having a crush is wrong and isn’t natural

the results came back: the doctor says the beating of my heart echoes the beating of the drums

imagine you are fbi agents trying to nail down the biggest case of your career and you just can't stop running up against college athletes who you need as witnesses but they won't take your help and just keep saying "but, ball is life??" when you suggest they go into witness protection

Beating the alcoholic allegations by easily plugging my phone into the charger with no struggle at all

aftg but is set in 2024 and Neil doesn't pick up the phone when lola calls because he was watching an Andrew Minyard edit on tiktok

So when Jesus rises from his grave everyone rejoices and it becomes a holiday but when I, Count Dracula-

writing a garbage essay feels like you’re the cow who gave birth to the two headed calf. in the morning, my professor will wrap him in newspaper and dissect him on a cold operating table. but here he is alive, under the pale glow of my computer screen. he is beautiful. there are twice as many logical fallacies as usual.