Halfhearted Procrastination

Hi studyblr, I'm back!

I started Master's programme in Art studies this semester after a three year gap. During that I worked and studied for my current field (and suffered in the pandemic with others), which is in Film and Television studies. I teach in another university in design faculty and I'm an artist, too.

Here I'd like to share some of my journey to complete my Master's thesis and how I juggle the academic life and mental health. I love good dark coffee and my current fixation are almond croissants. Nice to meet you!

i missed doing these, i only did a couple earlier this year but looking back at them it's really nice. it also makes it obvious that when there is no time to reflect and plan, it's already fucked and i should take a step back - note to self or whatever.

since passed my first hebrew midterms rather easily, i'm excited to learn more in this next block! more people have signed up, but the professor's small office seems to fit all of us if we cram a little :) i love the fall weather, with the low sun or early evenings in the city ✨

i went to a concert with my sis in law and her weird ass sister! and got drunk for the first time in so long ~ i miss being out and about like that so much

🧑‍🎓 Next week the new block starts, but I will only be taking Character Design. I'll be doing the same for the rest of the year, only taking the 5EC courses and leaving the rest for next year.

🧑‍🎓 as for my PROJECT! it's going!! The head in neat layers (to the best of my abilities) imported into live2d, where I am ALMOST done prepping art meshes and warp deformers. I found a lot of good movement references for the features I want, and have a gameplan :) I started sketching the body out a bit better too, but that's not a priority at all.

My Sifu has been bombarding me with ideas for the model since I showed him my progress (unprovoked but certainly welcome), and he seems like a perfect client - regardless of him being broke. Alas, I'll need to rig it first, and only then dream on.

📹 I've been screen-recording the process, and I'm setting up a youtube channel and cleaning my dev-blog here. I've always wanted to make videos and share, but figured I'd never do so if I don't start now. Besides, people have been asking where they can follow my work so I need a link to send ^^'

🧑‍🎨 I'll also be sharing about my drawing goal there! The first month is almost over, and apart from the plan's figure drawing and perspective exercises, this week I did a few slightly longer drawings as well. For variety!

Today I wanted to share some tips on how to make studying easier despite mental illness. I chose to mention anxiety and depression specifically because it’s what I have experience with.

Give yourself time -I know this one is easier said than done, especially when your illness makes you procrastinate. But this will help you fight overwhelm so much I promise. Try to start doing things as soon as you can. Talk yourself into starting. Just starting, nothing more.

Divide tasks into smaller chunks -If you give yourself time, then you can work small piece by piece. Writing 10 page essay is overwhelming as hell but knowing you have to write a few words per day or just do research will help you dial the feelings down a bit.

Just start -Tell yourself you have to do this just for 5 minutes. Just 5 minutes. Nothing bad can happen to you in 5 minutes. This will get you started and once you’re in it and going, you should be able to continue for a lot longer.

Something is better than nothing -You might not be able to memorise all 20 pages or write the entire essay right now, but if you start and learn one page or write half a page, you’re already moving forward.

Done is what we’re going for -Just get it done. Not perfect, not even good. Just done. Because sometimes it’s the best thing you can do for yourself.

It’s never as important as it seems -Things always seem huge and scary but ultimately, it’s never that bad. Hell, if you really zoom out you’ll realise the most important thing is just staying alive and a bad grade isn’t going to kill you.

Priotitize -Sometimes you just won’t have the energy to do everything, so pick the most important ones and leave the rest. You might come back to it later, you might not.

Ask for help if you need it -Ask teachers, ask friends. Know you’re not alone.

Be kind to yourself -Do not beat yourself up over failing things or feeling like you’re not doing as well as others. Just realise that unlike healthy people, you’re dragging this huge boulder. Sometimes lighter, sometimes heavier, but it’s always an extra weight. And yet you’re running the same race and you’re surviving. You should be proud of yourself.

Relax properly -Make time for yourself. Do things that doesn’t involve mindless scrolling. Get all the rest you need.