☀︎︎°‧ ivs ｡𖦹°‧

he lost everything that made barty barty

evan noticed, of course, but never really cared. obviously, he was sad about how things turned out, but in his eyes, barty was barty. his barty, and nothing could change that.

when barty thought of his past, he could only remember the extremes of it. his hypersexual tendencies, his chaotic and destructive persona, his all consuming love for evan.

so, he created hornkus binglefuck (reggie chose that nickname), an "alter ego" of sorts, from what he could remember of his past self, and tried his best to embody that persona, simply because he couldnt take the pain in evan's eyes whenever he looked at barty

evan hated hornkus binglefuck so much, because that wasnt barty. sure he was chaotic and outgoing and lowkey evil, but that was the barty everyone else saw, that was the persona barty forced himself to be. his barty was soft, gentle, passionate.

his barty would softly stroke his back after rough sex, whispering sweet nothings into his ear. his barty would sneak the two out of hogwarts just because he noticed evan was feeling overwhelmed. his barty took his time and listened to whatever bullshit evan was ranting about that day. his barty was his, and his only. not some persona, but himself, raw and unhidden. he wouldn't have to hide behind false words and emotions with evan, never.

so, one day, evan sat barty down, and explained to him oh so softly, because he knew barty was still fragile, no matter how much he tried to hide it, and he told him. he told him everything about his barty, and how he didn't have to pretend around him, and how much he loved him, his lack of a soul and true happiness included.

You're an idiot. You repeat the same mistakes over and over.

At least I make new mistakes.

Maybe you always choose him because you know you can never have him, and that's safe.

If you ever chose me, you'd have me, and then what would you do?

I hate that.

You have too much power over me, and you're cruel with it.

I choose you, and it doesn't mean anything.

It's not fair.

But we can't all be Regulus and Potter, can we?

I hate you.