state of ren

when e.e. cummings said “i’ll live my life if it kills me”

when andrea gibson said “i suppose i love this life, in spite of my clenched fist.” & when ellen bass said "to love life, to love it even when you have no stomach for it”

crazy how every time you go on a walk it’s like ohh that’s why i’m alive

Do you ever feel like you’re missing out on so much just because of being who you are and not someone else? Whenever I see a beautiful girl I wonder how it must feel to be that beautiful and if I’ll ever feel like that. Or when I see someone who’s confident and extroverted and I imagine how nice and easy it must be to be that way. Or when I see someone that’s my age who has already accomplished so much or been in so many places and experienced so many things, I can’t help but feel like time is falling from my hands like sand and I’m not getting better or going anywhere. I grew up watching movies and reading stories that made me believe that life was supposed to be constantly exciting and I haven’t felt that way many times and I just feel so stuck being myself. I wish I could be someone else for a while.