In The Pitt

So I have decided that it is Time, we have reached the point at which we must discuss my beloved: The Esophagus Parallel.

Yes you read that right. No it is not a typo. Yes I am entirely serious about this. No I have not UTTERLY lost my mind. only mostly.

Come, friends, all shall be revealed, I promise. In the words of season 1 Langdon: "I've got this. Trust me..."

We begin: at the end. By which I mean we're gonna start off by discussing: the end of Louie (RIP, bud, u will be missed) and thus, 2x06. Here, have a quotation so I have something to colour-code my way out of the distress and sadness:

2x06: Robby: Suction that tube. You're not in the esophagus, are you?Langdon: Definitely not. I passed right through the cords. Good breath sounds. End-Tidal CO2 confirmed.

Ah, look, behold: the esophagus in the esophagus parallel makes itself known! Now for the other half, let us saunter gayly back in time to 1x13 and the MCI and remind ourselves of this little nugget (keeping that esophagus in mind. And also mind: them cords.)

1x13 Langdon: But if you hit the esophagus, he's toast.You told us never to pass a tube unless we see the vocal cords.

Oh, I love it when a parallel comes together. There now, you see? You SEE!!!! No? Still just me??? Okay listen up, people, there are dots here and I have connected them!!! Let me explain:

The esophagus parallel maatteeerrrssss okay!!! It matters because Robby is: the 'intubation/airway expert'. That's his THING!!! (and is the kind of accepted ER speciality (Garcia has a line abt this, in 1x09 “You guys are supposed to be the airway experts”. That’s their thing, their ‘special sauce’ - if the ED can do one damn thing (as far as the other departments are concerned) it is, at the very least: securing a damn airway.

Robby has at LEAST 3 crazy ass MacGyver moves on display in the airway department and they're all intubation based (tactile intubation (the aforementioned 1x13 one), retrograde intubation (on tonsillectomy kid in 1x05), and bubble intubation (1x12 - chest compression makes bubble that you can see and follow down into the airway when the chest is full of blood. At which point we also get the iconic Robby line of: "More than one way to tube a cat." (there may very well be/likely are more of these - these are the only ones I recall from memory rn and I’m on a roll so I ain’t stopping to go look for more - I think we get the point).

And all of this is important because: this is what he's taught Frank (and his other ducklings). "You told us never to pass a tube unless we see the vocal cords." "Correct." (and then something something - Robby shattering Frank's entire worldview/the foundation upon which his world turns by being like 'Not today' bc MCI - BUT THAT'S A SEPARATE RANT OKAY, WHICH I WILL GET TO (ask me to write meta on any random line (relating to Frank) of this show and I bet I can pull something out of my ass for it…)

Because this is - this is one of THE foundational lessons/things that he's taught Frank and others. It's how to secure an airway. And: not going in the fucking esophagus is fairly goddamn basic/the 101 of tubing someone: go down the right fukin' tube. 

So when he @'s Frank and is like 'ur not in the esophagus r u?' he remembers, as we remember (and by ‘we’ i mean: ‘my obsessed ass and it alone’) that conversation ‘you told us never to pass a tube unless we see the vocal cords’ - that lesson - that bit of information that Robby gave Frank - his mentee, his protégé, his heir apparent, his BEST resident. 

And theres' an element of....like Robby knows, Robby HAS to know that Frank is: NOT in the fucking esophagus. Because 3 seconds earlier, the respiratory therapist Carrie says: “Good square line on the End-Tidal CO2.”

Even my medically uneducated ass knows that means: we have a successful intubation here people! So Robby DEFINITELY does. This is not about mechanics or him actually asking/checking Frank has done this right - this is him trying to blame Frank, and HIMSELF, as the one who taught and made Frank - for Louie's death.

Because if Frank has fucked up this Most Basic Of Things. THE Most Basic Of Things in the airway department - the thing Robby's supposed to be best at - the thing Robby taught him - then it's his fault, too. It’s a repeat of him failing Langdon in terms of the benzos. Everything comes back to him and how he’s failed Langdon and this moment right here, Louie’s death, that’s going to prove it all over again.

"I taught you this - and you fucked it up/didn't learn it right - this is your fault and therefore it’s also my fault. Because you are me, my mirror, my creation - the one that I made to be better than me. and you failed. Because I failed. Prove that to me now. Let me see myself in you and let me hate what I see, let me see failure and let me despise it, let you make a mistake and let it be mine, one more thing to carry, one more ghost to bury in the graveyard."

And Frank says: No. 

Frank says: I am absolutely NOT in the esophagus. And I NEVER fucking stand up for myself. Ever. Not with you. Not with Dana. Not with Santos. Not with Whitaker. Not with anyone. Ever. I was saying 5 minutes ago that maybe my line was sloppy? Maybe I can have fucked up instead of have this patient be seriously ill. I'm going to be having a breakdown in a few hours wondering if I've lost anything I ever had at this job. But right now? Right now I am telling you again: trust me, I've got this. Because you taught me this - and you taught me well. And I can't stand up for myself - but I can stand up for you. Even the you that you see in me. 

He's confident. He's certain. He doesn't question himself. He doesn't waver. He backs himself. He says no. Definitely not. How do I know? Because I did what you taught me to do: I saw cords, I passed right through them into the lungs. We have good breath sounds. End tidal confirmed. I did it. I did what you taught me the way you taught me to do it and I did it right.

In the past I failed and I fucked up - and maybe you did, too. But not in this. You did right by me in so many ways. You made me the doctor I am today. You made me your best resident. I was; I am a good fucking doctor. And I will not let you see anything else in this mirror. I will show you yourself and it will not be a version you can so easily hate - because it reflects the truth of what is here, not what you want to see.

1. create two gifs.

you’re going to start by creating two entirely separate gifs. when you’re blending, i find that it is typically easier if you can get two types of shots (mid, far, close up, that kind of thing) because it makes it easier to blend later on.

here we can see robin is kind of more of a mid shot on the right, but the left shot is zoomed in on her face to make it the focus.

from here, ensure your gifs have the same amount of frames and layers. you can delete the excess frames + layers to get them at the same amount. (eg. one gif had 42 frames, and the other 15, so i selected every layer + frame past 15 and deleted them.)

2. combining your gifs.

this is where it can all get a little hairy quick !! start by selecting all your layers, and putting them in a group. you can then rename that group so you can tell them apart when you duplicate them. then, select all your frames, change the frame delay to 0.05 and go from there.

now, pay attention to this bit. you’re going to take ONE gif over to the other. to do that, click on the four lines i highlighted up ^^ and go to copy frames. make sure all your frames are still selected. then, go to the gif we’re going to place the other gif on, and go to those same four lines but press ‘paste frames’ this time. this menu will come up:

click the exact same one i have highlighted, then press ‘okay’. now, your frames and layers have copied over. you should have two folders, and the gif you were copying will probably be the only one you see, but don’t worry ! your other gif is just underneath. 

3. blending your gifs.

this part differs for each creator, but here’s how i do it. select the top layer that you want to blend in, and open this dropdown menu:

you’ll want to select either ‘lighten’ or ‘screen’. choose whichever looks better. your gif will now look like this:

so now we’re going to blend ! 

because of the negative space behind robin in the gif underneath, i’m going to try and move the top gif into it. how you blend and where is kind of down to just a visual thing. so, i’ll move my layers into that space and then i’ll properly begin blending.

now that i moved both of my gifs it leaves these pesky lines behind:

to blend them out, do the following:

select the folder itself. go down to this bottom bar, and select the circled icon (it’s a layer mask):

now, you have a layer mask. to use it, go over to your brush colours on the side bar (pictured below)

and make sure it’s on black. if it isn’t, you won’t be able to blend. after this, go to the gradient tool (in between the rubber and the blur tool on that same sidebar) and make sure your gradient looks similar to this:

if you need to change it, click on that gradient, go to basics, go the one with the checkers and change the colours to black. now, go back to your layer mask, making sure that your gradient tool is selected and create little increments going across that line. make sure you work horizontally, otherwise it’ll blend your gif away.

then, just keep doing that until you’re getting results you’re happy with. i’ve done a layer mask on both layers, and i’ll show you a tip in case you need to do that as well. but for now, do a rough blend with the gradient tool. 

after that, go to the brush tool, and change your brush to a soft round brush, probably on 75-100. you can brush over spots you want to blend, as it allows you to be more particular.

this is what my gif looks like now:

from here, you colour each gif in their respective folders, convert to timeline -> convert to smart object, sharpen and save !! this is my final result: