FRANCO

How you forgave him one day, even before he was incarcerated

It’s almost as if you woke up and let the years of neglect leave your body

What happened to the years of investing

The promises of always, i love you, and “best”

The moments we looked forward to

It faded quickly and I hope your heart is okay

Why would the power of humxn touch and sharing physicality ever make you think it was more?

If i’ve been home this entire time

In my soul

In my solitude

And in my body

There’s a universe inside me

Not only for herself, but for her children

I was never meant to be learned from

I was meant to build with

If I were to seek closure from you, you’d think I was crazy

I would run to your house with an entire banana cream pie

knock on your door and tell you we need to talk

I’d ask you to turn off the tv, make coffee

And talk about your feelings

Our feelings

Why it didn’t work

Why you never replied

Analyzing all the details

Up until I finally. Finally understand that it had nothing to do with me

That it was a personal issue

Something you chose to walk away from. It was something about yourself.

When I finally learn to not take it personal

When I finally learn that the world doesn’t stop for me at any point

When I finally fully and deeply understand it in my heart, that no one owes me anything

Maybe that’s when I will heal

When I learn that not even past lovers owe me closure

transitions are hard. moving out of my apartment makes me feel sick. moving always makes me feel sick because of the time i moved from my first place

seeing two friendships go. seeing who my friends are. it hurt that you didn’t come to graduation, but it’s not about me. it’s a bigger issue within yourself. 

the painful relationship that i have with my mom. and how raw and honest i was. i feel like a terrible daughter. i am unhappy with this relationship, and im trying to make peace with it too

then there’s you, and how this wasn’t supposed to become something, but it kinda did and now im confused and feelings suck. 

saying goodbye to my therapist of 2 years. she has helped me grow so much and has empowered me so much