bunny bunny

i really needed Shane in Ilya’s Ottawa jersey. exactly in this position

After a while of talking about how Anya acts the trainer says there’s nothing to worry about, Anya likes Shane just fine, it’s just that she sees him as the boss and is acting accordingly

And Ilya is like. But. I’m the one who adopted her? And raised her before Shane got here?? And the trainer is just like yeah well she sees you more like an equal. And Ilya is like WAIT she thinks Shane is in charge of both of us?? And the trainer is just like well do you interact in a way that would make her think that?

Ilya’s life flashes before his eyes as he thinks of all the times Shane has come over with a snack for Ilya and a treat for Anya, or all the times Shane has announced they’re all going for an after dinner walk, or pets Ilya’s hair and tells him he did a good job at practice, or the fact that he uses the same warning tone with Anya when she misbehaves as he does with Ilya when he’s causing problems on purpose

He’s cold. He’s still half asleep, one eye half open and his hand blindly starts patting around the bed, empty sheets. He groans and rolls over towards the right side of the bed, arm out still searching.

He smiles when he finds warm naked skin, flattens his hand and slides it up and realises he’s grasping at Shane’s flank, the smooth skin of his side. He’s so fucking warm and lovely. Ilya groans and gets his other hand to reach for Shane too, using his grip to pull Shane back, towards his body. Shane makes a soft squeaking sound, a grunt and Ilya wraps both arms around Shane’s body, pulling him in, jostling Shane until Ilya is sprawled on his back with Shane up on his chest.

“What’ssit?” Shane grumbles into Ilya’s neck, squirming as he finds a comfy spot on top of Ilya, face shoved into his neck. His hand lays flat on Ilya’s chest and Ilya sighs, smiles, content. Better, much better. Ilya’s hand slides down to wrap around Shane’s waist, fingers wrapped around where it pulls in. Ilya’s other hand grasps the covers, pulls them up from where he’d disturbed them, tucks them up around Shane’s shoulders.

“What’s? Are you okay?” Shane asks, words all jumbled together against Ilya’s jaw, lips and exhale warm. His hand slips up from Ilya’s chest to cup his face, his big warm hand cupping Ilya’s cheek, thumb dragging back and forth slowly.

“You were very far” Ilya whispers, dances his finger tips along Shane’s lower back, senseless little shapes.

“Woke up alone” Ilya huffs, pouts into Shane’s hair and nuzzles his nose against Shane’s scalp, the smell of him comforting.

“Oh” Shane sighs and breaths slow and heavy and Ilya wonders if he’s fallen back to sleep but then.

“Sorry” he turns his head to press a half kiss against Ilya’s chest, thumb resuming petting over Ilya’s cheek

“You just come get me” Shane whispers, snuggles himself into Ilya like he can get closer, socked foot rubbing slow lines up and down Ilya’s calf, occasional breaks of his toes pulsing against the muscle before he resumes their rubbing.

“Okay?” Shane asks when Ilya doesn’t reply, voice fuzzy with sleep.

“Yes, of course” Ilya replies, shoves his smile into Shane’s silk soft hair, drags his face down to kiss at Shane’s ear, hand flat now rubbing wide circles over his back.

“ ‘Kay” Shane replies with a happy sigh and he presses into Ilya, hand still cupping his face, his nose pressed to Ilya’s cheek.

Heated Rivalry — 1x06 ⤷ PHONE BLOWJOB

(sources below)

And Ilya is like "No I'm out for drinks with the guys. Did you not see that we won, Hollander?"

And Shane texts back like "Of course I saw, that's why I'm texting." Then a few seconds later: "Download this app right now. Be discreet." with an app store link. And Ilya texts back like '??? 🤨 Shane, have you been hacked?'

And Shane is like 'Just download the fucking app, asshole. This is your reward. Username is Jane2481. Fucking HURRY.'

look cool look cool look cool look cool -- don't freak him out don't freak him out don't -- kiss him but not the way you want kiss him but not the way you want -- god he's so perfect he's so perfect fuck my life -- pretend to be normal about him-- fuck, he's so perfect

and then

So he gets a tutor. He meticulously researches her (she's from Moscow, so he'll learn from someone with Ilya's same accent). She's signed to more NDAs than he can count. She has 10 years of experience, she's certified to teach English and Russian, and she has 4.8 stars on MyTutor.

Shane pays her a frankly concerning amount of money to make house calls. Twice weekly, unless he's on the road, she arrives at his apartment to teach him foundational Russian. She gives him workbooks, Russia cartoon recommendation, podcasts for beginners, etc. He tells her he's learning because his boyfriend is Russian and she outlines a course that focuses on domestic language first (as opposed to travel or business). She even teaches him what she calls a 'culture course' with lessons on Russian music, food, and various traditions.

She's only a few years older than Shane and he actually finds himself looking forward to her visits. At this point, she's the only person other than his parents that knows he has a boyfriend.

About 4 months in, Shane finally feels comfortable enough to ask about what he'd been very excited about learning.

"You want me to teach you how to talk dirty to your boyfriend?" Ekaterina raised an eyebrow.

"Um," Shane blushed. Was this a little too far? Was this inappropriate to ask of a tutor? "Yes? If - If that's okay, I mean."

A slow smirk spread over her face. "This will be fun. Fun for me, now. Fun for you, later."

"I made a list," Shane admitted. He wasn't going to back out now, he put a lot of thought into his list. He turned to it in his Russian notebook and handed it to her.

She scanned over it indifferently. "You will use all this in one night?"

"Yeah, probably. Is it too much?"

"It is good you have a Russian man," Ekaterina said. "They have good stamina. Mostly, anyway."

And while it was a little embarrassing for Ekaterina to correct his pronunciation of please let me suck your cock, it helped that she seemed just as comfortable with that as there is tea on the stove.

Eddie comes off stage and immediately pulls Tiktok up on his phone so he can watch the latest part in Robin's ongoing series, Texts from my Best Friend: A Dramatic Reading

Robin (as Steve): Hey, can I send you a picture of my dick and/or balls without you being weird about it?

Robin (as Robin) Uhhh, no???? I'm going to be extremely weird about it. Why would you do that????

Robin (as Steve): Oh!

Robin (as Steve): LOL. I meant to send that to someone else

Robin (as Robin): Who???!

Robin (as Robin): And why?????

Robin (as Robin): Stop leaving me on read, asshole.

Robin (as Robin): Steeeeeeeeeb!

Eddie (typing in the comments with no intention of hitting send): He can send his pics to me

Eddie: *hits sends for some fucking reason*

Eddie: *doesn't know how to delete comments*

Eddie: *panicking*

Robin: Yeah, I bet you would like that. Stalker.