Professional Overthinker

Hi I’m normal about them I promise (me when I lie)

Tony: *flicks Natasha on the forehead*

Natasha: …What the hell?

Tony: Hi.

Natasha: Hi?

Tony: *nods*

Natasha: Why did you flick me?

Tony: ‘Cause we’re friends

Natasha: did you flick them?

Bruce: No, he just hugged us. Except Steve, who he nodded at

Tony: Flicking is the form of physical contact that is the most clearly non-sexual and non-violent. I’m just making sure you know that I’m not making a move on you

Natasha: …

Natasha: You’ve never been friends with a woman, have you?

Natasha was nowhere near done, meaning she was fully prepared to let him torture her to extract information. This is probably something she does on the regular

Strongest. Avenger.

A week later they still can’t find Clint or Natasha.

Two weeks later Clint is found hiding in the giant A on the side of the tower.

A month later and not even Clint can find Natasha.

A month and a half later Natasha comes back after “giving up” because she ran out of chips in her hiding spot. She finds the rest of the Avengers genuinely considering planning her funeral.

Tony programmed Jarvis to play Star Spangled Man every time Steve enters the room. One time Natasha belted it at full volume, which is how the team learned she has an angelic singing voice

Natasha steals everyone’s clothes and blankets. (Yes, everyone’s cold.)

Thor puts Mjolnir on top of the cookie tin so the others can’t eat the cookies. Clint wrote “FUCK THOR — Hawkeye” on his hammer and Thor cried. Tony broke into the cookie tin with his cutting torch

As the only women on the team, Wanda and Natasha share a shower, where they leave hair art on the wall for the other to add to it when it’s her turn to shower. There’s now a very detailed hair mural which they are very proud of. (Natasha’s convinced Wanda’s cheating by using her magic to help shape the hair)

Thor loves pillow fights, and he keeps trying to get Bruce to pillow fight him, and Bruce is sooo scared he’ll turn into the Hulk, and Thor’s like IT’S A PILLOW!!! (He ends up having most of his pillow fights with Nat or Clint)

Nat: I’ve killed someone with a pillow before

Bruce: …

Nat: What? I won’t kill YOU with a pillow!

Bruce: It’s still concerning

Thor: How would you kill Banner?

Nat: Poison

Bruce: WHAT?

Nat: We can’t kill you by violent means because it triggers the Hulk. But you’ve been sick before and Hulk hasn’t come out, so it stands to reason that poisons would work on you

Bruce: …

Nat: …

Thor: :)

Bruce: I don’t like that you think about me that way

Nat: I actually have plans on how to kill all of you

Steve: PLANS?

Nat: Hypothetical plans! Safeguards!