el ángel gabriel

🤍 call him up, "come into my bedroom" ended up, we fuck on the hotel floor

gabe / gabriel גבריאל or goob . he/él 2006 eng/esp . pasifika jew : ci/nz māori, mā'ohi, kānaka maoli, tonga, אַשכּנז

estoy estudiando política, historia y español en uni. entiendo mucho de psicología también. soy izquierdista, pro 🇵🇸, anticolonialista. דאיקייט

i am into fandom shit and write fanfic, but most online fandoms are just too drama heavy opposed to actual fun stuff. all my work is still available on tumblr and any new stuff will be on ao3. i'll still post abt things i like, but idc for being like a part of the fandoms.

my blog will mention mental illness and topics associated. i don't see myself posting anything triggering, but if so it will have appropriate tags. i am a (semi) recovering drug addict so drugs will be mentioned. i have bipolar w psychosis (medicated), ocd, ptsd, cluster b pds, and ocpd traits.

regression blog: @hijodejoelyrobby nsfw/cw/yume: @babysbedside

"look, dad!" touya runs into the house, flames burning so hot they flicker into blue across his arms and chest. 

enji grumbles, but quickly his frown turns to fear as he turns to face his son. he jumps from where he's sitting, seeing the pain touya is failing to hide behind a wide smile. 

"touya!" enji yells, grabbing his son tight by the sides, "stop that! you're burning yourself!" he can see touya's skin pulling tight and bubbling under the flames and it's sending his heart racing.

"but-"

"no, buts," enji growls, shaking touya, "put it out now!" the pain and his dad yelling at him forces touya to stop. the flames die and touya starts to cry, breath hitching as his dad tries to assess the damage. before he can choke out how sorry he is, how he just wanted to make his dad proud, enji is lifting him up and heading to the bathroom. 

touya starts to babble out apologies as enji carries him, but they don't reach enji's ears. dead silent, he places touya down and grabs out a towel, laying it out on the tiles before grabbing three small towels. he turns on the tap for the sink, turning it to warm til it's cool, but not too cold, and dunks the small towels under the water, soaking them. he turns the tap off and snaps his fingers at touya, pointing to the towel. 

"lay down, now," he's no longer yelling, but his voice is firm. touya doesn't think, just laying down, still crying from the stinging pain of the burns. enji quickly places the towels over touya's chest and arms where the burns are and then slumps on the side of the bath, letting out a deep sigh. 

he closes his eyes and rubs his face before looking down at touya who's simply sniffling now, the wet towels easing his burns. 

"i know why you've been doing this," this is the closest todoroki enji has gotten to an admission of wrongdoing; he knows touya's burns are his fault, but he refuses to admit that, even to himself. "but you need to stop. you're hurting yourself, touya. i know you think you need to keep pushing yourself but you don't." enji's narrow eyes soften for once. "if you really want to keep training, we need to find a way to do it without you getting hurt every time." he shifts from the bath, kneeling down next touya, brushing his hair back. "but we do it together. no more training by yourself. you do it with me, son." although enji's words and his tone were staunch, demanding, his eyes were pleading with his son not to keep hurting himself. he can't bare to think of what his life would be like his first son died in his own flames. 

touya sniffles, the lingering pain from the burns reminding him that his dad is right, whether he wants to believe it or not. he nods. “okay, dad.” 

“i mean it,” enji tilts his head, “only practice with me and when i say it’s too much we stop, got it?” touya winces, trying to sit up, meeting his dad’s hand which gently pushes him back down. “please, touya.” 

touya freezes, shocked by his dad’s words. he rarely uses niceties so his words weigh heavy on his young heart. “i promise, dad. i won’t train without you and i’ll listen— i swear.” enji lets out a sigh and ruffles touya’s hair. 

“good,” he nods, “don’t move for another 15 minutes. we gotta make sure those burns don’t scar too bad.” touya rolls his eyes.

“but they’ll look cool,” touya kicks his feet.

“no, they won’t,” enji frowns. touya grumbles, but stays still, barring his regular fidgeting, till his dad takes the towels off. he pats touya down with a dry towel and grabs bandages from under the sink. 

“stay still for me,” enji wraps touya up gently in bandages, clenching his jaw as he covers the budding scars on his son’s body. after he wraps the dry towel around touya, trying to make sure the wet towels didn’t cool him down too much. enji scoops touya up, his son’s soft chuckle soothing his fear. 

placing touya down on his bed, enji grabs his son a soft shirt and helps him tug it over his head. he pauses before cupping touya’s face, leaning down to get as close to eye-level as his large stature allows. touya freezes, finding his dad’s comfort strange and unusual.

“don’t ever scare me like that again,” enji whispers, his voice rough as he tries to remain his composure, “i can’t lose you, son. don’t make me bury you. i don’t think i’ll survive that.” touya feels a small ache inside him at the thought of his own death, how his family would react, how his dad would react. 

“okay, dad,” he leans forwards and hugs his dad tight, “i promise.” enji wraps his arms around touya, tighter than he should, than he ever has. he holds touya’s head gently as they hug, needing to be reminded that his son is still here and still alive. he can’t trust the promise of a young boy whose mind is still so malleable, but he wants to badly. 

“i love you,” he mumbles, barely audible, but the magnitude of the statement is not lost on either of them. it’s not something enji says. 

“i love you too, dad,” touya smiles, unsure of how to feel about this new side of his dad, but comforted by his words and actions. he loves his dad and to know his dad loves him too, in his own way, means more to him than any praise or accomplishment. talents, skills, even the greatest heroes eventually lose their original charm, they get worn down by age. but love lasts through every pain, break, and long year.

despite enji’s behaviour, the hurt he’s caused, he loves his son. holding touya in his arms, the fear he just felt for him, and hearing his son reciprocate his love in spite of everything, reminds enji of what the actual point of fatherhood is. it’s about small moments like these where nothing matters than being the one thing that’s there for your kid when they need someone to hold them tight. it’s not why he became a dad, but it is the reason he's gonna remind himself of every day until it becomes second nature. touya needs him, fuyumi, natsuo, shotou, and rei, all need him to be better than he is right now. 

“i promise i’ll do better at showing it, touya,” enji presses a kiss to touya’s hair, relaxing his arms and letting his son move if he wants to. but he stays, tucked up against his dad, still hugging him. touya still feeling comfortable enough to hold him close makes enji’s eyes sting. 

“i know, dad,” touya pulls back and places a kiss on his dad’s forehead, “i know you just want me to be the best, just like you.” enji winces, shaking his head. 

“i want you to be the best you, you can be,” he sighs, “but not at the price of life, okay?” he gently pats over where the bandages are on touya’s chest. “i don’t ever want you to hurt yourself for me or anyone else, you hear me? you being alive and well is more important than all of that other stuff. i’m sorry i didn’t realise that until now.” touya doesn’t fully understand the weight of his dad’s words, but he can feel it. he nods, placing his hands on his dad’s shoulder. 

“promise i won’t hurt myself,” he smiles, trying to cheer his dad up. enji gives him a half-hearted smile.

“thank you, kiddo,” he pats touya’s cheek, using a nickname he’s heard other dad’s use with their son. it feels strange in his mouth, but he sees touya light up and the awkwardness is all worth it. touya bounces in spot, patting his dad’s shoulders. 

“you’re welcome, daddy,” he beams, “am i okay to go play now?” enji rolls his eyes, but smiles a little. 

“yeah, go on. just make sure you don’t aggravate your wounds— and no using your quirk,” he gives touya a stern look.