Because I've talked lately about how important it is to read deeply to actually understand him, but I definitely didn't do that on my first read. He was absolutely as confusing and weird to me as to any of the ppl that hate on him, I just. didn't feel the same despite seeing the same picture.

And after mulling this over, I think this is due to his character soothing a very particular anxiety for me. As a mentally ill neurodivergent person - and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one of those who feel this way - I have definitely wondered at times if I was much more difficult to love than ye average neurotypical. Not in the way of mental illness making one feel unlovable (though dam it sure does that.), but more in the "woah my symptoms are sure a handful to deal with, hard to imagine someone would sign up to do all that work on a life partnership scale" way.

And you see, in media you definitely get (positively portrayed) characters who have a similar problem. But the authors don't really... manage to portray those characters' concerns as having weight. Because they shy away from making those characters symptoms, well, too problematic - lest they actually become unlovable for the audience.

MXTX, however, goes full throttle with Luo Binghe. He's undeniably, glaringly difficult. He does so many things that he really shouldnt have (that he instantly regrets, actually), quite a few of those hurting the person he loves. He gets in his head so much he nearly causes an apocalyptic event over that person saying 'uh-huh' to someone else without even meaning it. He needs constant reassurances. "A handful" doesn't begin to describe him.

And... throughout all of that, he is loved. We are in the head of a guy who loves him. Who gets exasperated, and doesn't understand, and goes through a lot of shit because of Luo Binghe - and yet never stops just, loving him and caring about him, whatever happens.

So Luo Binghe is someone who is genuinely difficult to love - portrayed so without pulling any punches. Definitely more difficult than an average nd guy like me or u. But. He is portrayed as deserving of - and receiving - unconditional, boundless, and eventually commited love anyway. Even when it is actually, forgive the overused quote, rotten work.

He gets to have that.

This sorta thing is exactly why I say that not only is Luo Binghe the protagonist, the villain, and the love interest of his story, but Shen Qingqiu is also the protagonist, the villain, and the love interest of the story

he's the protagonist around whom the world turns. he's the villain who causes most of the narrative's problems. he's the otherworldly lover who loves without limits.

Other Peak Lords: clearly Shen QIngqiu has experienced some kind of major internal shift but we checked him for possession and that all came up negative, so the only reasonable conclusion is that sometimes brain damage is beneficial? we guess???

Luo Binghe: Shizun's attitude towards me has changed completely. I must have finally passed some hidden, secret test that he laid out and proven myself worthy. I must never make another mistake and risk losing his regard again

Like, Xiu Ya is going to fight the system throughout but SY just misses every single hint while a sword and computer are having a cartoon dust cloud fight in the background. How dare you take new friend away? I just found that! Do you have any idea how many worlds I needed to dig through? It was a lot!

Then there's some wifeplot that Xiu Ya doesn't want to deal with so the ability is revealed. This whole time Xin Mo had an equal in ability and power, that sword just decided SY!SQQ had it and couldn't be bothered. Like a lazy cat watching a mouse steal its food.

Xiu Ya has a Type and while it might seem to be bitchy snarky dudes, it's actually bookworms with many many problems. It enjoys being admired for its elegance and showing off from time to time, but ultimately prefers to just laze around, getting polished by some beautiful man with a laundry list of issues.

have this old ranshin sketch too.........