oo ee oo i look just like baby pupy

When i met u in the summer

please dont vape your blueberry ice flavor around my kid. we are raising him on marlboro reds exclusively.

(voice of a person spiralling) its embarrassing but i still havent figured out if its ok for me to be alive

every chapter of deltarune has a secret npc who only appears if you leave and re-enter the room 1225 times while you have a bagel in your seventh inventory slot and the npc is a sentient doorknob and when you talk to them the music cuts out and they’re like “who’s that whispering in the trees, it’s two sailors and they’re on leave, pipes and chains and swinging hands, who’s your daddy, yes i am” and then within four hours there’s a thirty minute long video on youtube titled “ASGORE IS FRIEND??? DADDY THEORY EXPLAINED” and it already has 100,000 views and then a year later people call the next chapter disappointing because it was focusing too much on developing the main characters instead of explaining the doorknob guy

*eating balsamic that’s too strong* they laced my shit grand son

i've got the kind of eyebags that make people in movies say 'you look like hell, detective. go home.'