farmer 4 mayor 20xx

The hate and disdain I have for Mayor Lewis of Pelican Town is BLINDING. HE IS SUCH A SLIMEBALL. "Yeah, let me just leave the entire town's broken infrastructure and pollution to the farmer who JUST MOVED IN A WEEK AGO". He literally goes around every single damn week collecting "tax money" from all of the local business. WHERE EXACTLY IS THAT TAX MONEY GOING? NOT BACK TO THE COMMUNITY! The kids don't even have a school, the town is so lucky they have Penny willing to teach both Vincent and Jas basic reading and writing skills. Not only that but he could use that money on fixing up the old community center, but yknow what he does instead? HE BUILDS A FUCKING GOLDEN STATUE OF HIMSELF IN HIS OWN BACKYARD WITH THE TOWNS TAXPAYER DOLLARS. And then has the sheer utter AUDACITY to not only make me retrieve his crusty ass undies from his flings bedroom BUT ALSO TELLS ME TO MAKE HIM LUBE?! AND DOESN'T EVEN SAY PLEASE. HE IS SUCH A DEGENERATE BRO I WISH HE WOULD GET BOOTED OUT OF TOWN ONCE YOU COMPLETE THE COMMUNITY CENTER. There is genuinely nobody more cowardly and disgustingly selfish in all of Stardew Valley than Lewis, aside from MAYBE Morris, but I don't fucking see Morris with a golden statue of himself in the middle of Joja Mart. Anyways rant over also maybe Pelican Town needs it's own Luigi Mangione to take out Mayor Lewis and Joja Co.

Haley: *Pointing at Sebastian* We can't manipulate, Haley: *Pointing at Alex* mansplain, Haley: *Pointing at Sam* or malewife our way out of here. Abigail: *Wielding a sword* MANSLAUGHTER IT IS THEN

Yall think Elliott and Haley have bombastic side eye? Like criminally offensive side eye? They don't use it on regular ordinary stupid or else Sam would be constantly glared at but when they do use it, you feel like you have invented a new type of stupid.