the very first night // tis the damn season

Taylor Swift really said “oh, this private life you’ve been watching? Yeah, its never not a performance from inside my fish bowl!” when she blew this popsicle stand.

“The only way for me to disappear (even while in said endless fishbowl that my life has become) is for me to envelop myself in this lavender haze.”

(Which she tells us is synonymous with her melancholia… so, sometimes that haze can loom over her as persistent sadness and ill-founded fears…)

But Taylor has been telling us that despite the sadness, fear, and sense of doom that comes with it, being with her star-crossed lover is the only shade of blue for her.

And gang, she recently framed this singular blue for us. It’s a “midnight blue,” according to Taylor.

Everyone lost their minds after she said the glitter puke and blood in the “Anti-hero” music video is “midnight blue,” but it wasn’t exactly just gaslighting.

It’s Taylor meditating on a theme in her life and art—a blue, a sadness,a melancholia that she feels most deeply in the dead of night, lying awake wondering about love, life, and who she is.

It’s also a blue in which she is submerged, in a fishbowl, in a haze, that is the only thing she really believes in despite the big hoax surrounding her (the idea that her lover’s love is faithless being the “Hoax”).

It’s the “true blue” of someone who knows her for her, is loyal, and dives into this life with her despite it all.

It’s the true blue she bleeds and the true blue that pours out when she spills her guts or the walls come down.

And it’s lavender.

Meet me at midnight…

…for the Lavender Haze music video premiere (!!!!!!!!!!!!!)