gosh

nothing in the world makes me more evil than just being kind of annoyed

HAVE YOU EVER TOUCHED A dog

pasta fucks

thinking in the shower is such risky business. have i washed my hair 0 times or 5? who knows! what i do know is i’ve won twelve imaginary arguments and constructed the complete plot to an epic novel that will evaporate from my mind the millisecond i exit the bathroom

It’s that time of year again so here is your yearly reminder that the world isn’t ending and people don’t hate you. The sun is just setting at 6 pm.

wait are there really new people joining this site. i thought it was a hoax.

“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.

Good Job.

do you think no one else has time travel

Happy one month anniversary to this post that has not allowed me a single day of fucking peace since I made it.

wow if only you had a time machine

babe wake up, new incomprehensible tumblr bullshit just dropped

Oh god I love songs so much. thank fuck we get to have songs

I’m crying.

LMAOOOOOOOOO the screaming in the beginning “mr. owl” “oh jesus christ” “please don’t give me that look” “please don’t fly” DYING omg

That owl is 30000000% done

every time this video graces me with its presence i feel obliged to reblog it

This gives me great joy

The first part triggers the sleeper cells the second part turns on rage mode for them

im Not Kidding i am going to Commit A Homicide

We as a species are each and every day becoming more creative in the ways with which we destroy eachothers lives.