𝚜𝚝𝟺𝚛-𝚝𝚎𝚊

The whole fuckin time what was blocking me was the ego. It was blocking me from being consistent and sure of what I want

The second my boyfriend pissed me off I just threw away my manifestation away because I was too mad and I was deciding that he can kiss my ass and just fuck off. It was just too much for me but I realised it's just the ego. Like it was just doing that out of the spite to him because why should I put this effort if he's being an asshole not worthy of me?

And then it just clicked for me, if you don't want him like that then why do you keep choosing this version of him? Because the ego clings to that version just so I can keep getting mad at him because he was an asshole to me and I just can't deal with it, because it was easier to argue with him and be pissed at him than letting it go and persisting into the better version, it felt better to keep letting out my frustration and clinging into this anger than choosing a new identity where I'm loved and prioritised and he's the best boyfriend ever.

My ego kept choosing the familiar hell rather than the unknown heaven.

But then I realized that I am source. I'm more than my anger and feelings in general. I don't have to keep letting my ego win. I just have to persist in the new reality because I don't have to be stuck in this shithole

I can choose a different version of everything because I am limitless and I just have to let go of the unfavorable version no matter how uncomfortable that is.

I am finally choosing the unknown heaven because I deserve this and even more <33

So I couldn't be added to the steam family my bf is in 🫩 and he said that I should buy phasmophobia myself (because that's what he wanted to play with me)

And it's was a bit too expensive for me so I just affirmed literally for a moment that there is a discount on it and then it was just in the back of my mind that there's gonna be a discount soon

And then today I got an email that says that there is summer discount on steam and phasmophobia is there too!!

I wasn't really focused on it but it happened anyway because I just knew!

I'm really excited about it!

Love y'all 💗💗

My bf and I are on a break and he just sent a Snap that he's hanging out with his hg I'm VERY jealous of and Initially I wanted to cry, I wanted to spiral again, I wanted to text him about it despise of the break and acting like a victim again but something just broke in me in that moment

I spiraled but in the other way, I decided that it's just the projection of my shitty self concept and my assumptions about our relationship and him and that it's not real and I won't be a victim in my own reality anymore. I started rampaging and I just don't care what the 3D shows me because it's not real anymore, I'm the mf source and I decided that I won't be that miserable little bitch anymore and I won't be disrespected because I don't deserve this because I deserve THE BEST and I'm getting it.

I'm more sure of my abilities in manifesting than I was my entire life, I don't care about the 3D I only care about what's inside of me and I know it's already done

Idk maybe I'm going crazy but I don't care. I'm living my best life RIGHT NOW and I won't let shitty boyfriends and their weird ahh female friends tell me things about myself because it's my reality and I make the rules

I'm so motivated rn because of the anger at this situation and I think it's just needed to happen to snap me out of that weird state I was in that I was not sure of what I want and I didn't have the energy to fix anything BUT THAT'S OVER. You all gonna see in real time how my reality changes 😛😛😛

I will be updating 😋

But I don't know if I should focus only on my self concept in this time or I should do self concept and relationship affs?

I manifested for a while that I have a cat but then I decided that I don't really know if I want a cat now because idk if I could take care of another being rn so I just let it go

And then my sister called me today asking me if I want to take care of a kitty for a week for my brother and ofc I said yes

I have a problem with consistency istg I be persisting in the new story for two days and then get bored and not connected to the affirmations anymore or something happened in the 3D and I get triggered because I'm way too sensitive and I just don't feel like doing that anymore

Like girl lock in pleaaaseeeuhhh 😩😩

Literally imagine you can change your whole shitty situation into your dream life but you keep postponing it because you are a lazy chud with a victim mindset 🫩

I mean I trust it could be movement and it need to happen before it truly comes into 3D

BUT! That doesn't mean I ruined my manifestation, Today I returned to my decision and I'm LOCKING IN!

Remember guys one bad day doesn't erase your work, you still have it!

I even thought of giving up and to stop wasting my energy on him BUTTTT I realised that I cannot give up, the reality is literally changing to my favor and I can't give up now. That may be the situation I had a feeling about and that means I'm on the right path. I have to persist no matter what because that's what manifesting is.

I don't know how to describe it but I have this feeling that there will be some situation and from that I'll know that my life changed, does this makes sense?