horrible hangover

Rose Wine

- tastes pretty bad, give you a horrible hangover

Champagn

- fizzy wine, slightly less horrible than non-fizzy wine, will make you sick all over the hotel room then in the bath (possibly staining it permanently), horrible hangover

Damson wine

- tastes like ribena but will still make you sick (the sick will look like raspberries), makes you want to die

Downtown abby

Downtown abby is just Eastenders for posh people and whoever made it has got everyone who watches it well and truly conned into thinking its something clever when its really just eastenders from the olden days with a tie.

I watched it last christmas and i wanted to claw my eyes out, its so boring, all they do is wander about and talk total rubbish, sometimes they wander in a nice garden, sometimes its in their fancy house but its all the same. Im watching it now and in the time i wrote the last sentence they did both.

one thing i do like though is that they all wear hats most of the time, which is pretty cool. I think it would be good if people started wearing hats a lot again because i like hats. to be honest though thats not really got anything to do with downtown abby because thats just what people in the past did.

the last thing i hate about is that nothing ever happens. NOTHING. Ive watched it probably twice now and there has been no explosions, fights crashes or actually anything, they just talk and its boring. At the moment they are talking in a car, i don’t know why and ill spoil it for you now by telling you it doesn’t crash.

All things considered, downtown abby is rubbish, if you really want to watch total toss on the TV just watch eastenders because sometimes they hit each other.

Someone said do a review on Irn Bru a while ago so i went home and drank some at the weekend but didn’t do a review, maybe because i forgot or i might of been just playing on xbox or something i cant really remember.

Anyway, Iron Bru is pretty good because in the co-op its only 1.25, when all the other fizzy drinks they sell are a whopping 1.35. I think they do some deals where you can get two for 2 pounds but i didn’t really want two drinks so i didn’t care. I was also supposed to do a review on Inr Bru so buying another drink would of been pointless. I also got a pizza and a ball of mozzarella which i added to the pizza. This was hands down the best idea i have ever had as it made the pizza really nice because i think the co-op uses rubbish cheese on their pizzas although they are still nice.

When i got home i more than likely cooked the pizza, or i might of saved it until later if i want hungry, i cant remember, but i will of put the mozzarella on it because thats quality. As for the Irn Bru it must of been fairly nice because i have drank it again since, even though it has a funny colour. We have Irn Bru in the fridge at work now as well so thats nice.

Coop Pizza

I have a new oven so now i can have pizza again, it heats up fairly fast so i had to turn it on and run to the shop to buy the pizza really fast just incase i set the house on fire.

When i got to the shop i was pretty happy because the pizza was out of date so it had been discounted to £2.85 so i could get a bottle of doctor pepper too without having to get any more money from the bank.

I had to run back home again but the house wasn’t on fire so that was good but i still had to take all the sweetcorn off which is a con, a mean its a meat feast pizza that some idiot thought would be a good idea to put sweetcorn on then make me pick it off. But you can just put all the sweet corn in the plastic pizza wrap so you don’t make a mess but you have to be careful not to get the good bits off too. The worst part is that even if you try really hard you cant get it all of and you will be eating it later when its cooked an you will take a bite and you KNOW you’ve just had some sweetcorn just like burgers if they I have gerkins on I can tell, even if i only take a little bite i can tell right away. I had a double cheeseburger at the weekend and they hid a gherkin between the two burgers and i accidentally took a little bite and couldnt eat the rest of the burger because it was horrible. If you ask me the only real vegetables are peppers because they go with everything (burgers and pizza included)

When i cooked it a put it on a plate so i could eat it. It tasted really good but i knew that already or i wouldn’t of bought it. The doctor pepper was nice too.

Good morning, i made a trip to Ukraine

Had my bag stolen before i got back on the plane!

The Embassy issued me with a temporary passport

But i have bills to settle and the hotel manager lends no support!

--

My flight will leave soon i fear

I hope to be on it, to be taken far away from here!

To do this i need your financial aid

Rest assured when i am home you will be repaid!

All i need is your bank account and sort code number

Best regards 

Inspired by http://shakespam.tumblr.com/

My name is Mr. Ali Adenum

I wish to establish a corporate brand

all over the business spectrum

although i don't have the funds at hand

What i ask from you is money to invest

In a mutually agreed marketing strategy

Is what i think would benefit us best

Original:

Hello,

1, Get some pink wafers (they sell them at pound stretcher)

2, Get some Philadelphia (they sell sell that in most shops but not pound stretcher)

3, Dip the wafer into the cheese (you could spread it to but that would take longer so its pointless)

4, Eat

Right, so i watched Gravity (the trailer) twice last night and i wasn't impressed. Basically its just this woman in space and she screams a lot. Now in Armageddon they are in space on a ASTEROID and they don't scream once. After this woman stopped screaming george clooney starts talking about something and this woman starts going on about something to do with her daughter but i didn't really care about that. Bruce Willis had a daughter in Armageddon and he blew up the asteroid! 

As far as i can tell this gravity woman is just floating around in space and is causing loads of stuff to get blown up for no reason, but in Armageddon they blow up the space station but in the end they save the world so thats ok. The other good thing about Armageddon is that they smash up some cities and that looks cool, in gravity they just smash up a few space stations and all the fancy camera angles in the world isn't going to make that  as cool as smashing whole cities.

To summarise, you should probably watch Armageddon because they destroy more interesting things, there are guns in space for some reason and there is a nuke. IF you watched gravity as far as i can tell you would just be watching some woman scream in space for 2 hours.

Dear Morrisons

Im writing to you in regard to your Meat Feast Stuffed Crust pizza. I like this Pizza but i feel there is one thing i must complain about. Im not going to complain about the way that the base is to thin and sometimes even falls apart because i don't really care about that. Im not also going to complain about the stupid way you display them, do you not realise that pizzas should be flat? i mean come on, when i buy a pizza and take it home i don't want to have to re-arrange the toppings, its supposed to be ready made not mostly ready made. As i said I'm not complaining about those things, even though i sort of have done i would like to complain about the cooking time, it takes up to 14 minutes to cook properly, but i have one of this ovens that takes like 10 minutes to heat up giving a total cooking time of 24 minutes! Now as a rule i won't eat anything that takes over 20 minutes to cook as i usually cant be bothered or will get bored and forget about it by then so you should count yourself lucky that  i even consider buying your pizza!

I consider myself a pizza conoseur so if you want me to test your pizzas i would be happy to test them, but i will not test them if they have any vegetable ones because i am not a hippy, unless the vegetables are peppers i love peppers.

in summary, please make your Meat Feast Stuffed Crust pizza 10 minutes to cook or less, failing that i would like an oven that does not take 10 minutes to heat up.

Thank you for your Time

David Wallbanks.

Here is a picture i took of a parking space labelled 'MINI'. However i doubt a mini could fit in. For reference that is a Fiat 500 parked on the right, to be honest though it might not be because im not very good at cars.

You may noticed i have used a latte filter on this picture, mostly because the picture is pretty dark without it.

If you would like to visit this space and see for yourself its in the sort of underground but not really part of Stafford Borough Council offices. But if you are planning on visiting go pretty soon as theyre probably going to knock it down.

Original picture available on request

Never seen it but i reckon its a love film or something like that so it will probably be boring, although it does say american in the title so it probably has some guns in, but if it was too romantic a few guns aren't really going to make it any better.

It also seems like the sort of film when the main woman character is proper banging but because its from the 80s she turned into a drug addict and died in some dirty hotel room.

First you need to go poundland, get some pot noodles, dont get the ko-lee ones because if you eat them for a whole week you will wake up on saturday hung over and smelling of sweaty noodles. Also get animal crackers, they are quality.

When you get back just do the noodles and put the pot on a plate. i had been experimenting with tipping them from the pot to a bowl to make it get cool quicker but every time i did i got water on my hands and burned myself and thats bad times.

finally put some animal crackers around the pot, you may notice i have only used 5 packs not 6, this is because i ate one on the way back already.

  Also get Irn Bru its only 49p

Right quality movie, even watched it twice now and i love it when he gets called asshole and goes crazy.

I liked it, i really liked it but it wasn't really Bioshock.

Story

Only thing bioshocky about the whole thing, basically without spoilers, is its some emotional / family thing when in the end you sort of win but not really. But its good and i liked it it was interesting even though i guessed part of it pretty much straight away.

Guns

Combat was pretty much all guns, didn't really bother using powers in this. The guns were ok but boring nothing interesting just all things you would see in a normal game with guns. Two sorts of grenade launcher a few machine guns blah blah blah. I wanted rivet guns, harpoons and crossbows. There was not one single point in the whole game where i could pin a whole group of enemies the wall and thats sad really. Or smash them in with a wrench or drill that would of been cool too.

Powers

Didn't really use them bit dull, used the fire one and electric one a bit. Best one was possession, it wasn't really that useful unless you used it on a turret but if you kept one enemy alive you could possess him so that when the spell wears off they kill themselves which was always funny. Best if you do it on the guys who just have clubs, they smash there heads in.

Enemies

All rubbish, nothing really tough like a big daddy or sister and all the normal enemies were pretty much just average people. The Splicers were cool because they were really crazy and they said crazy stuff going nuts when they attacked you using powers, but in this one its just normal people with guns. The special enemies are boring too, some flaming guy and some guy with crows.