Grool

another run through the washer will fix me

girl i shrunk

can you imagine being 26 years old and in marketing and you want to settle down with a rich stupid man who’s crazy about you and you FIND a divorcee who hasn’t talked to his ex in over a decade and has a very forgiving custody arrangement that would easily enable boarding school and is willing to MARRY you after a SIX TO EIGHT WEEK SUMMER ROMANCE with NO PRENUP and then his brat kid comes back from summer camp and it turns out his ESTRANGED OTHER TWIN DAUGHTER came back from camp and they hijack your entire life and put a lizard on you and then your hot old man ditches you for his hot mess of an ex WHO DESIGNED… THE CUSTOM WEDDING DRESS YOU HAD ALREADY PAID FOR. truly. a roller coaster summer…. all that scheming WASTED

its a cold and its a broken bababooie

:) (threateningly)

alright, ill bite. whats cum

A Latin word that generally translates as “with”, such as the phrase summa cum laude, meaning “With highest praise.”

haha i cum real laude all the time

might fuck around and walk into a thick fog and never return idk

I think about this everyday

#watching this monkey peel of the stringy bits#drop them on the baby’s head#meticulously remove them#and clean off the stump#then wolf down that banana#is just really great#like a fussy little person