nadoᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

You think you'd be accustomed to weird things happening to you, considering you developed superhuman abilities after being bitten by a radioactive spider and becoming a superhero, but I doubt being randomly transported to a world where magic and dragons existed was on your list of weird things to expect.

Unsurprisingly, the first of the bunch to discover your superpowers was none other than Grim, after the whole entrance ceremony disaster you two were forced to spend 99% of your time with each other, seeing as you were forced to live together since there was nowhere else for either of you to go other than the damp, cobweb infested, haunted old building that Crowley generously bestowed you. In all honesty, Grim wasn't that quick to notice any of your unique abilities; you didn't exactly need to use them as there wasn't really a need, plus it wasn't like Grim was the most observant 'person' out there.

I mean, Grim always knew you weren't entirely normal! So what if you were pretty agile and swift despite your... lacklustre apperances? You were probably just athletic back in your world!

So maybe you kept a bottle of baby powder on hand at all times- that's probably just... uh, okay that one's weird. Okay, so you're a little weird, but hey! Who isn't in a world like this? Besides, it was easy to keep him from asking questions when you were both being slaved away by a certain neglectful headmaster.

It was on that one fateful morning that he found out, where you both had slept in way too late and had barely 15 minutes to get to class. It took a damn lifetime to get from Ramshackle to the main building, not including time to brush your teeth and get dressed- you two were already on Professor Crewel's bad side with how often you were late already, not to mention how jaw-droppingly appalling the state of your current grades were, thanks to Grim bringing your joint status as one student down.

So, with no other option in sight, you simply slung Grim over your shoulder like a ragdoll, told him to hang on tight, and before he could even ask any questions in his still groggy state, you were up in the air, slinging white ropes from your wrist and swinging from building to building. It was honestly a miracle no one noticed you, or Grim- who was screaming, crying and throwing up the whole way to class, luckily you two made it to class with just a minute to spare before class began, and were greeted by an unimpressed glare from your professor with no further comment and your two favourite people; Ace and Deuce, who were confused as to why Grim looked like he was about to throw up his breakfast, lunch, dinner and dessert.

"Uh, Grim? You okay there buddy?" Ace whispered as the lesson began- trying to be discreet as possible, fearing worse than an unimpressed glare from Crewel, but visibly concerned for his feline friend who seemed to be as limp as a sack of potatoes, unable to properly hold his head up.

Grim simply groaned in response. Fur messy and collar crooked, the furball sat in his seat unable to even focus on the textbook infront of him, expression still twisted like he was about to hack up a hairball.

"He's fine." You quickly interjected, trying to shush your friends, suddenly very interesting in learning.

-------------

"Whaddya mean Grimbo? Yuu doesn't have a single bit of magic, there's no way Yuu'd be able to fly!" One ghost tried to make sense of what Grim was saying- Yuu? Flying? Slinging ropes? Did Jade feed him those weird mushrooms again?

"I'm telling ya! They were literally flying using these white ropes from their hands!- show 'em Yuu! Show em what ya did earlier!" Grim scoffed before turning to you expectantly, defending his sanity; he knew what he saw and experienced was real, considering he almost threw up in the middle of class. Grim stared at you, as did the Ramshackle ghosts, expecting you to finally fess up about whatever mysterious secret you've been hiding from him of all people, your closest companion!

"Okay, okay- I've been... kind of lying to you guys..." You confessed to your dormmates, "I didn't tell you guys sooner because, well, I didn't think I needed to- plus," you slowly rose to your feet from the Ramshackle sofa, looking nervous- was this your coming out? Your dormmates stared at you with anticipation.

"I guess I got kinda used to keeping it hidden, I wasn't trying to hide anything from you guys it's just- I mean- it's not like I had a use for 'em here, other than to get to class quicker today! I- it's probably better if I just show you guys..."

You stood infront of your dormmates and in one swift motion opened your jumper, revealing a latex like suit underneath your clothing- with a bold spider symbol right in the middle. "I'm SpiderYuu."

And the crowd goes... Completely silent, with shared looks of confusion. This was not what you were expecting, and neither were they, clearly.

...Oh right, you kinda forgot they don't have any superheros in this dimension and the whole wizards and great seven nonsense, maybe you were too used to holding people's babies, giving apology videos without ukuleles and signing autographs.

After a long, awkward pause the first thing you got was-

"So you're not coming out yet?"

"Is this like when you dress up as your favourite character?"

"...Are you just wearing that under your uniform all the time?"

And most importantly-

"What's a SpiderYuu...?"

...

Yeah so it turned out you didn't secretly have magic or anything like that. After a painfully long pause, you awkwardly explained to Grim and your ghost buddies that you were infact a crime fighter of sorts back in your world. You also explained that you were bitten by a radioactive spider and became your world's one and only SpiderYuu, which you had to explain was your superhero persona.

The Ramshackle ghosts were surprised by this, but nowhere near as surprised as Grim.

You? A superhero? You? Are you being serious? No offence of course... It would explain a lot about your selfless character, but he's more shocked you had the balls to be fighting bad guys when you barely had the balls to look Professor Crewell in the eyes when coming to class late. After the initial shock passed, you can best believe he was about to flaunt the fact his henchman and roomie was a superhero- that was until you told him you had to keep your identity a secret. Bummer, but whatever. He understands.

Since you're his henchman, of course he's going to take advantage of your abilities- well, in his words, make sure there is reciprocity within your dynamic of two individuals of varying power. Naturally, swinging to class is now your go to. I mean you, get the perks of sleeping late and still show up to class on time; you're still failing alchemy and barely passing history, but atleast your punctuality isn't as atrocious. Oh, and of course the Ramshackle ghosts didn't love you any less! You're still their silly little dormmate, only now they knew you could climb walls and swing around- so really nothing changed in that aspect, in all honesty nothing about your grand reveal changed your dynamic with your dormmates, in a way they weren't entirely surprised considering you were magically spawned in from another (Yu)universe.

Shockingly, none of your classmates noticed, not instantly or visibly atleast- one of the many perks of having plot armour! But just because your classmates didn't notice, didn't mean no one else noticed at all.

Lucius. The infamous feline companion of everyone's favourite history teacher, was infact the first to take notice of the magicless Ramshackle Prefect crawling on walls and swinging from building to building each morning to get to class from his comfy seat on one of the classroom windows. There's a reason why he's Trien's lookout for sleeping students in class y'know? And of course, if Lucius knew, Trien knew. (Snitch)

You gave a sigh of relief as class finally came to an end, your knees cracked in relief and and suddenly sleep was no longer weighing down your eyelids- Suddely the world seemed so much brighter, the sun was shining, the birds were not chirping as it was midday but you get the point. Just as you were finally about to get a taste of freedom, that painfully familiar, booming voice called out to you and Grim, while you were about to accompany Deuce and Ace to the cafeteria.

"Yuu, I wish to speak to you for a moment!"

Just like that, the world was ruthless and dark once more. You felt your heart drop to your ass as both of your friends turn to give you a look, Deuce wearing sympathy, and Ace a shit eating grin. With a faux sympathetic pat on the shoulder from the ginger and a whisper of _"Good luck!"_ from Deuce, the two departed to enjoy their lunch, leaving you in the dust alone with the old man and his careful hold of Lucius mirroring your own hold of Grim. You gulped at the analytical gaze shared by him and his familiar, preparing yourself for whatever reprimanding or scolding was coming your way.

Was it the burnt homework? The falling asleep in class? With a sharp inhale and a ball of dread settling itself in your stomach, you turned to face your teacher. The fear sank further as your eyes met the rigid gaze of the stone aged man who's hand was still moving to stroke the dark fur of his feline.

"I have been informed of some... Developments, that may explain your sudden improvement in attendance."

You glanced down at the cat in his arms. Lucius was staring back at you with a lazy amber stare. Snitch. The Professor's next words made your blood run cold.

"Tell me truthfully, Yuu, have you been wielding magic of some kind in secret?"

Crap- Your plot armour failed you! Act dumb!

"Uh... who's Yuu?"

Not that dumb!

Even Grim wouldn't help but scrunch his nose and cringe at what was meant to be your excuse for gaslighting or diversion. Trein himself was not impressed nor amused, instead suspicion pooled in his eyes as he stared at you with a raised brow. The older man repeated himself.

"It has come to my attention you have found a more... unusual way to travel across the campus. Do you care to explain?"

With an uneasy attempt to swallow your simmering nerves, you stumbled on your words trying to explain how you essentially had a secret identity in which you fight bad guys when the night calls, and developed these super cool spider like abilities after being bitten by a- okay, you're probably sick of hearing of hearing about that by now. If only it were that easy to say with the old man's critical gaze analysing you like a specimen on display, all you could get out was-

"Uh..."

"So basically,"

"It's kind of uh... Like,"

"...Erm. It's not magic but..."

Your stuttering clearly wasn't making your lore drop very eloquent. You were just about to start spewing more nonsense when the feline in your arms got sick of listening to the sound of you trying to beatbox backyards, he did you a favour and interjected.

"Yuu's got super powers."

...Gee, thanks Grim, so much for keeping your abilities secret. Though, this seems to make the older man think, not at all perplexed by Grim's sudden reveal. Instead the old man closed his eyes and rubbed his chin.

"Interesting..." The older man spoke, opening his eyes and peering at you. Him and his feline companion were sharing the same judgmental stare.

"And I assume your so called 'super powers' are responsible for your improved punctuality in spite of your continuously medicore grades?" The old man raised a brow, stroking the thick fur of the cat nestled in his arms, you awkwardly nodded. The old man gave an unimpressed tut, his eyes narrowing.

"Relying soley on your abilities will ultimately hinder your progess, you must work to improve your self discipline to better your routine. Simply arriving to class on time is not enough to provide any academic progress."

Huh? He was just going to brush past it just like that? So like... He didn't want your autograph...? Kidding! But his response shocked you, it was as if you had merely brought up old politics or poor weather. Damn, were you that predictable...?

You and Grim shared a look, before looking back up at your teacher.

Was that it? Was a superhero just not as cool as magic and dragons? Ouch.

So that's how your history teacher discovered your secret identity, following it up with a lecture on self discipline and how your poor routine will drag you down yadayada... After what felt like a decade taken off your lifespan, you were liberated. Stepping out the classroom felt like you rivaled Lilia in age. And yet, before you could step close enough to the door to taste the freedom of lunchtime, Trien spoke up once more before you left,

"Oh, and Yuu?"

You tensed. What now?

"I have no intentions of sharing this information, so long as there is an improvement in your routine."

Trien sighed as the door shut behind you, watching as you scurried out like an eager chicken.

And with no time to waste, you scurried to the canteen and plopped down at the table beside a familiar head of lilac curls- breathing a sigh of relief to finally be able to sit at something other than a desk. You were greeted with a shit eating grin from your favourite ginger bastard, parallel to you.

"So-"

"Shut up."

------------

True to his word, Professor Trien kept his lips sealed, albeit with his typical unimpressed expression.

And begrudgingly, with multiple complaints from Grim, you began waking up earlier; you showed up to class on time at the cost of being able to continue your late night shenanigans.

Other than that? Nothing much changed. Jt wasn't exactly peaceful really, because when is Night Ravek collage ever peaceful? But it was calm...

Too calm.

Like clockwork, the fateful day came when you were called into the headmasters office.

You let out a heavy sigh and rubbed your temples like a tired, overworked salary man (you basically are, minus the salary) before pushing open the door of Crowleys office. Revealing the man himself, currently stood infront of a large window looking out onto the school's landscape, arms behind his back in an attempt to appear ominous.

Obviously it wasn't working.

You and grim shared a puzzled look, "Erm, Headmaster Crowley..?"

The headmaster turns, a solemn look on his masked face. Ugh... Here we go again...

"What is it this time?" Grim huffed, crossing his paws(?), more than familiar with this song and dance.

The headmaster let out a heavy sigh, sniffling a little as he placed a glazed hand on his chest,

"It appears this fine school I have put my soul into is nothing but a... A disgraceful dump!" The man cried, but you failed to see any actual tears in his eyes.

You and Grim shared a look. What was it about this time? You couldn't recall any noteworthy rumors floating around nor any remarkable incidents, outside of Deuce almost setting himself on fire during alchemy.

"I've been getting more and more reports of spider webs being found across the campus! Can you believe it?! My college! bug infested?!"

Had this guy been to Ramshackle? You'd seen more bugs and critters in Ramshackle than you had anywhere else your whole life.

You and Grim mirrored a guilty look- Hey! It wasn't your fault that Ramshackle was the only dorm on campus and somehow seemed to have the longest detour to the main building, because unlike everyone else in their actually livable dorms, you didn't have the privilege of a magic mirror to go straight to the main campus...

"Uhm... Actually headmaster Crowley-"

"You will help uncover the cause of this? Ah, perfect, you are so helpful!" And just like that, his sniffles and sobs seemed to come to a screeching halt, now replaced with his signature smile. He barely gave you time to explain yourself or even say anything at all before he practically dumped the situation onto you.

"Do tell me once you have sorted this! I cannot tend to it myself as I am most busy! I will reward your hard work, as I am most kind!" Yeah you didn't believe even a word of what he was spouting as he ushered you out of his office. The door to his office shut behind you, leaving you and Grim stood in the corridor.

You share yet another look, and then shrug in unison.

"Wanna go get something to eat?"

"You betcha I do!"

You made a mental note to be a little bit more careful when leaving webs behind...

--------------

Oh, Sam? He knew all along. How? Well, let's just say he's got friends on the other side that gave him a little tip.

You had walked up to the counter with the assortment of items you selected, the usual- a few cans of tuna, a few packs of instant noodles, and some fabric to patch the hole you'd somehow gotten in your blazer. You preferred to keep your spending at a minimum, given that your budget was um... Not exactly frivolous.

"Hey! My little imp is grabbing the usual, I see!" Sam greeted you with his signature smile. He was always so cheerful; you wanted whatever he was having.

"Yep, just the usual." Unfortunately you could never fully reciprocate his enthusiasm considering you felt like Pou after being starved, unwashed and beaten. Sam rung you up with a whistle and bagged up your items for you. He gave you a wink as he handed you the bag of your purchases goodies.

"Gave you a sturdier bag and tied it up for ya, So you don't drop anything when swinging back like last time!"

You blinked, looking down at the bag to see that he had indeed tightly tied up the bag handles, and that it felt thicker than the usual bag he gave you. This would definitely ensure that no cans of tuna went flying out and hitting some poor soul on the head! You could probably reuse this!

"Woah- thanks, Sam!"

Sam gave you a knowing chuckle as you waved him goodbye whilst leaving the store. Man, Sam's a pretty nice guy...

Wait a damn minute...

Riddle Rosehearts

It was a peaceful afternoon in the Rosehearts household, tea steaming gently on the table, a book resting on Riddle’s lap as he enjoyed a rare quiet moment. That calm, of course, didn’t last long.

“Papa?” a small voice piped up.

Riddle looked up from his book to see his son, clutching something behind his back. His expression softened immediately. “Yes? What is it?”

The boy fidgeted a little before pulling out a colorful picture book. “I found this in the library! It says babies come from a lady’s belly.”

Riddle blinked. His heart skipped a beat. “…Ah. Yes, that’s… technically correct.”

The boy tilted his head, eyes wide and curious. “But how do they get in there?”

Riddle’s face went pale in an instant. His teacup trembled slightly as he set it down with a clink.

He opened his mouth once. Closed it. Opened it again. “…That’s… quite the question,” he said carefully, voice a touch higher than usual.

His son just waited patiently, eyes expectant.

“Well…” Riddle began, straightening his posture and trying his best. “That’s… a topic for when you’re a bit older. Much older, in fact.”

“But I wanna know now!”

Riddle’s composure was visibly cracking. His ears were red, and his hand twitched like he wanted to point at something…anything…just to avoid the conversation.

“Er…tell me, where did you find that book?” he asked quickly, slipping into full on parent mode. “Perhaps I should… ah… put it somewhere safer.”

His son blinked up at him innocently. “It was on the bottom shelf in the library. Next to the gardening books!”

“Of course it was,” Riddle muttered under his breath, massaging his temple.

He stood and gently patted his son’s head. “Thank you for telling me, dear. Why don’t you go wash your hands and get ready for snack time? I’ll, ah… take care of this book for now.”

As the little boy skipped away happily, Riddle sighed in relief, clutching the offending picture book to his chest. He definitely wasn’t ready for that conversation. Maybe when his son turned sixteen. Or twenty.

He glanced toward the kitchen, where you were humming to yourself, and murmured under his breath, “You’re handling the next round of questions, my rose.”

Leona Kingscholar

The late afternoon sun was warm, golden, and perfect for napping. Leona was stretched out on the couch in the living room, one arm slung over his face, tail flicking lazily against the cushions. He was deep in dreamland, that rare, blissful state where no one was pestering him about duties or responsibilities.

At least… until a small voice shattered the peace.

“Daddy!”

He groaned, one eye cracking open. “…Im sleeping, cub.”

His daughter, of course, didn’t care. She bounced up beside him, eyes wide with that unstoppable curiosity she definitely inherited from you.

“So, I was with Uncle Ruggie today,” she began, completely ignoring his grumbling. “We were buying fruit, and I saw this lady with a huge belly! I asked Uncle Ruggie why it was so big, and he said she’s pregnant!”

Leona’s tail stopped moving.

“Uh-huh…” he said warily.

“Then I asked him how the baby got in there!?” she continued innocently. “And he said I should ask you!”

Both his eyes snapped open.

That traitor.

He sat up, squinting at his daughter for a long, silent moment while mentally debating whether to strangle Ruggie later or fake dead his way out of this conversation.

But her wide, curious eyes and trusting little face made him sigh in defeat.

Alright. Time to improvise.

“Well, you see, cub…” he started slowly, scratching his neck. “When a man and a woman really love each other, they… uh… wanna get close to each other.”

She tilted her head. “Like hugging?”

Leona froze for a beat, then seized on the opportunity. “Exactly. Hugging. When a woman hugs a man too much, sometimes a baby starts growin’ in her belly.”

Her eyes went wide. “Really!?”

“Yep” he said, nodding, proud of his quick save. “So, you’d better not let any little boys hug you, got it?”

She gasped and nodded fiercely. “Okay! No boys allowed!”

“’Atta girl” he said with a grin, already lying back down.

But then

“What about you, Daddy? You’re a boy too!”

Leona cracked a lazy smile, patting her head. “Family doesn’t count. You can hug me all you want, cub.”

Satisfied with his brilliant parenting, he went right back to sleep.

A few days later…

Leona was rudely awakened again, this time by you standing over him, arms crossed, foot tapping, with your phone in hand.

“Leona Kingscholar” you said in that dangerous calm voice.

He cracked one eye open. “…what’d I do now?”

You crossed your arms tighter. “Why did Jack just call me to say our daughter refused to hug him because she ‘doesn’t want a baby in her belly’!?”

Leona blinked. Then blinked again.

Then snorted, tail flicking lazily as a smirk spread across his face. “Hah. Guess she listens well. Smart kid.”

You gawked at him. “Leona!”

He chuckled and rolled over, muffling his laughter in a pillow. “What? I was improvisin’, herbivore. Better she learns that than the real thing.”

You groaned, dragging a hand down your face. “You’re impossible.”

Azul Ashengrotto

It was a calm, quiet evening drive, or, well, it had been.

Azul’s hands rested neatly on the steering wheel, eyes on the road, the faint hum of the engine mixing with the rhythmic tap of his fingers. The wind through the open window made him feel almost relaxed after a long day of paperwork.

In the backseat, his daughter was happily swinging her legs, clutching a little plush octopus that Jade had given her earlier.

“I had sooo much fun with Uncle Jade today!” she said brightly. “He even let me watch TV!”

Azul’s smile twitched. “…He did, did he?”

He loved his business partner like a brother, but too much screen time for his little girl? That was not on the list of approved activities. He made a mental note to discuss this with Jade later.

“What did you watch, sweetheart?” he asked, forcing a calm tone.

“A documentary!” she chirped proudly. “It was about octopuses! Did you know they come from eggs?”

Azul blinked. “Ah, yes, I’m aware.”

“Uncle Jade said that baby octopuses hatch from eggs, and I saw it!” she continued, eyes wide. “So… does that mean I came from an egg too?”

Azul nearly swerved.

He cleared his throat, gripping the steering wheel tighter. “N-No, my dear, absolutely not. You did not come from an egg.”

She tilted her head, confused. “Then… where did I come from?”

He tried to choose his words very carefully. “From your mother’s belly.”

For a blissful three seconds, there was silence. Azul allowed himself a small sigh of relief. Maybe that would be the end of it…

“But how did I get in Mommy’s belly?”

Azul froze.

His jaw locked, his eyes flicking toward the road like they could save him from this question.That was the exact moment he realized, he made a terrible, terrible mistake.

The car went quiet for several seconds.

Finally, Azul inhaled deeply through his nose, straightened his tie, and with the smoothest voice he could muster said

“That… is an excellent question, darling.”

A pause.

Then, with a perfectly polite smile that masked his absolute internal panic

“I think… your mother can explain that one far better than I can.”

“Really?” she asked. “But you’re smart, Daddy!”

His eye twitched. “Y-Yes, well, even geniuses know when to defer to the proper authority.”

She beamed, totally oblivious. “Okay! I’ll ask Mommy when we get home!”

Azul’s knuckles went white around the steering wheel. “…Wonderful.”

By the time he pulled into the driveway, he was sweating. The moment he saw you at the door, he gave you that please handle this before I collapse look.

You blinked, already suspicious. “Azul? Everything alright?”

He adjusted his glasses with a stiff smile. “Oh, yes, my pearl. Our daughter just had… a few educational questions for you.”

And then he fled to his office before you could ask why.

Jamil Viper

It was one of those calm afternoons when everything was, for once, normal. Just Jamil quietly chopping vegetables in the kitchen while the smell of spiced curry filled the air.

Then, his son came in, dragging his favorite toy snake by the tail.

“Dad?”

Jamil hummed without looking up, still chopping onions with practiced ease. “Mm?”

“I’m lonely at home” the boy said, lower lip puffed out. “I want a little brother or sister to play with.”

Jamil paused, his knife hovering in the air. Ah. There it was. The kind of conversation he was not emotionally prepared for before lunch.

He turned slightly, offering a patient smile. “That’s… not really something you can just get in a minute, you know. It’s not that easy.”

“But why?”

“Because…” he started, already regretting opening his mouth. “…babies are… complicated.”

His son tilted his head, clearly not satisfied. “Where do babies come from, then?”

Jamil froze. His expression didn’t change, outwardly calm, perfectly neutral, but internally, he was screaming.

He stood there for a long moment, considering all his options. Then, with the same cool composure he gave the smartest answer he could think of

“You should ask your mother.”

And that was that. Or so he thought.

Five peaceful minutes passed. He went back to chopping vegetables, humming softly to himself, mentally congratulating his quick thinking. Then tiny footsteps returned.

He didn’t even turn around when he heard his son’s voice again. “Dad?”

“Yes?”

“Mom said to tell you…”

The tone. Jamil already knew this wasn’t going to end well. He slowly turned, raising an eyebrow. “…What did she say?”

“She said, ‘I carried, now you explain it.’”

Jamil blinked. Once. Twice. Then stared blankly at the wall like his brain had just blue screened. There was a long, painful silence. The kind that only happened when Jamil was truly defeated.

He finally exhaled, setting down the knife and rubbing his temples. “…Of course she did.”

His son watched, eyes bright. “So? Where do they come from?”

Jamil gave him a long, serious look, the kind that could silence a whole room.

Then he said, in the calmest voice possible “You know, maybe it’s time you and your mother both went to visit Uncle Kalim. I’m sure he’d love to explain it.”

“Really? Yay!” the boy cheered and ran off toward the living room, leaving Jamil staring into the middle distance.

He sighed deeply, muttering under his breath, “If Kalim actually tries, I’m moving out.”

Vil Schoenheit

The court of Princess Schoenheit’s tea party was in session.

Plastic tiaras, sparkling tulle skirts, mismatched dolls and at the center of it all sat Vil and his little daughter, sipping “tea” from pink plastic cups with all the grace.

“Thank you for the invitation, my darling” Vil said smoothly, crossing one leg over the other with dramatic elegance. “This blend of chamomile is divine.”

His daughter giggled, her golden curls bouncing. “Thank you Papa! I made it myself!”

“Of course you did,” he said proudly, pretending to take a delicate sip. “Flawless as expected from my daughter.”

They continued their sophisticated chatter for a while, discussing her stuffed animals latest scandals and who would host the next tea party. Then Vil, in his ever graceful way, decided to bring up some real world news.

“By the way, my dear” he said, smiling warmly, “Uncle Rook and his wife going to have a baby soon.”

Her eyes widened, her little hands gripping the teapot with excitement. “Really?! Then we can have another tea party guest!”

“Indeed” Vil said with a pleased hum. “Another precious little one to add to our circle.”

But then she blinked, her expression turning thoughtful. “…Papa? Where did Uncle Rook get the baby?”

Vil froze for half a second. His perfectly trained smile faltered, just a flicker, before returning in place. Oh, Seven help him. He should have seen that question coming.

“Well…” he began, setting down his cup “when a man and a woman truly love one another, a stork brings them a baby. That’s how it’s always been.”

A harmless tale, of course. She was too young for anything more, and honestly, a touch of whimsy suited the occasion.

But instead of the awe he expected, his daughter grimaced. “Eww, I don’t like boys, boys are gross.”

Vil blinked, then immediately, immediately, nodded in full agreement.

“Yes. Yes, they are” he said, leaning closer. “They are terribly messy, often inconsiderate, and most of them do not even moisturize.”

She gasped in horror. “They don’t?!”

“Tragic, isn’t it?” Vil said with a sigh, hand pressed dramatically over his chest. “Which is why you mustn’t even bat an eye at them. Keep your standards high, my darling. Only family, your Papa, and perhaps Uncle Rook are exceptions.”

She nodded with determination, her little brow furrowed. “Okay! I’ll only love you, Mommy, Uncle Rook, and Grandpa. No boys.”

Vil smiled, satisfied, and very proud of himself. “Excellent choice, my love. I see you’ve inherited my taste and my wisdom.”

He lifted his teacup again and took another imaginary sip.

Idia Shroud

The lab was quiet, soft hum of machines and the frantic tapping of Idia’s keyboard. His hair glowed a low, steady blue as he mumbled to himself about codes, fully immersed in his latest program.

Everything was perfect, until a small voice broke his concentration.

“Dad.”

Idia flinched so hard his knee hit the underside of the desk. “Huh?! Wh-What-oh, it’s just you.”

He turned to see his son standing at the doorway, arms crossed, cheeks puffed out in the same adorable pout that Idia could never say no to.

“Uh… hey, champ. You look kinda serious. What’s up?”

The boy’s eyes narrowed. “I want a sibling.”

Idia’s hands froze over the keyboard. His glowing hair flickered from blue to pink. “Y–You what?!”

“I want a brother or sister!” the kid said firmly, stomping a foot. “I’m alone. Everyone else has siblings to play with! Uncle Ortho has you, but I don’t have anyone. It’s not fair!”

Idia’s brain short circuited for a second. He stammered, trying to form words while his son glared up at him. “O-okay, first off, buddy uh… that’s not how it works. You can’t just… order a sibling.”

“But why not?”

“Because…uh…it’s complicated! You see, um… getting a baby is a… uh… long term… cooperative side quest, and uh…requires two players, okay?”

The boy tilted his head. “Then where do babies come from if it’s so difficult?”

Oh no. Idia’s internal system crashed. He could practically hear the Windows error sound in his brain. He needed an answer. Any answer.

“Well…” he began nervously, sweating bullets, “you see, when a-a woman… eats… uh… too many jelly beans… it… starts growing in her belly, and uh…. ta-da! Baby!”

He even added jazz hands. Jazz hands.

His son blinked. “…Really?”

Idia nodded furiously. “Y-yeah, totally. I mean, you know how sugar’s like, uh… energy and life force, right? And moms are super powerful beings, so, uh… yeah! Jelly beans equal baby. Science.”

The kid seemed to consider this seriously before gasping in awe. “That’s so cool!”

“Y-yeah… cool…” Idia muttered weakly, turning back to his monitor in the hope that the conversation was over. His hair slowly dimmed back to a relieved blue as he heard his son run off, muttering something about jelly beans.

Peace returned for a blissful five minutes. Until he heard you call from the kitchen.

“Idia! Sweetheart!”

The tone was too sweet. “Y-yeah?”

You appeared in the doorway holding a bowl full of jelly beans, and your son right behind you, grinning proudly.

“Would you care to explain” you said, eyes narrowing, “why your child is trying to feed me jelly beans every minutes and saying it’ll give him a sibling?”

Idia turned pink to the tips of his hair. “Uh…uhhhh…uh, you see, it’s-it’s a science project?”

You stared. “A science project?”

From behind you, your son proudly offered another jelly bean. “Mama, eat more! I want a baby sister!”

Idia just whined. “I’m uninstalling myself from this whole conversation…”

Malleus Draconia

It was supposed to be a quiet evening in Briar Valley. The sky shimmered faintly outside the castle windows, and Malleus was in his study, writing letters and sipping tea when an unmistakable sound echoed, the screaming of small children.

He sighed, setting down his pen. “…Ah. The little thunder and lightning are at it again.”

He strode down the hall with regal calm, though a faint flicker of worry glimmered in his green eyes. Opening the door to the twins bedroom, he was met with chaos.

Toys were scattered everywhere, his daughter face was red and tear streaked, and his son stood with his arms crossed, looking both defensive and guilty.

“What is the meaning of this?” Malleus asked gently, voice deep but calm as always.

“She said!” “He said!”

They both started at once, their little voices overlapping until Malleus lifted a hand, and the air itself seemed to hush.

“One at a time,” he said. “Sweetheart, you may speak first.”

She sniffled, rubbing her eyes. “Daddy, he said I’m not your real daughter! He said you found me in a box on the street and took me home!”

Malleus blinked, his ears twitching slightly in disbelief. He turned his gaze to his son. “Is this true?”

The boy scowled, chin raised in defiance. “Well, she started it! She told me I was the street baby first!”

Malleus closed his eyes and took a slow, deep breath. the kind of breath.

“Children” he began “Neither of you were found in any box on any street. You are both our beloved children.”

The twins exchanged wary looks.

“Then where did we come from?” his daughter asked, tilting her head curiously. “If we weren’t found, how did we get here?”

Malleus smiled fondly. “You both came from your mother’s belly, of course.”

That answer, he thought, would settle it. Simple, truthful enough, and free of unnecessary details. But instead of relief, the twins only looked more confused.

His son squinted. “…How did we get in there?”

His daughter nodded eagerly, wide eyed. “Yeah! Did Mama eat us?!”

Malleus froze. The calm, regal smile on his face went utterly still, as if his soul had momentarily left his body. He stood there in dignified silence for a long moment. The twins blinked up at him, waiting.

Finally, with all the composure, Malleus cleared his throat. “…Perhaps…” he said slowly, “you should ask your grandfather Lilia. He is… quite experienced in such matters.”

He thought that was a brilliant deflection, wise, strategic, perfectly logical. Until he heard your voice echo down the hall

“MALLEUS DRACONIA!”

He visibly flinched as your footsteps approached, fast and furious.

“I swear!” you said, appearing in the doorway with your hands on your hips, “if you ever let Lilia educate our children about that—!”

Malleus’s expression turned sheepish, shoulders slightly hunched like a guilty child himself. “Ah… my love, I was merely suggesting he might… elaborate upon the biological aspects.”

You arched an eyebrow. “Biological aspects, huh? Do you want him to tell them about the ‘romantic fire of youth’ and ‘fae rituals’ again?”

Malleus winced. “…Perhaps not.”

The twins looked between you and their father, utterly lost.

“Does this mean we were found in a box?” the boy whispered.