The drunk saiouma you ordered, my liege.
police sirens were blaring loudly. He carefully made his way into the spectacle. It was a small, weather-beaten white pickup truck with rust spotting all over. It was hard to get close enough
to adequately examine it. One of the officers turned around and immediately locked eyes with Shuichi, who in his curiosity had forgotten he was still in uniform. Trying to be friendly, she
gave Shuichi an apologetic smile. "Hey! You must be the boyfriend. Your man didn't hurt anyone, but he did total your car. Sorry, dude." she said, leading a very perplexed and mildly flustered
forensic analyst into the middle of the chaos. Police officers were crowded around the car, trying to pull a disgruntled man out of the front seat. They turned and looked at Shuichi, who gave them
his best host club smile. "Hello there, I think there might've been some sort of mistake.. I'm not really this man's boyfriend, I must've just been the last person he saw, and he was very, uh,
"Totally fucking wasted, right? He's super disoriented, can't drive. I don't even know if he's drunk. Said he just left the doctor's." making Shuichi go wide-eyed.
"That was me, I'm not a doctor, I just have a PHD." But this didn't seem to be an out of the ordinary occasion for the police, as they immediately got in their cruisers
and drove away. "Sorry, but it's not really our problem anymore. Besides, you're a detective!" It was absolutely ridiculous, almost funny. "I'm not even- No wonder
this city has so many murders.. Incompetent, unprofessional.." His private moment of outrage was derailed as he heard the driver's side
Kokichi didn't step out of the vehicle. No, he fell swiftly and immediately to his knees, laughing. "Oh, haha.. That came out of nowhere, that was so crazy.." It was as if he didn't notice the other man
standing there, until he did. A smile spread across Kokichi's flushed face, and he staggered to his feet. "Hot damn.. Where have you been all my life?" He slumped over, gagged, and then swallowed again.
"Ooh, sorry. That was embarrassing... Cute guys make me sick." He lumbered towards him with an awkward, limping gait. Shuichi tried to close the gap, just in case he fell again. "Hey, be careful, you
might hurt yourself." he did indeed stumble again, and this time, Kokichi didn't find himself on the ground. He rubbed his eyes. "Oh, there you are. This must be a dream." he smiled wistfully up at Shuichi.
before fully stepping into his arms, the ones still braced to catch him. Shuichi flinched instinctively, but relaxed once he realized this was not an attack. "What are you..." the rest of his sentence died
as he felt Kokichi lean on him. "Just a hug, please..?" Something in the man's voice was breaking, and it was becoming hard to turn him away. "We shouldn't.. You know I can't be seen like this.."
When he lifted his head up, the purple haired man had tears in his eyes. He practically tore them apart again. "I know, I know.. sorry, I can't go hugging random cute guys just because they catch me..."
"Cute...? Kokichi, you know who I am, right?"
"Of course I do.. You're a.. you're some handsome guy I don't know, who totally knows my name!"
"Come on, you have to at least recognize my voice.. How many fingers am I holding up?"
"I know how to count... That has nothing to do with me not knowing who you are. Three."
"What? That's- I'm making a fist! How are you seeing three?"
This was a disaster. Shuichi found himself trying to drag the other man onto the sidewalk and away from his vehicle. He wasn't fighting, just insistent on being dragged. Shuichi sighed as he accounted for
Kokichi's dead weight. Not only was he dragging his feet, he was openly sobbing. "I'm so sorry! I know you were making a fist! Pleeease don't be mad!" he whined,
gripping Shuichi's hand with both of his own. "Why would I be mad? I'm just putting you on the sidewalk. How much did you drink?" Shuichi placed him down in a sitting
position for the moment, hoping to clear his head. He breathed in and out a few times before he felt Kokichi wrap himself around his legs, nearly tipping him over.
"Hey! What are you doing!?"
"If I don' do this, you're gonna leave,"
"What? I'm just going to take you home. Tell me where you live."
"What? You're taking me home with you?"
"What? No, I asked where you live."
"Oh, funny thing about that.. You wanna know what I forgot?"
"Ohhh, you must be a detective or something! That's right!"
this is so GOOD!!!!!! thank you for sharing with the class :D
(you should be writing fanfics i will deadass be your biggest fan)
i think drunk saiouma is interesting because being drunk/high gives them an opportunity to get what they want without their overthinking getting in the way!
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