Living Or Surviving

I had to kill a lot of parts of myself to kill this sadness. I am sorry you turned out to be one.

Let’s get drunk at midnight, listen to our favorite songs and kiss so much that our lips burn

But I swear, you find the best things when you’re not looking for them.

Please think of me as the loveliest dream you will ever have and hold me, love me like I am the one and only reality you will ever live in.

She won’t be me. She won’t sit in the car for an extra three minutes just to finish the song. She won’t hoard words and scribble them in the corners of post-its hidden around the house for you. She won’t actually laugh when she types out “lol” or even crack a smile. She doesn’t stare at the stars and drink black coffee like it’s the only thing keeping her alive. She doesn’t get excited over the smallest things like space and puppies. She won’t eagerly run up to you and attack you in a hug, even though she saw you yesterday or kiss you like it’s the first time every time. She’s not me, but you’ll wish she were.

I hope my absence hits you. I hope it hits you so hard that you can never get back up.

Pain doesn’t just show up in our lives for no reason. It’s a sign that something in our life needs to change.

There are some people you’ll never see again. At least, not in the same way