The man’s silhouette moved slowly across the field, swaying between the tall grass, feeling the flower heads brushing against his palms. The autumn wind probably graced gently against his face, and for a moment, from a distance, he looked so peaceful… he... it… a walker.

My finger edged closer to the trigger. Easy target. They always were. I exhaled once and loosened my grip on the gun, pulling my eye away from the tight tunnel of the sights. I couldn’t afford the luxury of killing those creatures for sport, wasting bullets on something that barely mattered. Ammo was harder to find than food these days and I've been lucky lately without many of them roaming around. But one thing was true, if humanity thought the Covid-19 pandemic was rough, little did we know what awaited us in the future.

I pushed myself up from the concrete roof of the gas station’s shop. The place sat alone in the middle of nowhere, with its old sign hanging crooked above empty pumps. My limbs ached with every movement after days of walking settled deep into my muscles.

As I climbed down the side ladder, I noticed another walker drifting along the road. They were starting to gather. Great. It was time to move. I slipped inside the small shop and started scanning the shelves, though the place had been picked through,

It has been a little bit over a year this whole situation started and dust already clung to everything like a second skin. Still, there were some scraps left for me to pick up, a few bottles of Gatorade, chocolate bars, cleaning alcohol. Not much, but enough to keep me going a little longer.

I was stuffing the supplies into my bag when something clanked in the next aisle. I froze for a moment as a door creaked shut somewhere inside the store, then another loud metallic noise, followed by a loud curse and a low pained moan. 

Outside, the walker by the road turned its head toward the shop, it had certainly noticed the sound. Fantastic. I moved quietly toward the back exit, hoping to slip out unnoticed by both of them. Whoever was in here could deal with their own problems, until a male voice called out behind me.

“Hey!” I stopped dead and spun around hastily, raising a finger to my lips.

“Shut up. There’s one of them outside.” I hissed, my eyes narrowed at his figure crouched on the ground, clutching his foot. “Where did you come from? Who are you?”

The guy leaned against a shelf, breathing hard. “I think what you meant to say is ‘how are you?’” he muttered. “To which I’d answer ‘very shitty, thanks’. Now c’mon—help me out here.”

I followed his gaze downward, his ankle was caught in a homemade trap, crude but quite effective. Two metal jaws clamped around his boot, bolted to a short chain attached into the floor, not strong enough to kill anything big, but painful enough to hold someone in place.

Probably meant for animals. Maybe for people too. Perhaps even me. 

“No.” I stepped back quickly, putting some distance between us.

“What?” His voice jumped. “Hey! Where are you going?”

“I’m not helping someone I just met.” I shook my head. “You could be a crazy survivalist, a murderer, or whatever.”

“I’m not a murderer,” he shrieked, desperation creeping into his voice.

“Sounds like something one would say.”

A sudden crack echoed from the front of the store, both of us looked toward the door. Wood splintered as the walker forced its way inside. 

“Please! You need to help me! What kind of soulless human being are you?” His voice dropped into something raw.

The walker staggered into the shop, cloudy eyes scanning slowly as it followed the noise. I glanced toward the back door, a clean escape, I’d be gone in seconds. The creature groaned again, shuffling closer down the aisle. I muttered a curse under my breath and turned around.

“Fuck it. Pull up the hem.” The guy didn’t waste a second. 

He yanked his pant leg up while I knelt beside the trap and forced the metal jaws apart. My hands slipped on the bars as the spring finally gave out, and the trap snapped open. I pulled his ankle free just as the walker turned into our aisle.

“Get up.” I pulled him up, he tried to stand for himself and nearly collapsed, limping quite badly as I grabbed his hand and pushed him forward.

We rushed through the back door into the open air, but it only took a few seconds until the walker stumbled outside, dragging its feet toward us across the cracked pavement.

“Inside,” I muttered, shoving the guy toward an abandoned Waffle House across the lot.

The windows were grimy and a bit shattered, its yellow sign also hung crooked above the door. We slipped inside and ducked behind the counter, crouching low, holding the few breaths we still had inside our lungs. For an almost endless moment, neither of us spoke, listening for any footsteps outside, glass cracking, a groan, anything at all.

Time went by in silence, the sky outside had grown darker, autumn had only just begun and the days were already shrinking, the light draining away earlier than it used to. Through the dusty windows of the Waffle House, the last gray sliver of evening faded behind the empty road.

Neither of us dared to speak, we sat in silence as if waiting for something to happen, or maybe too afraid of what might follow the moment one of us opened their mouth.

Outside, nothing moved, no dragging footsteps, no hollow groans drifting through the air, only the wind brushing against the broken glass. A whole hour passed like that, by then it was clear that we were completely alone.

I pushed myself up from the floor with a strained groan, my knees felt stiff and aching after sitting so long. Reaching into my bag, I pulled out a small first aid kit and tossed it into the guy’s direction. He caught it midair with surprising speed, his eyebrows lifting in mild shock.

“See if you can find something for your leg in there,” I mumbled, already turning away before taking a quick glance over my shoulder. “I’ll try to find some food. And don’t try anything on me. I’ve got some questions for you.”

My grip tightened slightly around the rifle hanging at my side, he held my gaze for a moment before silently nodding his head. Good. I moved toward the back of the kitchen area, stepping over overturned stools and greasy tiles, where everything smelled faintly of old oil and dust.

Behind me, I could hear him working, the rustle of gauze, the soft clink of metal tools inside the kit. I gazed back toward him, he had cleaned the wound as best as he could and was wrapping a bandage tightly around his ankle, improvising something decent out of what little was inside the kit. 

Up close, now that things were calmer, I noticed him properly. Shaved head, worn-down clothes that accentuated his lean build, dark circles under his sharp and alert eyes, which still had some kind of softness clinging on, stubbornly refusing to die.

I found a small stash of frozen waffles in the back freezer, buried under frost and old packaging, staring at them for a moment before letting out a quiet scoff. So funny to think something so simple can spark even the tiniest glint of hope inside someone.

Behind me, the young man cleared his throat, the sound snapped my attention back to him instantly while I went back to set up the waffles on our small fire.

“Thanks,” he said carefully. “For all of this. I’m Hyun—”

“No.” The word cut through the room before he could finish. “I don’t fucking wanna know who you are,” I said flatly. His mouth shut. 

“We’re not in this together. I don’t need to know your name, your story, or whatever else you’re about to tell me.” I flipped one of the waffles in the pan with the edge of my knife. “I’ll help you tonight cause you’re hurt. But I need to know where you came from and why the hell you were in that store.”

He studied me for a moment, then tilted his head slightly with a shy smile. “We could stay together if we were heading to the same place though.”

“Answer the questions.” I didn’t even look at him, he let out a quiet breath.

“I was in Missouri when all of this started, but my last stop was Atlanta, a few weeks ago, until I got caught in a horde.”

That made me pause just slightly. “Yeah, there isn’t much to see there anymore.” I mumbled.

His lips twitched faintly, like he almost smiled. “We were looking for a friend’s family.”

“You were in a group then?” I turned halfway toward him now.

“Kind of. Look, this conversation is starting to feel a bit unbalanced.” His eyes narrowed slightly. “I want to ask some questions too.”  

“I’m not telling you my name.”

“Alright, might as well call you cutie then.” He leaned back against the counter, watching me with a teasing smile. I glared at him, but he didn’t look particularly worried. “Where are you heading, cutie?”

I took a deep inhale, hesitating for a moment before finally answering. “New York.”

“New—” He blinked and straightened slightly. “Are you insane? That place must be infested with dead people.”

I shrugged faintly, pulling the waffles off the pan. “Well, then I hope you’ve got somewhere else to be, cause I wasn’t planning on taking you with me anyway.”

“Maine.” He blurted out on a whim. “I’m going to Maine... I think my group is heading there. If we keep up a pace, maybe I could still find them in New York.”

“Sure, and you remembered that five seconds ago?”

“Please, let me come with you. I promise I won’t slow you down.” His voice got quieter, a little bit raw. “I don’t want to be alone.”

The room fell quiet again, only the small fire crackled between us, somewhere far outside the wind dragged across the empty highway. He didn't try to convince me about his skills, or how essential he was, or how I would regret this. Just laying bare the loneliness disease we had all been dealing with, way before the whole apocalypse started.

—

Morning crept slowly over the empty highway, pale and thin like watered-down milk spreading across the sky. The world had that damp chill that came with early autumn mornings, a faint mist hovered over the fields on both sides of the road, blurring the distant tree lines into gray.

The asphalt stretched ahead of us in a long cracked path, endless and silent, except for the steady rhythm of boots against pavement. Three days, that was how long it had been since the Waffle House. Three days since I decided, against every survival instinct I had, to let that guy walk with me.

Maybe it was the ankle, or the way he hadn’t complained much while limping along the first day, or because two sets of eyes were better than one, perhaps I just grew tired of hearing my own thoughts echo in empty buildings every night. Still that didn't mean he wasn’t annoying. Because for hell’s sake, he absolutely was.

Hyun walked a few steps behind me now, his limp noticeably better than it had been two days ago. He’d found himself a walking stick out of a broken broom handle we picked in a shed yesterday, though he mostly spun it around rather than used it.

“You know,” he started, voice carrying easily through the quiet air, “most people would be happy to have a teammate in the current situation.”

“Most people are dead.”

“Fair point.” A few seconds passed. “You still haven’t told me your name.”

I sighed through my nose, not slowing down. “Not happening.”

“You know I kind of gave you a hint of what mine could be.”

“I didn’t ask for it.”

“Hyun,” he repeated anyway, cheerful as ever. “Just in case you forgot.”

“I didn’t.”

He kicked a loose pebble across the road. “You’ve got trust issues, cutie.”

I stopped walking and turned around, the rifle rested comfortably in my hands, its barrel pointing loosely toward his legs.

“Keep calling me that and you’re walking the rest of the way with one less kneecap.”

He raised both hands in surrender with a giggle, grinning proudly for getting a reaction out of me. “Alright, alright. Message received, captain.”

I turned and kept walking, behind me I could practically feel the smile still sitting on his face. God, he was annoying. At least we hadn’t seen many walkers around, just a few scattered ones in the distance, but now the fields stretched wide and empty around us, only the yellow grass swaying softly in the breeze and a rusted billboard leaning crooked near the roadside ahead. 

We walked in silence for a while after that, boots crunching lightly over gravel whenever the pavement broke apart. The sun was higher, after a while we stepped off the highway and cut through an open field to avoid a small group of walkers wandering near a crashed truck. Tall grass brushed against our legs while the wind carried away their morbid groaning.

Hyun walked a little closer now, careful with his steps. “You know,” he said after a moment, “you’re surprisingly patient.”

I snorted. “Tell me about it.”

“Exactly. Most people would’ve shot me already.”

“I still might. Our journey isn’t over yet.” He laughed quietly.

The tree line at the edge of the field got closer and we stopped there for a short break, a fallen log sat hidden in the leaves, perfect enough to sit on. I dropped my bag beside it and took a long drink from my water bottle. Hyun sat across from me, stretching his injured leg carefully, the bandage was dirty but holding, still he noticed me glancing at it.

“It’s hanging on," he said.

“Barely.”

“Optimism suits you, cutie.” I ignored that.

The wind rustled through the branches above us, scattering a few leaves onto the ground between us. For a while neither of us spoke, until he shifted on his seat, a bit too hesitant for someone like him.

“Why have you been walking alone all this time?” 

I stared out through the trees, watching the empty road beyond the field, my fingers traced the edge of the bottle slowly as I let out a tired exhale.

“A couple of months after all this started, my boyfriend and I found a group of people on our way upstate… unfortunately, at the time we didn’t know people could be very shitty in such situations and basically use people as bait for walkers.” A silent leaf drifted down between us. “I think being alone isn’t always the worst choice in a world like this.”

“Sorry.” Hyun’s voice softened. 

I shrugged. “Did your group leave you behind too?”

He shook his head slowly. “I kinda got lost actually.” I turned my head at him again. 

“We were running from a horde,” he continued after a moment. “Then one of them got stuck behind. I went back to help him, but when I was coming back I had to take a different path to get rid of the walkers.”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “When I finally realized where I was… the only path I had in front of me was forward.” His voice dropped slightly. “Didn’t see them again after that.”

The forest around us creaked quietly with the wind. “Do you think they are looking for you?” I asked.

Hyun stared down at the dirt for a moment. “I don’t know anymore. A part of me wants to believe they aren’t, that they moved on and are following the plan.” A faint smile tugged at the corner of his mouth, though it didn’t seem quite genuine. “But another part kind of wants them to be out there looking for me, or just waiting for me to come back.”

“How many are there in the group?”

“Eight, counting with me.”

“Not much.”

He smirked faintly. “Just enough to cause a bit of trouble.”

For a moment we just looked at each other, the wind shifted through the trees again. Somewhere far off in the distance, a lone walker groaned faintly, and Hyun leaned back slightly on his hands.

“You know,” he said, studying me carefully, “for someone who doesn’t want to tell me their name, you’re getting pretty chatty.”

I stood up with a scoff, slinging my bag back over my shoulder and offering him a hand to help him up. He looked at it, a flicker of surprise crossing his eyes before a small smirk curled on his lips, his touch was warm and he got up with a small grunt. 

We stepped back out of the trees together and onto the road again, a long way to the north awaited us. The sky above stretched wide and pale blue, the kind of empty sky that made the world feel bigger than it should be, and for the first time in a long while, walking didn’t feel quite so lonely anymore.

—

A few days later, rain started falling sometime around morning and kept going until night settled. A thin mist still clung into the air while both our clothes clung miserably to our skin, boots squelched with every step, and cold rainwater ran down the back of my neck in the worst imaginable way.

A school appeared through the gray haze of rain like a forgotten memory of a world that didn’t exist anymore, a faded sign above the entrance still read Bridgeway Elementary. Hyun wiped rain from his eyes and looked up at it, tracing his gaze all over its brick walls and shattered windows.

“Well… this feels quite promising,” he said, pushing more water out of his face. “It's like a scene from a horror movie.”

“Everything is a horror movie now,” I muttered and walked towards its tilted gates.

We pushed through the front doors carefully, the hallway smelled like old paper and mold, lockers lined the walls, some ripped from their hinges, as posters still clung to the boards full of faded motivational slogans. Children’s drawings covered the wall of one of the classrooms, bright suns and happy kittens, all of it frozen in time.

Hyun took a glance around. “No walkers,” he said quietly.

It felt safe enough to spend the night. Either way he went for a quick search around the whole school to check for any threats while I found a spot in the cafeteria to set up a quick camp and a small fire to dry our soaked clothes.

Luckily we had some dry spare clothes that we found in some abandoned shop on the road and managed to keep away from all the water. Hyun hadn’t come back from his search, so I set them on the side and peeled the soaked shirt away from my wet skin, cold air brushing across my nipples. 

I wrung the water from the fabric before tossing it over one of the tables, taking off one drenched piece after the other, staying only in my underwear. Before changing into the dry pieces, I decided to check on some bruises on my skin from the past few days, when a sudden squeaky sound echoed behind me. 

A chill ran all over my spine, making me quickly press the shirt against my chest and turn around just in time to see the blur of a shadow hiding behind the corner.

“Fuck! I’m sorry!” Hyun’s panicked voice cut through the awkward silence. “I thought you had changed already.”

A wave of heat spread through my whole face as I quickly put on the clothes. “It’s fine. You can come out now.” I mumbled, though my voice came out weaker than intended.

He approached me by the fire a bit hesitant. “That was…” He stopped himself. “You know, I think nudity is an overrated concept, humans are animals—”

“Go change in some fucking classroom, Hyun, and we’ll pretend it never happened.” I cut him over.

He nodded rapidly and turned to leave, not really looking into my eyes. Though I could notice just the smallest flicker in it after hearing his name come out of my mouth for the first time, surprising even me by how natural it felt on my lips.

Later that night, the rain eased into a soft drizzle, while the fire crackled quietly while our damp clothes hung from improvised lines. Sleep didn’t come easily anymore, though sometimes we could try to have a full night of it without having to take shifts all night long. Tonight, however, I tossed and turned for hours, feeling the sleep embrace me and drift away every now and then.

I finally let out a tired sigh and turned again to face Hyun’s side, only this time it was empty. He wasn’t usually one to stay still all night long, but he also wasn’t one to disappear in the middle of it either. Adrenaline spiked through my veins. There was no sound near the cafeteria, it all felt the same as when we came in. He could have heard something… or someone could have taken him.

The sky was still pitch black outside. I wasn’t sure how long he had been away, or for how many hours I managed to stay asleep. A few minutes passed in blood freezing silence, until worry finally crept in. 

The hallway stretched quiet and dark beyond the firelight. There was no apparent movement in the classrooms, near the stairs, not even on the playground outside. I reached the last room on the hallway and was about to turn back when I heard a strained groan cutting through the silence.

My entire body tensed. A walker? It didn’t sound like one. I decided to take a quick peek inside to check if there was someone inside.

He was sitting on one of the front row’s chairs as his body faced the door sideways, his legs were stretched in front of him. A few seconds later he shifted on his seat a bit breathless, an almost pained moan scratching through his throat again. One of his hands moved in a frantic motion on his lap, quickly adjusting his pants a bit downwards and bucking his hips up on the seat.

My heart pounded faster in my chest. None of that felt like it was really happening. Hyun adjusted the pace of his hand again, opening more of his zipper, revealing a bit more of the stiff member half covered by his large palm. I couldn’t see much of it besides its plump tip almost bursting through each stroke he made with his skilled hand. 

He covered his mouth with his other hand, hiding another moan as a fluid overflowed from his shaft in one long spurt, followed by another, and another, until he slumped his back on the chair at last, completely spent.

His hand still held on to his softening length, drawing slow circles on its middle with his thumb, feeling the aftershocks shiver their way through his more relaxed body now. The rise and fall of his heaving chest was enough to tell me how long he was in need to do that. In the fraction of a second his posture stiffened like he’d realized something embarrassing.

Heat crept up the back of my neck and I quickly stepped back from the door just as he was about to turn his head.

I heard ruffling inside the classroom and tip-toed as fast as I could back to my improvised sleeping bag, shutting my eyelids too tight. A few minutes later I heard the sound of Hyun’s feet scraping the dusty floor and settling down. I heard a shuffle of clothes behind me, where he must have turned away. My thighs pressed together agonizingly, dampness spreading all over my core, as my clit flickered in sync with my heartbeat underneath my underwear. God, it was going to be a long night.

—

A couple weeks later, we finally came across an open mall just a few miles outside New York. The parking lot stretched out like a gray desert, cracked and overtaken by weeds, shopping carts lay scattered everywhere, flipped on their sides and completely rusted.

Some smaller buildings stood around the mall, fast food places, a gas station, a small condo and a pharmacy, but most of the area was empty. Though the closer we got to the city, the more walkers we started seeing, not hordes yet but enough to make the air feel a bit too tight and our eyes a bit more alert.

We slipped inside the pharmacy through a half-broken glass door, stepping over the shattered pieces carefully. Shelves were mostly empty, the floor littered with old packaging and things long since picked through, still places like this sometimes had something left behind.

“Check the back cabinets,” I said quietly, scanning the aisles. “Painkillers, antiseptics, anything like that.”

“Roger that,” Hyun answered from somewhere to my right.

I moved slowly along the shelves, pushing aside boxes with the barrel of my rifle, scanning labels, gauze, expired cold medicine, vitamins nobody probably needed anymore.

“Oh, look what I found!” His voice suddenly rang out excitedly from the next aisle. I flinched slightly at the volume.

“Wh—” I stepped around the corner and immediately stopped. “For fuck’s sake.”

Hyun stood there holding an extra-large condom he’d pulled from a dusty box and had blown up like a balloon, kicking the transparent latex in his knees.

“Put that thing away,” I groaned. “We don't need it.”

“Says who? I might need it,” he said defensively, clutching it against his chest. “I mean it’s not my size, but we could use it for a lot of things—water recipient, a glove, suffocating our enemies. Use your imagination, there's like tons of it here.”

I stared at him. “Whatever. Focus on finding some medicine. Your leg is almost healed but it’s good to have extras just in case.”

“Yes, captain!” he answered and saluted me with the condom balloon, then proceeded to keep playing with it. God. I turned back toward the shelves, shaking my head annoyed, though I could feel the faintest smile tugging at the corner of my mouth.

“Why do I feel like we would hate each other in real life?” I said after a moment.

“What do you mean? This is real life.”

“You know what I mean, outside of this whole situation. Apart from our only thing in common being running from dead people.”

He hummed thoughtfully. “I don’t know. I kinda think I'd like meeting you in a ‘normal’ setting.”

I glanced back at him as he casually leaned against a shelf, still wobbling the stupid balloon on his hand.

“Maybe we wouldn’t want to talk with each other at first,” he continued. “But if we gave each other a chance we could've some great time together… we still can actually.” 

I felt a slight flush warming up my face and let out a small breath through my nose. “Yeah,” I admitted. “I guess I could say you’re kinda nice.”

Hyun stepped closer this time, a slow smirk spreading across his lips. “Well, look at that, am I finally breaking the ice wall?”

I rolled my eyes and turned back to the shelf. “Don’t get cocky.”

He opened his mouth to respond when the condom suddenly popped on his hands. The sound echoed in the quiet store. Both of us froze. For a second nothing happened. Then somewhere outside a low groan answered. My head snapped toward the front windows when another groan followed.

Hyun slowly turned his head toward me, “…that might’ve been a mistake,” he said quietly.

A shadow moved past the front glass while others followed. Walkers. Too fucking many of them. My stomach twisted in a knot. “Shit, shit, shit.”

The front door creaked as one of them pushed against it and another slammed into the glass beside it. More groans began echoing through the parking lot, calling in even more of them.

“Back door,” I said quickly. We ran towards it, boots crunching over broken plastic and scattered boxes.

Behind us the glass shattered as the first walker stumbled inside and their dreadful groaning filled the store. I shoved open the hallway door leading to the stockroom and we sprinted through it. Behind us the sound grew louder, more footsteps dragging across the tiles. 

The back exit door burst open as I slammed into it, we bolted out into the alley behind the building, but the noise had already spread. Walkers were turning the corner from the street, staggered between the nearby buildings.

“There!” I shouted, pointing to the small condo we saw earlier, circled by some tilted but apparently sturdy fence. It would have to do for now.

We ran towards it, the city skyline looming far ahead of us, silent towers rising above the horizon like broken skeletons. Our boots pounded against cracked pavement as we cut between buildings. A cluster of walkers stumbled out from a side street, Hyun shoved one aside with his shoulder.

“Keep going!” he yelled.

I sprinted ahead, we were almost there, until I realized the footsteps behind me were sounding further. I glanced back at his figure lagging behind, not by much, but his leg, even mostly healed, still slowed him down when we had to run like this.

A walker lunged toward him from the side. He shoved it back hard, but it cost him another step. My chest tightened. “Hyun!”

“Fucking go!” he shouted. “Don’t look back!”

Another walker grabbed him, he swung his crowbar and cracked its skull with a sickening crunch. I jumped over the fence and fell with a hard thud on the ground. Two walkers reached for him as he ducked between them and sprinted straight for the building. 

He jumped over the fence with a crooked move, and let out a sharp hiss as his shirt got ripped on the side. We ran into the first open apartment we could find, slamming the door shut together behind us.

Both of us collapsed against it, holding it closed as the sounds of walkers echoed outside but not near. The fence would keep them far away from us at least for a few hours.

Hyun bent over, gasping for air. “Okay,” he panted, “that was… not very nice.”

My heart was still hammering and for a moment I just stared at him, making sure he was actually there, alive, with me. I shoved his shoulder. “Don’t ever do that again, asshole.”

“Do what? The balloon? C’mon, it was funny before it exploded out of nowhere.”

“No. Falling behind like that.” His breathing slowed a little, then a small grin crept onto his face.

“Were you worried about me?”

I crossed my arms immediately. “I hate you.”

He laughed quietly, leaning back against the door. Outside the walkers continued groaning, but inside the abandoned apartment, for the moment, it was just the two of us, and the city waiting ahead.

Night painted the sky a deep, heavy blue. The city lights that once drowned the stars were long gone, leaving only darkness and a thin trace of constellations overhead. From the terrace you could still hear some walkers wandering below, distant groans drifting between the empty buildings, but most of them had already scattered, pulled away by other sounds.

Hyun had gone upstairs earlier to check the rest of the building for unpleasant surprises or any unlucky survivors hiding out in the shadows. I stayed behind, trying to make the place feel less like a ruin and more like somewhere two people could sleep without waking up with a knife to their throat.

A few minutes later his voice echoed down the stairwell. “Hey, cutie! Come check this out! You are not going to believe it.”

I dragged myself up the stairs, every muscle in my legs pulling tight beneath my skin after the long day we’d had, running from the dead still lingered in my bones.

I reached the top of the staircase and stepped into a small, unlit hallway. Hyun stood by the terrace door, holding it open, there was some blood in his hands. At first I didn’t understand what he was pointing at, when I finally saw it. The buckets, bowls, plastic containers of all sizes, lined up across the terrace floor, each one filled with rainwater.

Someone had clearly been collecting water here for a long time. Maybe they’d lived here, maybe they died, maybe they ran when the walkers flooded the streets. Either way, the water remained.

Hyun turned toward me with the widest grin I’d seen on his face in days. “Hell yeah, cutie. We are taking a bath today,” he cheered. “This is starting to feel like a five-star hotel!”

I let out a quiet laugh and for the first time in what felt like forever, the idea didn’t feel ridiculous.

We boiled what water we could over our small fire and carried the buckets inside. The bathroom tiles were cracked and the mirror fogged with age, but the tub still held water. Taking a bath in the apocalypse felt like a long distant dream, but when the warm water touched my skin, the tension that had lived in my shoulders for months finally loosened just a little.

Later we sat in the living room again, cleaner and less miserable. Hyun sat cross-legged in front of me, shirtless as I finished cleaning the cut he’d got when jumping over the rusted fence earlier. The wound stretched along his side, red but shallow, nothing life threatening. Still, infection kills faster than walkers sometimes.

“I think I’m feeling my blood being poisoned by the rust,” he said dramatically while I dabbed antiseptic against the cut. “You think I might die because of it?”

“I've seen worse.”

“I don’t remember if I ever took a tetanus boost.”

I tightened the bandage slightly. “I can take you back to the walkers so they can take care of it for you.”

“No, thanks.” He chuckled softly, leaning back on his hands, watching me for a moment. “Hey,” his voice softened a bit. “Are you sure you’re good? No scratches, wounds… bites or whatever?”

I frowned slightly, he looked away a bit embarrassed. “I didn't mean to listen, but I think I heard you crying in the bathroom,” he added gently. “And now you’re all quiet.”

My eyes glanced down at his bandage for a second and how my hands still lingered there. “I’m fine.” The words came out softer than I meant them to. “I just didn’t expect to get so attached to a stranger in this hellhole.”

“Ouch,” he laughed. “A stranger? Really? After all we’ve been through?”

“Shut up.” I pressed the bandage a little harder into the wound. 

“Ouch!” Silence slowly settled between us again, but it felt closer this time, more intimate than I remembered it being. Hyun looked like he wanted to say something, his fingers tapped nervously against the floor.

“Is it too weird if I… ask to kiss you right now?” he whispered. “Just to remember how it feels.”

I froze for a moment, his expression was serious, but there was something shy hiding underneath it. The world was ending, cities were full of walking corpses, and somehow he still looked nervous asking that.

My body leaned forward slowly, his eyes widened slightly as the distance between us disappeared. The kiss started soft, careful, like both of us were remembering something we hadn’t felt in a long time, the simple proof that someone else was still alive.

Hyun’s hand hesitated in the air before gently settling on my waist as mine slid up from his hard chest to the back of his neck. We shifted closer and with a soft tug he pulled me into his lap, where I adjusted both my legs on his sides and could feel his member hardening underneath his jeans against my core.

We both separated a bit breathless, a thin string of saliva breaking between us. He looked up at me with pleading eyes, chest heaving under my palms. I could feel the tension in his shoulders immediately as he hesitated for a second and pulled back slightly, cheeks flushing slightly in the dim firelight.

“Uh—” He reached behind him awkwardly and grabbed something from the pile of supplies near the wall, holding up with shaky hands a small square package. The condom pack from the pharmacy. He looked both embarrassed and a bit proud at the same time.

“I mean,” he said quickly. “I just thought, you know, better be prepared than not.” A nervous laugh escaped his lips.

I scoffed softly, lowering my forehead on his toned shoulder, biting my lower lip to hide my growing smirk. “You're unbelievable.” 

“Can you blame me? How lucky am I to find such a cutie in the middle of the apocalypse?”

“How unlucky am I to get stuck with such an annoying idiot in the middle of Armagedom?”

“Let me take you to heaven tonight then,” he whispered close to my ear. His large hands slipped under my tank top, caressing the skin on my back.

“Flirt,” I muttered against his skin, so warm under my lips, so alive. I planted a kiss on his neck, earning a small whimper out of his throat and a soft moan when I accidentally brushed against his bandage.

Our hands worked in sync while taking each other's remaining clothes. Under the flickering firelight I could see the soft definition of his muscled body, the lines that carved his chest all the way down to the stretched fabric of his underwear. Skilled fingers hooked around my panties and pulled it lower, taking in the scent of my desire after slowly tracing a line over my sticky core.

I pressed another wet kiss on his lips and helped him out of his underwear, finally releasing his rigid member, hanging heavy between us. He slid the condom around its girth, placing a steady palm over my hips and guiding his tip to my soaked entrance.

With a shaky breath I sinked slowly into it, feeling every inch of him filling me up until I reached his base. After a few hesitating movements, we both found a steady, slow rhythm, one that two people could only match after weeks walking beside each other. But his soft groans grew louder, my hands gripped his strong back, harmony didn’t matter anymore when there was only raw need left.

He wrapped his arms tighter around me, pressing our chest flush against each other. “It’s Hyunjin.” A teasing smile tugged on the corners of his mouth. “My name. In case you want to say it”

“Hyunjin…” I moaned, at last tasting his name on my tongue as we leaned for another sloppy kiss, lips trembling in his absence when he pulled away. “I’m…”

“You don’t have to.” Hyunjin pressed a finger over my lower lip, tracing a line down my chin and lifting it for me to meet his eyes. “I like calling you cutie.”

He angled his hips closer to mine again and I could feel my insides getting warmer, my walls pressing tighter around him, his throbbing length pulsing deeper with each ragged breath. A moan slipped from my throat, followed by his, and now all I could feel was his shivers under my fingertips, rolling from my skin to his, from his to mine. 

With gentle yet trembling palms, Hyunjin lowered me in my sleep without pulling away, slowly softening up inside me, but still not letting go of the grip on my flesh. Not when we were this close, this young, this alive.

—

The walk over the Narrows Bridge had been quieter than either of us expected. Walkers wandered through the outskirts of the city in slow drifting pockets, like ghosts pacing through the ruins of a world they barely remember. Burned-out cars clogged the streets leading deeper into the city. Some still had squirming corpses under their wheels, others were just abandoned, rust spreading over the metal like a slow infection.

But we made it through, step by step, and eventually the high buildings rose around us like a graveyard of steel. Tall towers stood silent against the pale sky, shadows stretching across the pavement filled with weeds and debris. Hyunjin stopped in the middle of the street and slowly turned in a circle.

“Okay,” he muttered. “I take back what I said before. Apart from the occasional walkers we gotta terminate… this place is actually insane.”

A small grin tugged on my lips as I adjusted the strap of my rifle on my shoulder. “Yeah, it still is.”

I kept walking while Hyunjin followed after a second. “So,” he continued. “Where exactly are we going? You’ve been talking about New York since day one. Are you going to tell me where the final destination is?”

“Coney Island.”

His eyebrows lifted. “The amusement park?”

I nodded and kept walking forward. He studied my face for a second. “Alright, let’s go then.”

My feet stopped in a halt. “Wait, you coming with me?”

He glared at me in disbelief. “Why wouldn’t I? Whatever’s there clearly matters to you.” He adjusted his crowbar against his shoulder with a smirk. “And before you say I don't have to. I want to. Just in case you need some extra help.”

The sound of the waves grew louder as we finally approached the pier. Coney Island looked like a dream someone had left out in the rain, the boardwalk stretched along the shoreline, rusted amusement rides towered over the empty park as wind carried the sound of seagulls above us. 

The place felt strangely peaceful while we walked slowly through the abandoned park until I eventually stopped near the old railing overlooking the beach. The sand stretched wide and empty below us, waves rolling endlessly toward the shore. 

Hyunjin leaned against it beside me, I stepped away and walked toward a small cluster of rocks near the edge of the boardwalk. He watched silently as I crouched down and brushed aside some sand and debris. My fingers found what I’d been hoping to find after all this time. A small metal box, half-buried, still exactly where I remembered leaving it.

He stepped closer. “What’s that?”

I opened it slowly, inside were some trinkets and two thin papers—amusement ride tickets.  For a moment all I could see was a memory, bright lights, music playing from the rides, my boyfriend laughing beside me while we argued about which ride to go on first.

Hyunjin didn’t have to ask anything to understand what it meant. We walked back to the railing and climbed up onto it, sitting side by side in silence while the waves rolled below us. The wind pushed gently against our faces, sky stretching wide and open above the water.

“I had my first kiss here,” I said quietly.

“Is that an invitation?”

“Fuck off.” I pushed him lightly, and we both laughed.

“Where to now?” He asked after a while.

“I have no idea.” Those words felt strange to say out loud, for months I’d been walking toward this place, this moment, and now it was over. “I thought some closure would be good, but now that I got it… I don't know what to do.”

Hyun leaned back slightly, holding tighter onto the railing. “Given how Chan likes to follow the plan,” he said thoughtfully, “he might be around this area though.”

I raised an eyebrow. “You make it sound like he’s predictable.”

“He kind of is.”

“Is that good or bad?”

“Depends on the day.” He chuckled.

We sat there for a few quiet minutes, when suddenly Hyunjin stiffened. His eyes sharpened and at first I thought he’d seen a walker, but his gaze wasn’t scanning the streets, it was focused somewhere behind us. Confusion flickered across his features and settled in disbelief.

“Hyunjin?” A faint voice carried across the empty boardwalk. Male, a bit rough from shouting, too familiar to his ears. “HYUNJIN!”

His eyes widened and his entire posture changed instantly. A figure emerged fully from between two abandoned food stands further ahead. Eight of them actually.

With a swift motion, Hyunjin jumped down from the railing so fast his boots nearly slipped on the wood. “No fucking way,” he muttered under his breath.

The guy in front of the group skidded to a stop just a few feet away, staring at Hyunjin like he’d just seen a corpse. He was tall, broad-shouldered, hair tied back messily. “Dude,” he said breathlessly. “What the hell?”

“Chan?” Hyunjin’s voice came out shaky and raw when he was suddenly grabbed by the shoulders and pulled into a rough hug.

“You idiot!” Chan shouted. “We thought you were dead!”

The others crowded around both immediately, laughing, crying, talking all at once. Relief exploded through the group while I quietly watched from afar as Hyunjin laughed for the first time in a way I had never heard before. Lighter, younger, like he’d stepped back into a life that existed before we met.

After a moment he looked over his shoulder toward me, our eyes met and for the first time since we started walking together, I realized something. I didn’t want to be alone anymore. I didn’t want to just survive until the world finally decided to swallow me. I wanted to stay with him until the end of time. Until his voice was the last thing I heard. He called me to come over.

Let us die young or let us live forever

We don’t have the power but we never say never

His girlfriend. You.

The woman who turns heads without even trying. The woman whose presence alone commands attention in any room you walks into.

And beyond your beauty, you carry a name of your own, a reputation that stands strong, even outside the world he dominates. You are well-known in Korea's motorbike racing scene, recognized across MotoGP circuits and even F1 automobile racetracks. In your world, you aren't just admired,  you're respected. Besides that's how you captivated him.

Which means that whenever the two of you step out together, the attention isn't his alone.

It never is.

Crowds gather, cameras flash, and voices rise, but they call for both of you. And more often than not, you find yourself surrounded by motorsport fans, a demographic overwhelmingly male, their curiosity and fascination directed entirely at you.

Ordinarily, this wouldn't be a problem.

Jisung understands fame. He lives in it. Just like you cater to your fans, he does the same. Accepting requests, playing along with harmless interactions, giving people moments they'll treasure. It's part of being an idol, especially one recognized worldwide. And you trust him. You trust that he knows where to draw the line, that he would never entertain anything that crosses boundaries.

But when the situation flips, when the attention is on you, something in him shifts.

Maybe it's just the way he is.

Jisung has always been affectionate, clingy in the softest, most endearing way. He craves closeness, constantly seeking your touch, your warmth, your presence. And you indulge him, because the way he asks, soft, pouty, almost shy, is far too cute to refuse.

Maybe that's also why jealousy comes so easily to him. It's not something he fully understands himself.

All he knows is that he doesn't like it, he doesn't like this feeling that creeps into his chest whenever your attention is pulled elsewhere. The tightness, the unease, the quiet anxiety that builds when you're doing interviews, answering questions that involve him. He worries they'll exhaust you, that the constant scrutiny will wear you down and somehow, that fear loops back to him.

But what unsettles him the most is seeing you surrounded by others.

Especially now.

Especially when you're the only female racer listed as a participant for the upcoming Grand Prix Championship next year.

He doesn't blame you.

He can't.

He knows better than anyone, just how breathtaking you are. How you seem to shine even brighter when you're on your bike. You become even more breathtaking when you're on your bike, clad in full racing gear, confidently gripping the handlebars and revving the engine until it roars. God only knows the inappropriate thoughts that race through his mind when he sees you like that. His imagination spirals, conjuring up vivid scenarios of making love to you right there on your motorbike.

Something dangerous.

His thoughts spiral, vivid and uncontrollable, each one more inappropriate than the last. Images that make his pulse quicken, his mind cloud, his restraint falter. And even that—even that—isn't enough to quiet the restless heat that builds inside him whenever he sees others crowding around you.

Don't get him wrong.

You satisfy him in ways no one else ever could. You give him everything, more than enough, more than he could ever ask for.

But in moments like these... He doesn't just want reassurance.

He wants to pull you aside, claim your lips, and hear you say it, again and again, hear you whisper how much you love making him feel good.

He knows he's being a little unreasonable. A little whiny.

But he can't help it.

Because right now, he's stuck watching a broadcast, one that shows a man, a stranger, with his hand resting far too comfortably on your waist. Your bare waist, exposed by a fitted dress that hugs your figure perfectly. The fabric glitters under the venue lights, shimmering with every movement you make, drawing attention you don't even seem to notice.

And it drives him insane.

'Where are you?' is the question burning in his mind that feels heavier than it should.

As one of Korea's top female MotoGP racers, you've earned more than just recognition. You've become a brand ambassador for Givenchy. That alone grants you invitations to exclusive fashion events, placing you in spaces far removed from racetracks and roaring engines.

Which is exactly where you are now.

Or rather—where you were.

Seated along the entrance runway, dressed to perfection, accompanied by a high-profile F1 racer assigned as your partner for the evening. Not by choice, but by obligation. Givenchy is one of your biggest sponsors and declining wasn't an option, no matter how uncomfortable the arrangement made you.

And Jisung hates it.

He hates the way that man's arm drapes over your waist like it belongs there. Hates how unbothered you seem, how natural it looks from the outside. It pulls at something deep in his chest, a feeling he recognizes all too well.

Jealousy.

But this time, it isn't soft. It isn't playful or easy to brush off.

It burns.

The reporter's question asking about your relationship with your event partner only makes it worse. Because why would they even ask that? The entire world knows you're dating him. A global star, a worldwide known idol, a singer, a rapper, a dancer, everything you could have name him for, he is. Someone who has never once hidden how much you mean to him.

It feels absurd.

And yet, here it is.

The anger bubbling inside him is sharper now, heavier, no longer the kind you can soothe with a kiss or a laugh. Because to him, this isn't harmless anymore.

This feels like a boundary being crossed.

The TV continues to play, but Jisung barely registers it anymore.

Instead, he reaches for his phone.

Jisung: Aren't you taking too long training today? It's already 11 PM, Y/N. Aren't you coming home?

Luckily, the broadcast is from last week. You've already returned from Milan days ago. Still, the lingering images refuse to leave his mind.

Fifteen minutes pass before his phone finally lights up. And when it does, his shoulders sink. A quiet sigh slips past his lips as he reads your reply, his mouth forming a small pout without him realizing it.

You: Hi, Sungie baby. Sorry, I'm still out having a late-night dinner with the team. I'll be home in an hour, okay? If you're tired, you can sleep already.

His gaze drifts from the screen to the full-body mirror standing in your shared room. He studies his reflection.

There's nothing wrong with how he looks... right?

His brows knit together slightly, lips pressing into a thin line as unease settles deep in his chest. His thoughts spiral again, unwelcome, intrusive.

Is that guy there too?

The question alone makes his stomach twist. A soft, involuntary whine escapes him before he can stop it.

This feeling, he hates it.

Frustration builds, slow and suffocating, leaving him restless in his own skin. His legs press together, shifting unconsciously as he tries to ground himself. It's a habit he picked up after dating you, something you taught him, a way to redirect overwhelming emotions into something he could manage.

He was never good at expressing himself.

Not even with his members.

But this, this physical outlet, it reminds him that what he's feeling is real, that it needs to be dealt with before it consumes him completely.

Still, it isn't enough.

Not tonight.

His fingers tighten around his phone as he types again.

Jisung: Baby, please... I need you. Come home.

Jisung felt like everything around him was spinning out of control. The room seemed smaller, the air heavier, as he tried to calm himself down. He sat on the edge of the bed, his mind racing with thoughts he couldn't escape. Every time he closed his eyes, he pictured you, smiling, laughing, surrounded by people he didn't know. The idea of you out there, enjoying yourself without him, made his chest tighten with jealousy and longing.

He tried to focus on his breathing, hoping it would help settle his nerves, but it wasn't enough. The frustration inside him kept growing, bubbling up until he couldn't ignore it anymore. His hand moved slowly at first, searching for some kind of comfort, something to ground him when his emotions felt too big to handle. Each movement was a small attempt to distract himself from the ache in his heart and the worries in his mind.

But the thoughts wouldn't leave him alone. He imagined you at dinner, your eyes shining as you talked with your friends and teammates, your laughter ringing out in a way that always made him smile. He wondered if you missed him, if you thought about him as much as he thought about you. The idea that someone else might catch your attention, even for a moment, made his stomach twist with anxiety.

A shaky breath escaped his lips as his grip tightened, the feeling sending a wave of sensation through his body. He let out a soft, needy whine, his movements growing faster as he tried to chase away the loneliness that clung to him. The room was quiet except for the sound of his breathing and the faint hum of the city outside, but in his mind, everything was loud—his worries, his longing, his need for you.

He wished you were there with him, to hold him and tell him everything was okay. He missed the way your presence could calm him, the way your touch made him feel safe and loved. All he wanted was for you to come home, to wrap your warm hands around him instead of him using his own and remind him that he was still the most important person in your world.

A soft moan slipped from Jisung's lips, his teeth gently biting down on his lower lip as his head pressed deeper into the bed. His body arched slightly, a wave of sensation twisting in his stomach, a feeling he knew all too well. This was what he was chasing, the release that would help him forget his worries, even if just for a moment. But as his hand moved, he realized it wasn't the same. The pleasure was there, but it felt empty compared to when you were the one touching him.

He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the loneliness and focus on the fantasy in his mind. He imagined it was your hand moving up and down his length, your soft skin gliding over him, your gentle touch sending sparks through his body. In his mind, he could see your face flushed and smiling, eyes shining with affection as you brought him closer and closer to the edge. The memory of your touch, your warmth, and the way you always knew exactly how to make him feel good filled his thoughts, making his breath hitch and his body tremble.

A deep groan rumbled in his chest, mixing with another moan as the fantasy grew more vivid. He could almost feel your lips on his skin, hear your sweet voice whispering his name, and see the love in your eyes as you watched him fall apart for you. Even though he was alone, the thought of you was enough to make his heart race and his body ache with longing. All he wanted was for you to be there, to turn his lonely night into something beautiful and real.

Or was he really alone?

Suddenly, he heard your voice so clear and real that it sent a shiver down his spine.

"Sungie?" The sound of your gentle call echoed in his mind, so vivid that for a moment, he almost believed you were right there beside him. The illusion made his body tremble, his grip tightening just a little more as his hand moved faster, desperate to reach that peak he craved.

He let out a shaky, breathless moan, his thoughts tangled between reality and fantasy.

"God, I feel so sick," he whispered, voice barely more than a gasp. "I can hear your voice so clearly. I'm so fucking dirty. Imagining you while I fuck my fist on myself." The confession spilled from his lips, raw and honest, as he chased the pleasure that only thoughts of you could bring. The line between loneliness and longing blurred, and all he could do was surrender to the feeling, wishing you were truly there to hear every sound and see every part of him that belonged only to you.

"Han Jisung."

The sound of your voice, sharp and unmistakable, cut through the haze of his thoughts. He jolted upright, eyes flying open in shock, only to feel your hand wrap firmly around his wrist, halting his movements. For a split second, he wondered if he was still dreaming, but the warmth of your touch and the stern look in your eyes told him this was very real.

You stood at the edge of the bed, one knee pressed into the mattress as you leaned closer. Your eyebrow arched in a silent question, your gaze steady and unyielding as you looked down at him. The room seemed to shrink around them, the air thick with tension and surprise.

As the reality of the moment settled in, Jisung felt a rush of heat flood his face, creeping down his neck and burning across his ears. Embarrassment washed over him in waves, leaving him speechless and exposed. He could barely meet your eyes, his heart pounding so loudly he was sure you could hear it.

"What do you think you're doing?" you asked, your voice calm but edged with clear disappointment. The tone sent a jolt through his body, making his breath catch in his throat. There was something about the way you spoke, firm, but with a hint of teasing, that sent warmth spiraling down his spine.

Oh, he was in trouble. And somehow, that realization only made his heart race faster.

"Fuck—baby, I—" Jisung's voice broke the silence, thick with urgency and barely-contained excitement. His hands fumbled at the sheets as he tried to push himself upright, his chest rising and falling with quick, shallow breaths. The anticipation in his eyes was unmistakable, pupils blown wide as he looked up at you, lips parted in a desperate attempt to form words that never quite made it past his tongue.

But before he could fully sit up, your hand pressed firmly against his chest, pinning him back down to the mattress. The sudden contact sent a shiver through his body, and you could feel the rapid thrum of his heartbeat beneath your palm. He froze, caught between the instinct to obey and the overwhelming urge to move, to touch, to close the distance between you.

"Did I say you could move?" you asked, your voice low and commanding, each word laced with authority. You leaned in closer, letting your breath ghost over his skin as you held him in place. "I asked you a question—what exactly do you think you're doing?"

Jisung's eyes flickered with a mixture of surprise and exhilaration, his excitement barely contained beneath the surface. His fingers curled into the sheets, knuckles white, as he struggled to keep still under your gaze.

The sigh that left your lips made Jisung's heart pound in his chest. For a moment, he didn't know what to feel. Part of him was excited because you were finally home with him, and he had missed you all day. Just being near you filled him with warmth and happiness.

But at the same time, he felt a little scared. He knew that sigh very well. It was the kind of sigh you made when you were in control, when you expected him to listen and obey. Jisung could sense your dominance in the room, and it made him nervous in a way that sent a shiver down his spine.

He lay there, watching you closely, unsure if he should let himself enjoy your presence or prepare himself to follow your every command. The room felt quiet and tense as he waited to see what you would do next, his feelings caught between excitement and the thrill of being under your control.

"So this is why you wanted me to come home?" you said, your voice low and teasing as you slowly climbed up onto the bed. "Just so you could show me how desperate you are, touching yourself and pretending it was me? I didn't think you were such a needy little slut." The words came out as a soft hum, but there was a sharp edge to them that made Jisung's breath hitch.

You let out a huff, shrugging off your racer jacket and tossing it carelessly across the room. It landed somewhere out of sight, but you didn't care about it now, your attention was focused entirely on Jisung. The air seemed to grow warmer as you moved closer, your presence filling the space with a sense of control and anticipation.

Jisung could only whine in response, his voice shaky and full of longing. His head fell back against the bed, eyes fluttering shut as a wave of weakness washed over him. Every muscle in his body seemed to go limp, surrendering to the feeling of being completely at your mercy. He needed you, needed your touch, your approval, your dominance, more than anything else in that moment.

The memory of his earlier denied orgasm still lingered, making his skin feel hot and his nerves buzz with restless energy. The frustration and need built up inside him, making every second without your touch feel like an eternity. All he could do was wait, trembling with anticipation, hoping you would finally give him what he craved.

"What is it this time, Sungie, hm?" you began, your voice gentle but laced with playful curiosity. Your hand moved slowly, fingers gliding up and down his leg in a soft, almost reverent caress. The touch was teasing, light enough to make his skin tingle, but firm enough to remind him of your presence and control. Each stroke sent a shiver through Jisung, making him even more aware of how much he needed you.

"I know you wouldn't be this needy for no reason," you continued, your tone both comforting and teasing as you watched his reactions closely. "Did someone make you upset today, pretty boy? Is that why you're like this?" you asked, your words wrapping around him like a warm blanket, both soothing and stirring him up at the same time.

Your hand slowly traveled higher, leaving a trail of warmth as it moved from his thigh up to his stomach. When your palm finally rested there, Jisung let out a shaky breath, his body trembling beneath your touch. The anticipation in the air was thick, every gentle movement making him feel more exposed, more vulnerable, and more desperate for your attention. He looked up at you with wide, pleading eyes, his lips parted as if he wanted to answer but couldn't quite find the words. All he could do was breathe you in, his chest rising and falling with each shaky exhale, completely at your mercy and loving every second of it.

"No," he finally managed to say, his voice barely more than a whisper, trembling as it broke the heavy silence between you. It took him several long, shaky breaths to steady himself, each inhale and exhale a desperate attempt to anchor his mind and body in the present. His chest rose and fell rapidly, betraying the storm of sensation that threatened to overwhelm him.

"I'm not upset," he added, though the words seemed to catch in his throat. His eyes squeezed shut, lashes fluttering against flushed cheeks, and his mouth hung open in a silent gasp. The moment your hand began its slow, deliberate ascent along his skin, he shuddered, every muscle in his body tensing and then melting beneath your touch. His breath hitched, and a soft, involuntary whimper escaped him, so quiet you might have missed it if you weren't so close.

Jisung was hypersensitive, every gentle brush of your fingers sent sparks racing across his nerves, making his skin feel electric and alive. The warmth of your palm, the feather-light pressure of your fingertips, the way you traced invisible patterns along his body, it all left him trembling, teetering on the edge of surrender. You could feel the way his body responded to you, how he arched ever so slightly into your touch, seeking more even as he seemed almost overwhelmed by the intensity of it all. If you wanted, you could probably unravel him completely, make him fall apart with nothing but your hands and your patience. He was so close to the edge, so ready to give in, but you knew that wasn't what either of you needed right now.

Instead, you leaned in, your voice soft and coaxing, threading through the haze of sensation that clouded his mind. "Come on, Ji," you murmured, your breath warm against his ear. "I need your words right now. I know you crave my touch, but I need to know what goes on that pretty little head of yours."

He swallowed hard, his Adam's apple bobbing as he tried to find his voice, his hands clutching at the sheets as if they were the only thing keeping him grounded. Every inch of him was alive with sensation, every nerve ending singing beneath your touch, and yet he tried desperately to give you what you asked for, to let you in, even as his body trembled with anticipation and need.

“I was watching TV,” he began, his voice breaking and trembling, each word barely more than a whisper. The confession seemed to cost him, as if speaking aloud made the feelings all the more real and raw.

You noticed the fine sheen of sweat gathering on his forehead, glistening even though the air conditioner was humming steadily, filling the room with a cool breeze. Despite the chill, Jisung’s skin was flushed, his body taut with tension. He clung to himself, fisting the bed sheet so hard knuckles white as he fought the urge to reach for you, to close the distance and lose himself in your presence.

His eyes darted away, unable to meet yours, and his lips parted as he struggled to continue. “I saw you… with someone. At that fashion event.” His words came out haltingly, each syllable heavy with emotion. “I was pissed,” he admitted, the admission slipping out in a shaky exhale, as if the anger and jealousy had been simmering beneath the surface, waiting for a chance to escape.

You could feel the vulnerability radiating from him, the way his body trembled not just from your touch, but from the storm of feelings swirling inside him. Every detail, the sweat on his brow, the way his breath caught, the tension in his muscles spoke of how deeply he felt, how sensitive and responsive he was to both your presence and the memories that haunted him.

“Hm? So you touch yourself out of frustration instead of waiting for me to come home? Is that it?” you asked, your voice smooth and sweet, but with an undertone that sent a shiver down his spine. The sound of your words seemed to wrap around him, warm and sticky like honey, but he could sense the disappointment beneath your gentle tone.

Jisung’s head shook quickly, messy hair brushing against his damp forehead. His cheeks burned with heat, and he could feel the flush spreading down his neck. He whimpered softly, the sound high and needy, almost like a lost puppy desperate for comfort. The air in the room felt thick, heavy with anticipation, and every breath he took was laced with the scent of you, familiar, comforting, and intoxicating.

“I—I know. I’m sorry. I couldn’t help it. I needed you so much. I was jealous. I was—oh my god!” his voice trembled, words tumbling out in a rush, each syllable shaky and raw. The moment your hand finally wrapped around his neglected cock, a loud, broken moan tore from his lips. The sound echoed in the room, bouncing off the walls. It sounded so loud and filthy he knows if someone passed by your door they could hear it. But he cares less about any of that right now.

His skin tingled everywhere you touched, nerves sparking with every slow, deliberate movement of your hand. Goosebumps rose along his arms and legs, and his hips jerked helplessly, chasing the friction you gave him. The sheets beneath him felt cool and rough against his back, a sharp contrast to the heat pooling in his belly. His hands clutched the fabric so tightly his knuckles ached, grounding himself as waves of pleasure rolled through him.

“Fuck—fuck! Yes! Please. Faster, please. Please, I need you. I need it!” he begged, his voice cracking, breath coming in short, ragged gasps. The air was filled with the sound of his desperate pleas, the slick sound of your hand moving, and the soft hum of the air conditioner that did nothing to cool the fire burning inside him.

Sweat beaded on his forehead, trickling down his temples, mixing with the salty taste on his lips as he licked them unconsciously. His thighs trembled, muscles tightening and relaxing with every stroke. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest, loud and frantic, and every sense was overwhelmed by you, your scent, your touch, your voice whispering sweet nothings in his ear.

Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes, blurring his vision, not from pain but from the sheer intensity of sensation. “Please, I can’t— I need you so much. I missed you. I missed this. I missed feeling you, being with you,” he choked out, voice thick and hoarse.

You leaned in, your lips brushing the shell of his ear, your breath warm and soft against his skin. “You want me hm? Want me to touch you like this?,” you whispered, asking, your words a gentle anchor in the storm of feeling. Your hand moved a little faster, and he gasped, his back arching, body pressing closer to you, desperate for more.

You pulled your head back just enough to watch his beautiful, pleasure-stricken face. His eyes fluttered, lips parted, every expression raw and unguarded. You took in how responsive he was, how every anxious breath and frustrated tremor seemed to melt away under your touch. You didn’t like seeing him so wound up, but you loved showing him that no one else could make you feel this wild, this desperate, this thirsty for more.

“Or maybe you wanted something more?”

Leaning down, you brought your face close to his cock, close enough to feel the heat radiating from him. You pressed a gentle kiss to the tip, then began to give soft, kittenish licks to his sensitive, flushed head. Each flick of your tongue drew out a new series of wanton, broken moans from him, his voice echoing with need and surrender.

He cried out your name, voice trembling, body shaking as he hovered right on the edge of release. One of his hands shot up, fingers tangling in your hair, gripping tight as if you were his only anchor. You could feel the tension in his hold, the way he fought the urge to take control, to guide your mouth the way he craved. But he held back, trusting you, letting you set the pace, his body trembling with restraint and overwhelming pleasure.

“Come on, Sungie. Tell me what you want. Tell me how I can ease that feeling in your chest. You need to give me words or I won’t know what to do,” you cooed, your voice soft and coaxing as you urged him to speak, just like you always did.

When he was overwhelmed by so many emotions—anxiety, longing, frustration—finding his voice was never easy. You could see it in the way his brows knit together, in the way his lips parted but no words came out at first. But you were patient. You were always patient with him, always gentle when it came to drawing something out of him. You waited, your touch reassuring, your presence a steady anchor as you watched him struggle to put his feelings into words, knowing that with time and care, he would let you in.

Jisung’s breath came in shaky bursts, his chest rising and falling as he tried to gather himself. For a moment, the only sounds in the room were his ragged breathing and the soft hum of the air conditioner. His fingers tightened in your hair, grounding himself, and his eyes squeezed shut as he fought to find his voice.

Finally, he managed to speak, his words trembling but honest. “I want you… I want to feel you. I want you to take me, please. I want to forget everything else—just you and me. I need you to make me feel good, to make all this jealousy and frustration go away. Please, I need you so much.”

His confession hung in the air, raw and vulnerable, and you felt your heart swell with affection and desire. You pressed a gentle kiss to his trembling thigh, letting him know you heard him, that you understood.

“Good boy,” you whispered, your voice warm and soothing. “Thank you for telling me, Sungie. I’ll take care of you now.”

You sat up, your hands moving to the hem of your shirt. Slowly, you peeled it over your head, letting the fabric slide from your skin and fall to the floor. The cool air kissed your bare skin, sending a shiver down your spine. Jisung’s eyes fluttered open, dark and hungry, drinking in every inch of you as you undressed for him. You hooked your thumbs into the waistband of your bottoms, sliding them down your hips and legs, leaving yourself bare and exposed in the soft light of the room.

You could feel his gaze on you, hot and reverent, his breath catching as he took in the sight of you. For a moment, you let him look, let him see how much you wanted him too, how much you were willing to give.

Then, you moved to straddle his hips, your bare skin meeting his, the heat between you almost unbearable. You leaned in, your lips brushing his ear as you whispered, “Just relax. Let me give you everything you need.”

You reached down, guiding his length to your entrance, the anticipation making your heart race. As you slowly sank down onto him, you watched his face, how his eyes widened with pleasure, how his mouth fell open in a gasp.

You moved slowly at first, letting him feel every inch, every pulse of warmth and pressure wrapped around his cock. His moans grew louder, more desperate, his body arching up to meet yours, chasing every sensation you gave him. You set a steady rhythm, rolling your hips, your hands roaming his chest, his arms, his face, touching, soothing, claiming.

“Is this what you wanted, baby?” you murmured, your voice thick with affection and desire. “Do you feel better now? Do you feel how much I want you, how much I love you?”

Jisung could only nod, lost in the pleasure, his voice breaking as he gasped your name again and again. Every movement, every sound, every touch was for him, and you made sure he knew it, made sure he felt cherished, wanted, and completely yours.

Beyond anything else, you gate it when he felt insecure of himself so you'd do anything to remind him that it was him you fell for and will continue falling for.

You began to move faster, your hips rolling with a new urgency, the rhythm between you growing wild and desperate. The sound of your bodies moving together filled the room, blending with the soft, broken cries that spilled from Jisung’s lips. His hands gripped your waist, fingers digging in as he tried to ground himself, tried to hold on just a little longer.

Jisung’s eyes squeezed shut, his brows furrowed in concentration. He was trying so hard to edge himself, to stay right on the edge, to savor every second of your touch. He bit his lip, swallowing back the moans that threatened to escape, his breath coming in short, shaky bursts. Every muscle in his body was tense, trembling with the effort to keep himself from falling over the edge.

But you could feel how close he was, how his hips jerked up to meet yours, how his thighs quivered beneath you, how his voice broke every time you moved just a little faster, a little deeper. The pleasure was overwhelming, building inside him like a tidal wave, impossible to contain.

“Please—wait, I—” he gasped, voice trembling, but the words dissolved into a desperate moan as you tightened your grip on his shoulders and rode him harder. His hands slid up your back, clutching at you, his body arching up as he tried to hold on, tried to keep himself from letting go.

But it was too much. The heat, the pressure, the way you looked at him, so full of love and want, made it impossible to resist. His body betrayed him, hips bucking up into you as his control slipped away.

“Oh god, I can’t—please, I can’t hold it—” he cried, voice cracking, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes from the sheer intensity of it all. The pleasure crashed over him in waves, stealing his breath, making his whole body shake as he finally let go, unable to stop himself any longer.

He clung to you, voice lost in a string of gasps and broken cries, every nerve ending lit up as he came undone beneath you. His head felt dizzy, so loght, his eyes rolling at the back of his head with how intense his orgasm was.

You followed soon after, your own pleasure of reaching the top, you held him close, riding out the waves together.

You collapsed onto his chest, both of you breathless and trembling, hearts still racing as you clung to each other in the quiet, haze of satisfaction and love.

As the intensity faded, you and Jisung lay together, bodies close and skin still warm. The room was quiet except for the soft sound of your breathing and the gentle hum of the air conditioner. Jisung’s arms were wrapped around you, holding you with a tenderness that spoke louder than words. You could feel his heartbeat slowly returning to normal, his chest rising and falling in time with yours.

You reached up and brushed a few strands of hair from his forehead, your fingers gentle and loving. You pressed a soft kiss to his temple, letting him know you were there, fully present with him. For a while, you just stayed like that, sharing the silence, letting the comfort of being together fill the space between you.

After a moment, Jisung’s voice broke the quiet. It was small and a little shaky. “I’m sorry for being jealous,” he whispered. “Sometimes I just get scared. I know you meet a lot of people, and I worry that maybe one day you’ll find someone better than me.”

You turned to face him, cupping his cheek in your hand so he could see the honesty in your eyes. “Sungie, you’re the only one I want. No matter who I meet or work with, no one could ever take your place. You make me feel things no one else ever could. You’re special to me. My heart belongs to you.”

He looked at you, his eyes shining with emotion, searching your face for any sign of doubt. You smiled softly and leaned in, pressing your forehead to his, pressing him a soft kiss on his lips he always love. “Even if I’m surrounded by a crowd, even if I have to stand next to other people, I always choose you. You’re the one I love, the one I come home to.”

Jisung’s lips trembled, and a small, relieved smile appeared. He pulled you even closer, holding you tight, as if your words were the only thing he needed to feel safe and loved.

You stroked his cheek with your thumb, him leaning his head against your touch, your voice gentle and sure. “I love you, Jisung. Only you. No one else could ever replace you.”

He let out a soft breath, his arms tightening around you. “I love you too. Thank you for loving me.”

Wrapped up in each other, you both felt a deep sense of peace. In that quiet moment, you knew that no matter what happened, your love for each other would always be enough.

permanent taglist: @hime-honne, @dxllyhorror, @thepoeticpurplepotato, @lynsbng, @leewayout, @moldypancakes, @stag-on-the-moon, @zosauce, @kloversung, @1-aria-1, @vxyselectric, @urfavleobiscuit, @written-by-music, @fanficwriter5, @minniebitesfr, @pedropacals0l0s, @stepout-09-15, @noodleboyluke, @iamapricklypear, @whatdoyouwanttocallmefor, @blindspotquokka, @f1ln4dr3cl16v33, @docedecoco, @wandabillywrites, @linocvp1d, @33peach33, @jinklessss, @reinourheart, @elqk, @whights-t, @morally-gray-men-for-life, @hanjiisluvr, @shadequeen712, @hyunniesprincess, @volcanohan

jisung doesn’t remember the last the he’s listed so intently to someone talk.

honestly, jisung’s never really been one to actively listen, but fuck- there was just something about the way your lips move around each spoken word that makes it so ungodly difficult to pay attention to anything else.

it doesn’t help that he’s had his eyes on you for longer than he could remember. ever since the first day you strolled into to his music theory class at the start of the semester, jisung has been, for lack of better words,dying to get his hands on you.

there’s just this… itch whenever he’s around you. it’s bone deep, too far below the skin to be satisfied easily. you’re just so perfect— kind, funny without even trying. and don’t even get him started on how good you are in the recording studio. jisung didn’t even know he could get turned on from watching someone mix a beat. but hey, they say college is where you learn things, right?

and trust, jisung has learned a lot.

for example: jisung has learned that he’s a dirty fucking perv.

an example of the example: there have been numerous times when you’ve been ranting about how bullshit your biased professor is—how he never grades your work fairly no matter how hard you work on it—and jisung will sit there wondering if your as expressive in bed as you are here.

he hopes you are. god, he would lose his mind…

speaking of you in bed, jisung has thought of you with his hand down his pants more often than anyone would constitute as normal. but honestly, can you even blame him?

you laugh at his jokes with a smile that makes his chest tight, and you somehow manage to smell like vanilla and something sweeter every single time you lean over his shoulder to look at his laptop screen.

it's honestly a miracle he hasn't combusted yet.

well, he has. many times, actually. but you get what he means.

but today? today is different.

today you're sitting cross-legged on his bed (his bed, jesus christ), textbook open in your lap as you complain about your latest assignment, and jisung is trying his absolute hardest to focus on his own textbook.

try as he might, all he can think about is how easy it would be to close the distance between you two. how easy it would be to kiss you, to make you let out pretty little noises, to force his cock down your throat and—

“hey ji,” you say suddenly, snapping him out of his daze. he sends a quick thank you to whatever higher being there may be that you hadn’t caught his staring. “can i talk to you about something?”

jisung looks up from where he’s sitting on the floor with a grin as if he hadn’t just been picturing the 69 different ways (pun intended) he could get you to take him. “sure.”

he watches as you take a deep breath, clearly debating on following through on whatever subject was on your mind. when another second ticked by without a response he arched a brow, fixing you with a look in hopes it would push you to hurry up.

you see it and promptly stick your tongue out at him. you both smile. you let out another exhale.

"i, uh…" you start, and jisung notices the way your cheeks flush slightly. "i went on a date last night. it was nothing like, crazy, yknow? just something a friend of mind set up."

oh.

jisung's stomach drops.

awesome.

"oh yeah?" he manages, keeping his voice in a careful neutral even though he feels like he's been kicked in the chest by some fuckass kangaroo. “and how’d that go?"

does he actually care? hell no. is he trying to be a good friend? sure, keyword there being trying.

you fidget with the corner of your textbook. "it was… fine, i guess? he was nice enough. we got dinner, talked for a bit." you pause, and jisung watches as your blush deepens. "and then we, you know… went back to his place."

jisung's grip on his pen tightens. he's not sure he wants to hear this, but he can't exactly tell you to stop now.

"and?" he prompts, hating how strained his voice sounds.

you let out a frustrated sigh. "and it was… underwhelming? like, really underwhelming." you're not looking at him now, focused instead on picking at a loose thread on his comforter. "we fooled around a bit, and he seemed really into it, but i just… i don't know. i didn't feel much of anything."

"what do you mean?" he's not sure if the relief flooding through him makes him a terrible person or not. his vote is no.

"i mean…" you trail off, clearly embarrassed. "he tried, like, touching me and stuff. it just felt… weird? not bad, just- nothing special, i guess. and then when things got more intense, i just kind of laid there thinking about my grocery list."

despite everything, jisung lets out a laugh. it’s short, cut off by the glare you shot his way.

"and the worst part," you continue, voice getting quieter, "is that he finished and then just… rolled over and fell asleep. didn't even care if i, you know…" you let make a vague gesture with your hand to make up for your lack of words.

"if you came?" jisung supplies, watching you nod a moment later.

"yeah. that." you finally look up at him. "is it supposed to be like that? because if so, i really don't get what all the hype is about."

jisung feels something twist in his chest—something between anger at the asshole who couldn't be bothered to take care of you and a dangerous, selfish hope. "no," he says, and his voice comes out a little sharper than he intended. "it's definitely not supposed to be like that."

"really?" you raise a brow, tone unamused and doubtful.

"really," jisung confirms, and before he can stop himself, he adds, "if a guy can't even make sure you finish, he doesn't deserve to touch you in the first place."

you laugh, but it's a hollow sound. "i mean, i don't know if i'd even know the difference." you shrug, trying to play it off casually even though jisung can see the genuine frustration in your eyes. "it's not like i've ever… y’know. gotten off before."

a beat passes.

jisung blinks. "wait, what?"

"yeah," you say, picking at the thread again. "not from someone else, not from myself. nothing."

"but—" jisung stops himself, trying to process this information. "didn't you have a boyfriend in high school?"

"yeah, for like a year and a half," you confirm. "but that doesn't mean i came. we fooled around, sure, but it never really… went anywhere for me."

jisung feels like his brain is short-circuiting. you—perfect, beautiful you—have never experienced an orgasm? it seems almost criminal.

"i think maybe i'm just not built for it," you continue, voice small. "like, maybe i'm just… glitched or something. everyone talks about how amazing it is, but i just don't get it."

"you're not glitched," jisung says immediately, more forceful than necessary. you look up at him, surprised. "trust me, you're not. you just… haven't been with anyone who knows what they're doing."

"maybe," you say, though you don't sound convinced.

jisung swallows hard.

his heart is pounding, and he knows what he's about to say is probably crossing a line, but he can't seem to stop himself. "if you want a second opinion…" he starts, trying to keep his tone light even though his hands are shaking slightly. "i volunteer as tribute."

the silence that follows is deafening.

you stare at him, eyes wide, and jisung immediately wants to take it back—except he doesn't. not really.

“i-“ you start before choking on your own words. you blink at him a few times, trying to gauge how serious he’s being. “what?”

jisung realizes what hes just said and immediately feels his face heat up.

he holds up his hands in a gesture that's somewhere between defensive and pleading. "i mean- say we’re working in hypotheticals here, yeah?" he says quickly, voice pitching slightly higher than normal. "just, you know, theoretically speaking. if you wanted to figure out what works for you."

you're still staring at him, and jisung can't tell if you're about to laugh in his face or leave. probably both. definitely both.

"i just mean, you said you don't know what you like, right? so maybe—hypothetically—it would help to, i don’t know- explore that?? with someone you trust. who wouldn't be weird about it."

he pauses, then adds, "or weirder than i'm already being right now."

you let out a breath that might've be a laugh, and some of the tension in jisung's shoulders eases. at least you're not running for the door.

"okay," you say slowly, and jisung's heart jumps into his throat. "hypothetically speaking… what would that even look like?"

blood rushes to his dick so fast that he genuinely feel faint for a solid second or two.

this is happening. this is actually happening.

"well, uh," he clears his throat. "i guess first we'd need to figure out what you like. what feels good to you."

"i don't know what i like," you point out. "that's kind of the whole problem here."

"right, but like-" jisung stands, taking a gamble by moving from the floor to sit with you on the bed. he takes the edge, but still manages to get close enough that his knee almost touches yours. he has half the thought of cheering when you don’t immediately jolt away. "there has to be something. like, when you think about… that stuff. what do you think about?"

your blush deepens as you look away. jisung wants to grab you by the cheeks and shove his tongue down your throat.

"i don't know. i guess i don't really think about it much."

"okay, but when you do," jisung presses, far too eager "what's the first thing that comes to mind? is it like… hands? mouths? something else?"

"i- i guess mouths? that’s a stupid way to put it, jisung." your eyes dart over to him for all of two seconds before flicking away again. “i like being kissed. and when people leave marks.”

jisung’s going to bust in his sweats.

he nods slowly, stashing away the information for it’s inevitable later use. "okay. that's good. that's a start." he pauses before asking "what about where? where would you wanna be kissed?"

your head tilts to the side slightly as you debate. it takes a minute for you to make up your mind, a minute that jisung’s spends memorizing the curve of your lips.

“my thighs. i like my neck and my tits, too, but my thighs.”

ok. scratch what he said before. he’s actually going to pass out, wake up for two seconds to jerk off, and then pass out again from how intense it’ll be.

“fuck” he breaths out with a laugh—half breathless humor, half utter strain. jisung raises a hand to run down his face, looking away from you to try and save himself even a little bit.

"okay," he says once he's collected himself enough to form coherent words. "okay, so, hypothetically, if we were doing this, i'd start there. with your thighs." he looks back at you, trying his best to gauge your reaction. "would that be… okay?"

jisung watches the way your eyes skim over him and highly considers throwing himself off the roof of his dorm when your gaze catches on the tent in his sweat pants.

“i like it more when people work their way down.” you meet his eye again and he feels his dick twitch to attention.

jisung's mouth goes dry. the casual way you say it—like you're discussing the weather and not actively trying to kill him—makes his head spin.

"work my way down," he repeats li. "from your neck?"

“my mouth.” you correct.

it takes a few seconds for jisung’s brain to catch up to what you were saying. when ir finally registered, jisung let out a heavy breath.

“y-you want me to kiss you?”

"i mean… yeah?" you say, and there's a hint of uncertainty in your voice. "isn't that where you're supposed to start?"

jisung lets out a breathy laugh, running a hand through his hair. "yeah, no, you're right. i just-" he stops himself, looking at you with an intensity that makes your stomach flip. "i just need to know you're actually okay with this. like, seriously okay. because once i start, i don't know if i'll be able to stop."

despite everything making up your current situation, you can’t help the laugh that pushes itself from your lips.

“jesus, sung- please don’t tell me you learned that from a bad porno.”

jisung's face flushes, but he can't help the grin that tugs at his lips. "fuck off," he mutters, but there's no real heat behind it. "i'm trying to be respectful here."

"i know," you say, and your expression softens. "and i appreciate it. but i'm serious, jisung. i want this. hypothetically, of course.”

jisung doesn't waste another second.

he closes the distance between you, one hand coming up to cup your jaw while the other braces against the mattress beside your hip. his thumb brushes along your cheekbone, and for a moment he just looks at you—really looks at you—trying to memorize every detail of your face before he gets what he's been craving for so long.

"tell me to stop if you need to," he murmurs, knowing damn well he won't be able to give this up. not now. not when you're looking at him like that.

he closes the gap completely, pressing his lips to yours.

and god, you're even better than he imagined.

and trust, he's imagined this—fuck, has he imagined this. a thousand times, maybe more. but none of his fantasies come close to the real thing. your mouth is soft and warm, and the little sound you make when he deepens the kiss goes straight to his cock.

you make that sound again—that small, needy noise in the back of your throat—and jisung responds on instinct, tilting your head slightly to get a better angle.

his tongue traces the seam of your lips, and when you open for him, he can't help the groan that escapes. he groans—actually groans—into your mouth, and he'd be embarrassed if he could think straight.

but he can't. because this is intoxicating. you’re intoxicating.

the way you taste, sweet and perfect. the way his hand slides from your jaw to the back of your neck, fingers threading through your hair like they were made to be there. the way his other hand finds your waist, pulling you closer until there's barely any space left between your bodies and he can feel your heartbeat against his chest.

you've been kissed before, he knows that,but jisung wants to make you forget every single one of those losers you’d had before him. wants this to be the one you remember.

he puts everything into it, every press of his lips deliberate, purposeful, trying to learn exactly what makes you melt against him.

he knows he’s reached some sort of heaven when he feels you starting to go pliant in his hands.

jisung pulls back just enough to catch his breath, resting his forehead against yours. his eyes are dark, blown wide. he can feel how swollen his lips are already.

"fuck," he breathes, voice absolutely wrecked. "you taste so good." he doesn’t give you a chance to respond before he’s kissing you again, harder than before.

leave it to jisung to get turned on by how sweet your spit tastes.

his hand tightens in your hair—not enough to hurt, just enough to make you gasp—and takes full advantage of how your lips part, his tongue sliding against yours in a way that makes him dizzy with want.

you grab onto his shirt, fingers twisting in the fabric, and jisung feels like he might actually lose his mind.

everything about this is overwhelming in the best possible way—the warmth of your body pressed against his, the way you respond when his thumb strokes the sensitive skin at your nape, the little sounds you make as you kiss him back just as eagerly. he wants to catalog every single detail, burn it into his memory so it’s humanly impossible to forget.

his hand on your waist starts to wander, sliding down to your hip and squeezing. it isn’t a rough gesture, more so just to ground himself, to remind himself that this is all real. that this isn’t just another one of his twisted dreams.

he breaks the kiss to trail his lips along your jaw, pressing open-mouthed kisses to the corner of your mouth, your cheek, the spot just below your ear that makes you shiver.

"tell me if this is okay," he murmurs against your skin. he gets a strange high from the way your quickens pulse under his lips.

"it's okay," you manage, voice breathier than usual. "it's really okay."

jisung makes a satisfied sound deep in his throat, then goes back to kissing you properly. this time he forces himself to slow down, to be more deliberate.

he takes his time exploring your mouth, learning the way you respond to him—the way you whimper when he sucks on your bottom lip, the way you smile against his mouth when he does something you particularly like.

"you're so fucking cute," he mumbles, pulling back just enough to look at you. his eyes are soft, a little to innocent for the way he’s currently handling you. "been wanting to do this for so long."

"yeah?"

"fuck yeah," he responds with a laugh that’s only slightly crazed.

you never get the chance to ask exactly how long he's wanted this, how many nights he's fallen asleep thinking about it—about you. and honestly? you aren’t even sure you’d want that answer. it feels to heavy, too weighted with significance.

minutes pass. you’re not sure how many, neither is jisung. all you know is that he kisses you until your lips feel bruised under his and his head is spinning from lack of oxygen.

his hands roam more carefully now—not respectful, but not outright pushy. there’s enough intent in each brush that you can feel the restrained want in every touch. he palms your hip, traces the curve of your waist, thumbs at the silver of skin where your shirt has ridden up.

when he finally pulls away, you're both breathing hard.

his hair is a mess from where you've been running your fingers through it. when he catches sight of your lips—red and swollen from his kisses—he has to physically restrain himself from crashing back into you again

"we should…" he starts, then stops. he swallows hard. "we should probably slow down."

you blink at him, still a little dazed. "why?"

"because if we don't, i'm gonna fucking come in my pants," jisung admits with a breathless laugh. it's embarrassing but true—he's already painfully hard, and every little sound, every shift, brings him closer to that edge.

the way you're looking at him makes his chest tight. at the same time though, he's acutely aware of how you're still pressed against him, addicted to the heat radiating off your body.

"what if i don't want you to slow down?" you ask, and the boldness in your voice very nearly enough to do him in on the spot.

"don't say shit like that unless you mean it."

"i do," you say, and then you're leaning in and kissing him again.

this time, jisung doesn't hold back. he kisses you like he's trying to devour you, one hand sliding up your back to press you closer while the other grips your hip hard enough to leave marks. you can probably feel how hard he is, pressed against your thigh, and the knowledge that you know how badly he wants you makes his head spin.

you shift slightly, and jisung groans into your mouth, his hips jerking forward before he can stop himself. "fuck," he gasps, breaking the kiss. "you're gonna kill me."

"good," you manage, then kiss him again before he can respond.

jisung lets out a breathless laugh against your lips before shifting his weight, gently pushing you back until you're lying on the bed with him hovering over you.

the new position makes everything feel more intense—the way he's pressed between your thighs in a way that lets you feel how hard he is, the way his weight settles over you, the way you're looking up at him like he's the only thing in the world that matters.

"hi," he says, grinning down at you despite how wrecked he feels.

"hi," you echo, and the smile you give him back makes his heart stutter.

and then his lips are on yours yet again .

his mouth moves against yours with an ease that surprises him—like he's already learned exactly what makes you gasp and whimper. when he nips at your bottom lip, you arch up against him, and jisung makes a choked sound in response, barely holding himself together.

"you're so responsive," he murmurs against your mouth. "so fucking perfect. just how i thought you'd be."

his hand slides up your side, thumbing just under the curve of your breast, and jisung realizes with startling clarity that he needs more. needs to feel your skin against his, needs to map every inch of your body with his hands and mouth.

as if reading his mind, you reach up and push at his shoulder, urging him downward. "you said you'd work your way down, remember?"

jisung's breath catches and for a moment he just stares at you. a slow grin spreads across his face—the kind he knows is absolutely devastating.

"yeah," he says, voice rough. "yeah, i did say that, didn't i?"

he leans down to kiss you one more time, slow and deep, savoring it. promptly after, he starts trailing his lips along your jaw, taking his time. he presses open-mouth kisses to every inch of skin he can reach, committing the taste of your skin to memory.

when he gets to the spot just below your ear, he pauses for only a moment before taking the skin there between his teeth, sucking a mark into the sensitive patch.

you gasp, fingers tightening in his hair enough for jisung to make a satisfied sound. "gonna mark you up so good," he murmurs against your neck, lips hot as they brush against your skin. "want everyone to know you're mine."

the possessiveness in his own voice should probably alarm him, but he's too far gone to care.

you tilt your head to give him better access, and jisung takes full advantage, working his way down your neck with single-minded focus. this is all he's been dreaming about—getting to worship you like this, getting to make you feel good.

he sucks another mark just above your collarbone, then soothes it with his tongue. the whimper you make goes straight to his cock. jisung smiles against your skin.

"you sound so pretty," he says, voice muffled against your neck. "wanna hear what other sounds you make, jagi"

his hand comes up to rest on your ribs, thumb brushing against the underside of your breast. when you arch into the touch jisung can’t help his groan, pressing his hips down against yours just because he can.

the friction makes you both gasp.

"fuck," comes his his, the word hot on your skin as he continues his path downward.

jisung kisses along your collarbone, then down to the neckline of your shirt. he pauses there, looking up at you with eyes that are wide and begging. "can i?"

instead of granting him with a verbal answer, you reach down and grab the hem of your shirt, pulling it up and over your head in one swift motion.

jisung's eyes go wide, gaze immediately dropping to your chest.

over the span of five seconds, jisungs mouth goes from being as dry as a desert to his throat bobbing as he swallows down his own spit.

"holy shit.." he whispers, voice dripping with reverence. his hands come up to cup your breasts over your bra, thumbs brushing over your nipples through the fabric. "you're so fucking... fuck, baby- your perfect"

you squirm under the attention, and jisung only takes it as encouragement. he leans down to press his face between to the swell of your breasts, a groan rolling soft in the back of his throat before kissing down to your sternum. his hands stay on you, kneading mindlessly and without much care.

jisung thinks he might actually be in heaven.

and then you’re thread your fingers through his hair again pushing, deliberately, purposefully, until his face is buried in your chest.

jisung groans loud this time, breath coming out hot against your skin. "so eager," he murmurs in pure appreciation, a hand sliding around to your back to find the clasp of your bra. "what a rockstar- i fucking love it."

you arch to help him and jisung makes quick work of the clasp, tossing the fabric across the room without a second thought.

for a moment, jisung just stares.

his eyes are wide with hunger as they trace over your newly exposed skin. he's imagined this so many times, but nothing compares to actually seeing you like this.

then he's leaning down, pressing hot, open mouthed kisses across your chest, hands coming up to cup your breasts properly now that that last barrier is gone.

"so fucking perfect," he breathes against your skin, thumbs circling your nipples in a way that makes you arch up into his touch.

"god, i could live between your tits," jisung breathes out, voice rough rough around the edges while his hands continue to knead at you. "been thinking about this for months—how they'd feel in my hands, how they'd look covered in my cum, how fucking perfect they'd look bouncin’ in my face while you ride me." he groans, burying his face between them again like he can't help himself. "never gonna take my hands off of ya, jagi. can’t do it…"

then he takes one nipple into his mouth, and the cry you let out nearly makes him come on the spot.

jisung circles the sensitive bud with his tongue before sucking hard enough to make you writhe beneath him. his other hand works your other breast, pinching and rolling your nipple between his thumb and forefinger in a rhythm that matches his mouth.

he gets so lost in it that he almost forgets he isn’t dreaming. the only thing that snaps him back is the sound of his name on your lips.

"jisung," you gasp, and he hums in response, the vibration making you shudder beneath him.

he switches sides, giving your other breast the same devoted attention.

jisung can feel himself getting harder with every passing second, can feel how wet you must be through the fabric still between you. your thighs squeeze around his hips, and jisung grinds down against you in response, unable to help himself.

but the friction isn't enough—not for either of you—and when you roll your hips in a search for more, jisung breaks away from your chest with a sharp inhale.

his forehead drops to rest against your sternum as he tries to catch his breath and regain some semblance of control.

"you're driving me insane," he mutters, voice strained. his hands slide down your sides, fingers hooking into the waistband of your pants. he looks up at you, eyes dark and pupils blown wide, barely holding himself together. "can i take these off?"

"please," you breathe, and jisung doesn't need to be told twice.

he sits back on his heels, making quick work of your pants and underwear in one smooth motion.

the cool air hits your heated skin, and jisung's hands are immediately there, warm and grounding as they run up your thighs. he takes a moment to just look at you—all of you—spread out on his bed, and he thinks he might actually die from want.

"fuck," he says, voice raw. he drags a thumb through your folds "look at you. so wet already."

the embarrassment that flashes across your face makes jisung's chest tighten. he immediately leans down, pressing a soft kiss to your knee. "don't," he says gently, meaning it. "don't be embarrassed. this is so fucking hot. you're so fucking hot."

his hands massage your thighs, slowly pushing them apart, and blacks out when you just let him.

the sight of you all vulnerable and trusting, turned on and willing, is almost too much. he settles between your legs, and the reality that he's finally here, that this is actually happening, sends a sick thrill through him.

"i'm gonna make you feel so good," jisung promises, his breath ghosting over your inner thigh, pressing a lingering kiss there. he means it with everything in him. "gonna make you come so hard you forget your own name."

he continues with pressing kisses to yout thigh, taking his sweet time even though every instinct is screaming at him to rush. every press of his lips against your skin makes his own arousal spike higher, and by the time he reaches the crease where your thigh meets your hip, jisung's hands are shaking.

"jisung," you whimper, and the sound goes straight to his cock.

"i know, baby," he murmurs, pressing another kiss to your hip bone. "just wanna savor this. been dreamin’ bout having you like this."

he presses one more kiss to your hip bone, and then—finally, finally—jisung lets himself taste you properly.

his tongue slides through your folds in one long, slow lick, and the taste of you combined with the way your back arches off the bed, pussy pressing to his face, makes him moan.

"oh my god," you gasp, hands flying down to tangle in his hair.

jisung moans again, the sound vibrating through your core. "taste so fucking good," he mumbles, addicted. then he goes back to work with the single minded focus of making good on his promise.

he eats you out like it's his sole purpose in life—because right now, it is.

jisung’s been starving for this, and now that he finally has you, jisung loses himself completely.

his tongue circles your clit before he sucks it between his lips, and the way you respond? the sounds you make? the way your hips rock up against his face? it’s better than anything he's ever imagined.

and believe him, he’s imagined.

jisung's hands grip your thighs, holding you open as he works you over, trying to memorize every sound, every reaction. when he slides one finger inside you, slow and careful, you cry out, fingers tightening almost painfully in his hair.

"that okay?" he asks, pulling back just enough to speak.

when your eyes meet his you’re met with the sight of his face glistening with you, lips swollen and chin shiny. you have to swallow down a whine before you can mutter a small “fuck, yes, please-“

jisung grins—he can't help it—then goes back to sucking on your clit while his finger pumps in and out of you. the dual sensation is overwhelming for the both of you, albeit for wildly different reasons. for you, it’s the way he uses his tongue so fucking well, the wet, warm heat pressing flat against your clit so you can grind against his face to chase your own stimulation. for him? it’s how fucking sweet you are, how your walls flutter when he hits that spot that’s always just a little too far for you to reach on your own.

"jisung," you gasp. "i think- i think i'm—"

"yeah?" he purrs, adding a second finger and curling them in a way that leaves you breathless and seeing stars. "gonna come for me, rockstar? gonna come all over my fingers?"

the words combined with the relentless pleasure seem to push you right to the edge. when jisung takes your clit between his lips again, sucking hard, you fall apart, and jisung thinks he's never seen anything more beautiful.

your orgasm crashes over you in waves, waves jisung does his best to help work you through. his own pleasure spikes high as he watches you come undone.

your whole body seems to tense, thighs clamping around his head as you shake with aftershocks of it. he can hear you making noise—probably too much noise considering dorm walls are comically thin—but he fucking loves it, wants to hear it again and again.

jisung gentles his movements as you come down, not stopping until you're pushing at his head because it's too much, too sensitive.

he presses one last kiss to your swollen clit before sitting up, looking just as wrecked as you do. his hair a mess, lips swollen and wet, and he’s looking at you like you hung the damn moon. because fuck, that was the hottest thing he's ever done. sue him.

"holy shit," you breathe, and jisung feels a surge of satisfaction at how completely undone you look.

jisung crawls back up your body, pressing kisses to your stomach, your ribs, the valley between your breasts, before finally reaching your mouth. he kisses you deep, tongue sliding against yours in attempt to get you to taste yourself too.

"good?" he asks when he pulls back, and there's something vulnerable in the question. he needs to know you felt as good as he thinks you did, that he didn't disappoint you.

"so good," you assure him, reaching up to cup his face. "that was… i've never-"

"i know," he says softly, pressing a kiss to your palm. pride blooms warm in his chest. "first time for everything, right?"

you nod, still a little dazed, and jisung smiles. it's different from his earlier grins—softer, more genuine.

it’s only when he shifts his weight in discomfort that you realize how there’s still a devilish tent in his sweats. he catches the way your eyes drop, and immediately try and brush it off.

"don't worry bout me," he manages, even though his voice is strained and every nerve in his body is screaming for more.

"what about you?" you ask, and then your hand is on him, palming him through the fabric. jisung hisses, hips jerking forward into your touch before he can stop himself.

"i want to," you insist when he doesn’t reply, squeezing gently, and jisung nearly blacks out.

"baby- baby, fuck—" jisung whines, his hand shooting down to wrap around your wrist. he pushes your hand away as his head falls forward, sucking in heavy breaths between his teeth. he can feel the wet patch spreading across the front of his sweats, the aftermath of what just happened.

"i already- i already came, baby-"

you blink, processing his words. "you… already?"

jisung lets out a breathless laugh, cheeks flushing pink as he buries his face in the crook of your neck. he's embarrassed but also not because holy shit it was the most ‘worth it’ thing he’s ever done in his life.

"couldn't help it," he mumbles against your skin, words muffled. "you tasted so fucking good, and the sounds you were making?? fuck jagi, i didn't stand a chance."

your hands slowly raise to thread through the strands of his hair as if it wasn’t mussed up enough, nails scratching lightly at his scalp. jisung practically purrs at the touch.

"that's really hot, actually," you admit.

jisung lifts his head to look at you, searching your expression for any sign of disappointment or disgust. but all he sees is warmth, and something tender that makes his heart skip. "yeah?"

"yeah," you confirm, pulling him down for a slow, deep kiss. when you break apart, you're both smiling, and jisung feels something settle in his chest. it feels a lot like contentment.

"we should probably clean up," jisung murmurs after a moment, though he makes no move to actually get up. he's too comfortable like this, wrapped around you, feeling your heartbeat slowly return to normal beneath him.

"probably," you agree, but you don't move either.

jisung chuckles, the sound rumbling through his chest. "give me like, five minutes. then i'll get us a towel."

"five minutes," you repeat, fingers still playing with his hair in that way that makes him want to fall asleep right here.

but after a moment, reality starts creeping back in. jisung shifts, wincing slightly at the uncomfortable dampness in his boxers. "okay, actually i really need to change like, right now."

you laugh he reluctantly pulls away, watching as he stands on slightly shaky legs. you watch him with hooded eyes as he strips off his ruined sweats and boxers, tossing them into his laundry basket before grabbing a clean pair of sweatpants from his drawer.

"here," he says, pulling out one of his oversized hoodies and tossing it to you. "you can wear this if you want."

you slip it on while jisung grabs a damp towel from his bathroom.

he comes back to find you sitting up, his hoodie falling to your mid-thigh, and he has to take a moment to breathe and not pounce on you like a wild animal and fuck you right then and there.

"c'mere," he says softly, sitting beside you. he gently cleans you up, his touch careful and intimate in a different way than before. when he's done, he tosses the towel aside and pulls you back against him.

"soooo, that was..."

"yeah," jisung agrees, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. "it really was."

AFFECTION — how do they show affection?

jisung likes to exist in silence. your body, close to his, sharing warmth without having to exchange words. you know he's in a good mood when he invites you to sit close—or lay on his lap—while he works on a new song. he's also one to tell you everything about everything. you're always the first person jisung goes after whenever something happens. also, leaning on you!! all the time.

BLUSHING — how easy it is to make them blush?

very easy. jisung is never expecting any of your playful flirts, so whenever they come he's always caught off guard. it's even worse (better) if you randomly give him a kiss or hug him out of nowhere. he's going to malfunction for a few seconds before reciprocating.

CUDDLES — how do they like to cuddle?

jisung only cuddles at night before sleep or in the morning after waking up. his overworking tendencies won't let him step out of the studio to remember he might be craving physical attention. although when he does cuddle you, he usually isn't too clingy, only with an arm dropped over your body and maybe a leg on top of yours.

DATES — what sort of dates do you go together?

most of your dates with jisung consists of watching animes and movies together all day, just to hear him complain when you have to go to sleep because he still has work to do the next day. in a rare occasion, jisung will take you out to some fancy restaurant—one that has an aquarium for you two to watch the fishes while talking about whatever.

EVERYTHING — what do they see you as? (eg. you are their everything)

he sees you as his comfort, his safe space, the love of his life and his lover.

FLIRT — how do they flirt?

he isn't one openly flirt with you using pick up lines or trying to act cool, no. jisung is more likely to write a song, made just for your ears to listen. he might not even tell you, and just randomly send a file called “for the best person in the world.” that's one of the most common yet dear ways for him to flirt with you. but of course he's still jisung, and he will burst in the room and say the cheesiest, most embarrassing pick up line you've ever heard in your entire life and leave.

GIFTS — what sort of gifts do they give you?

jisung tries to remember all of your favorite books, shows and anything you like, so he can give you gifts related to it. you probably will end up having a funko pop collection after a year of being in a relationship with him. another gift he loves giving you, are letters. long, handwritten letters jisung spends weeks working on, making every word seem like it matters—because for him, it does.

HOLDING HANDS — how do they hold hands?

jisung holds your hand almost involuntarily. he barely notices when he finds himself gripping his hold on you, his mind lost somewhere else. usually he's very gentle, only your pinkies connected as you walk side by side to a random place. yet there are these rare moments, when he isn't on his best mindset, that he might use your hand as an anchor to help him stay calm. relaxed.

I LOVE YOU — when do they first say I love you?

he randomly said it after you sent a message to check up on him, panicking exactly three seconds after sending it and texting a bunch of “OMG I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T MEAN TO, IT WAS ON ACCIDENT, I DON'T WANT TO RUSH THINGS”, only stopping once you answer with a “love u too <3” that calms his heart.

JEALOUSY — are they the jealous type? how are they like when jealous?

he can get quite jealous depending on his mood. he's not loud about it, though. jisung will stay in silence, staying in the corner of the room as you laugh because of one of his members. he feels bad for feeling that way, but he can't help it. after whoever was there leaves, jisung is ready to be as close to you as possible, whining on your ear about how you don't like him anymore.

KISSES — how do they kiss?

his kisses are always gentle and intimate. he doesn't want to rush things—and even if sometimes he might get a little too lost in the moment, that only makes him get extra embarrassed. he often wraps his arms around your neck or over your shoulders, preferring to feel your hands on his waist.

LAUGHTER — how do they make you laugh?

jisung is a natural comedian, with almost every word leaving his mouth making you laugh for multiple reasons. the best moments, though, are the more private ones, where it's just you two enjoying each other's company, and jisung is being himself.

MEMORY — whats their favorite memory with you?

his favorite memory is when you two first met. he was surprised to hear you had no idea who he was, and still tried asking him out on a date. jisung was so nervous that day, he almost forgot he was an idol. that day had been so fun, and he still remembers the exact flavor of ice cream you've ordered back then, or the color of your shirt.

NICKNAMES — what nicknames do they call you by?

jisung would call you babe or bae, sometimes love and if he's on a mood to tease you, he'd call you his baby(girl/boy).

ODDITY — whats a quirk they have?

saying random words out of nowhere to you. you two could just be relaxing, watching a movie, and jisung would mutter a “cheesy cheese” and gasp like he just realized the meaning of life. don't try understanding what he meant by that. just accept your destiny.

PDA — how do they feel about pda?

jisung isn't a big fan of pda. he's more of a reserved guy when it comes to sharing affection, so the most he might do is holding your hand—and that's considering you're in a very scheduled place where no fans or daesangs could be around. other than that, he will rarely ever bring up this topic, and if you do, he's just going to try to avoid it, scared of hurting your feelings.

QUIET — what are quiet moments with them like?

quiet moments with jisung are more common than not. he's a very introverted guy, and you find yourself mostly present with him in the same room than actually speaking. but that's what makes everything feel more intimate. your interactions don't go past quick questions and hummings, and that's all you need to understand each other.

ROMANCE — how romantic are they?

i'd say around 75%. he can be romantic if he wants to, and sometimes it might even come naturally, but there are also times jisung sees you as just his comfort person, with no need in saying sweet words or exaggerated flirting.

SECRETS — do they keep any secrets from you?

jisung is rarely going to keep a secret from you, only doing so if it's extremely necessary—such as things that are under contract. there is a chance of him not telling you something right away if he's embarrassed about it, but if you try to talk to him about it, jisung will feel 10x worse by staying silence and will just blurt it out anyway.

TIME — how long did it take for you to get together?

it was surprisingly fast. of course, it didn't took a week or anything, but it also didn't happen after a whole semester or something like that. jisung was quick to realize his feelings for you, and he knew that it was better to tell you before it got any worse. and to his (amazing) surprise, you felt the same way.

UPSET — how often do you fight with each other? how do they act when they're upset?

very, very rarely. you can probably count the amount of fights you had with jisung in your fingers. he can be a sensitive person, and it is very easy to tell if he's upset or not just by the way he reacts when you show up. if he instantly smiles, he's good. if he looks at you, and then looks away, something happened. jisung will not talk to you about it right away, and it's better to give him some time to process his thoughts before the upset feeling turns into something worse.

VAUNT — do they show you off?

not a lot. he doesn't have a lot of people to show you off apart from his members, and he doesn't care a lot about doing it to them.

WILD CARD — free space

jisung has a folder in his laptop, full of pictures he has took of you and anything that reminds him of you. it's like a little secret of his, that isn't really a secret since you've caught him roaming through the photos once. of course, you've never told him about it because you know he would die of embarrassment, but ever since you made sure to send even more pictures you take about almost anything that felt like it would fit in that love folder.

X-RAY — how well can they read you?

jisung can be good at knowing if you're feeling well, sad, sick or anything, but don't try waiting for him to know what it is. you have to tell him the reason you're feeling that way or give some explanation, otherwise jisung will not find out on his own.

YEARN — how do they act when they're away from you?

he sends a lot of messages whenever he has the opportunity to. at this point it's just muscle memory to open your contact whenever he's on a break during practice or backstage, right before a concert. jisung doesn't even have to send anything that makes sense, sometimes even spamming you with random stickers just for the sake of sending them to you. he doesn't care if you'll answer or not (not most of the time), all he cares about is that you at least reads them so he knows you're still okay.

ZZZ — what are their sleepings habits like?

jisung is very quiet in his sleep, barely moving. the only way to tell he's still alive is by his breathing or some rare sound of him snoring. he also likes to sleep with you, some nights tangled with you, and others just him on his space of the bed and you on yours.

You remember it clear as anything. Herds of them chasing you down, all at different speeds. Some of them were easy to outrun, but others not so much. You searched as you ran, for any place to hide. That's when the Easy Mart came into view.

You duck into it, not caring to check for hazards before pushing the shelf in front of the door. One of them slams against the glass, but the door doesn't budge. You stare at it. It's the first time you'd seen one this close. 

It's jaw is missing, it's bleeding from its right eye. Flesh hangs off its skull in long droops that move when it snarls. When it's hands reach up to smack the glass, bloodied handprints are left. It's truly terrifying. You're unable to move, knowing what it's capable of. Would it be best to just give yourself over? Save yourself the hassle? 

There's no one left for you. 

But the decision is made for you when it smacks the glass again, leaving a crack. You realise now that despite the shelf, glass is fragile and with the hoard of them approaching, the door won't last long. 

You spin and survey the small store. Behind the counter, a staff door. You jump the counter, taking whatever was on top of it with you. You rush into the room, slam the door and fall against it. 

You thought this would be an exit, an escape, a well thought-out hide-out. But looking around, it's only a security room. There's no power left, the only light coming from the dusty window above the large computer setup. It's too small to fit through. There's a locker, but nothing useful inside. 

You hear the glass break outside, head instinctively turning back towards the door. You panic and do the first thing you can think to do. Move the locker. You throw your body against it, it nudges but a shooting pain sparks through your shoulder. You bite the pain and try again, it bounces, but doesn't move. 

But the sound echoes. You're sure they hear it. 

And before long you're bracing, because there's a thud against the door. A snarl, a screech, an otherworldly sound scraping out of the throat of an undead monster. 

Your back hits the brick wall, your eyes squeeze shut and you whisper a small goodbye to the world. 

Then a gunshot.

The door twists open and there stands a man. Tall, dark features, covered in blood and dirt but who isn't in this climate? 

His eyes soften on you, lowering his gun by his side and reaching out a hand.

You can still remember how his voice sounded that first time he spoke to you, "I'm Minho. I'm here to help."

Jisung hands a bowl to the little girl, who takes it hesitantly. Her little face keeps turning up to the tray where you remain, not that you notice. She is scared, everyone can tell. But she is quiet too, mute. Anytime anyone asks her a question, or tries to involve her in the conversation, she says nothing. 

She is still covered in dirt, and Chan finally spoke up, "she needs a bath."

"Mmm," Jisung hums, "you're right... but... none of us can necessarily do it."

"She needs to get up eventually." Chan asserts. He didn't need to say who he's referring to.

Jisungs eyes drift up to the truck, eyes landing on your back. You've stopped crying now, that much he's thankful for. But somehow, watching your body slowly rise and fall in even, spaced out breathes is worse. 

He waits for the girl to finish her bowl, before smoothing down her hair. He rises, one crutch tucked under his arm and a bowl in the other. He hobbles towards to the tray, leaning over to place a bowl in front of your face.

"You should eat." He mumbles. 

He watches you carefully, eyes trained to a point in space he can't see. You're distant, caught up in something he doesn't quite understand. You don't even flinch, just remain. Nearly like you're dead yourself.

"I know you probably don't feel like eating..." he continues, "but you have to..."

"You don't have to pity me." You rasp out, voice hoarse from crying and screaming.

And even though you've asked him not to, he can't help but feel sad hearing you speak. Voice raw from pleading, throat sore from crying. Your lungs probably ache and your head must be throbbing after the exertion. 

Not only that, but everything you knew has crumbled. And you believe now, that he's caring for you out of pity. It pains him to know that. To know that you believe you're being pitied, that you're not worthy of being cared for like this. 

"I don't pity you." He spoke, rounding the truck to lift himself into the tray. He stays by your feet, but close enough that your conversation is private. "You saved me. Whether you want to believe it or not. You risked everything, sacrificed everything to save someone you don't even know."

He feels you move. Not fully, just a twitch. Just a hitch in your breath that reminds him you're alive. 

"So no, I don't pity you. I want you to eat because it's all I can offer. Despite everything you've just done for me, it's all I can give back."

In his peripheral he watches your foot retreat. He turns back and watches you rise until you're sitting up. The bowl clutched tight in your hand. 

You look down into it, grey mushy goop, swirling around the metal bowl. You swallow, thinking about eating it. With glassy eyes, you bring it to your mouth, drinking it in go to get it over with. 

The bowl clatters back down with a thunk, loud enough that everyone else in the camp can hear it. Their heads turn to you, see that you've finally been roused, and turn back to what they were doing. 

"Happy?" You ask, pushing the bowl back towards Jisung. 

He looks at it for a moment too long, starlight reflecting off it's surface. He considers for a moment if he should say anything. But with a voice so gentle it nearly breaks your heart, he says, "I watched my dad turn."

Your heart sinks. Your breathing evens out, your eyes find his figure. He's still staring down at the bowl, like he's in his own world, rambling about something no one cares about. But you care. 

"He... he didn't tell me he'd been bitten. He said-" he lets out a dry laugh, small tears falling down his face, "he said he didn't want me to worry." He laughs again, "can you believe that?"

"Jisung..."

"I didn't even have the guts to kill him..." he finally looks up, but not to you. Instead, he fixes his eyes on the night sky, "and now I have to live with the fact that he's out there somewhere, as... as one of those fucking monsters because I was wallowing in grief."

"Jisung," you shift. You're not sure why, maybe to reach out, maybe to comfort him. Maybe you're so unsure of what to do that your body is trying to jumpstart anything, "I'm so sorry."

He shakes his head, "No. No, I'm not saying this for you to pity me or to try and compete on who has it worse. I'm saying this because I know what it feels like for your world to end twice. First, the world is overrun with the fucking undead, and then the unknown of it all." He sighs, finally finding your eyes in the dark. His face is half-lit by the firelight, honey skin glowing with it's warmth. "I know you want to shut down. I get it. And you're allowed. But I'm not going to let this kill you. There's a little girl here who won't talk to anyone but you. And me..." he looks down to his ankle, "well I need you incase I fuck up another body part."

You manage a chuckle. It's dry, barely there at all. But it hangs. 

"Minho's strong." It's something about the way he says it. Minho is. Like he's still here. Like he never left. Like he's not dead. "The truth is, we don't know what happened in there. And maybe we never will... but I know he's strong."

He didn't say anything else. Neither did you. He jumped off the edge of the truck, taking the empty bowl with him, and wandering back over to the fire. 

He catches the eye-line of Chan, who is trying to pretend he wasn't listening in. Everyone looked to him for things like this. But how do you navigate something like this? How do you protect someone who only wants protection from someone else? How do care for a child at the end of the world?

He could feel himself breaking. Cracks in the persona of a leader he had built up for himself, fracturing with every breath, every tear, every extra body added to his list of people he would die protecting. 

He wiped a hand over his face, trying to scrape off the thoughts with it. It works for a moment, before his mind is reeling again. He huffs and stands, announcing, "Bin, take my shift? I gotta sleep." His voice is low, bored, untethered. 

Changbin nods, moving into his seat and watching Chan walk over to a bed roll.

"Hey," your voice is gentle and grounding. You're knelt beside the little girl. She's terrified, it's not hard to figure out. She's clutching herself like a bear, clinging on to some form of sanity. She's shaking, be it from fear or the cold, you're unsure. You peel away the jacket on your shoulders and wrap it around her. "I bet you're cold huh?"

She nods. Her little lips juts out, pouting at you. It's not purposeful, it's raw and real. She's trying not to break down in front of a bunch of adults she's never met. She's been taken from something she knew, whatever that was. You can't blame her.

"Have you eaten little one?" You ask, soothing your hand over her back. She shakes her head, "okay..." you whisper, looking around the camp for the first time. It's quite the set-up. A little ways from the fire is a line of bedrolls. Camp chairs are set up around the fire on the other side and a big pot of something sits next to it. 

You move over, peering inside to find it empty. You huff. "Here." Another voice calls.

You turn to see Changbin handing you a metal bowl. You look at it, then at him, "you sure?"

"Not that hungry anyway. Those fuckers always ruin my appetite." 

You manage a small smile before taking the bowl. You settle into the seat beside her, extending the bowl her way. She looks into it and screws up her face, pushing it back to you.

"You have to eat," you demand, "I know it looks gross but I promise it's not that bad. If you can do that for me, I'm sure I can find something nicer to eat tomorrow. Deal?"

She watches you for a moment, like she's trying to decide if you're going to keep your promise or not. She decides to trust you and takes the bowl. And you watch as she scoops tiny mouthfuls of the mushy stew. 

You take a moment to breathe. Because Jisung was right. Minho is strong. Maybe he stayed as a distraction. Maybe he had a plan. Maybe...

You stop yourself. Maybes are dangerous out here, at the end of the world. Holding out hope that someone who's never coming back can make a miraculous reappearance when you need them the most. The hope that he's out there, fighting his way back to you because that's what he does. 

You quickly bury it. He's dead. You're certain. Because if you think anything else, if you believe anything else, that's how you end up dead too.

So instead, you pretend he wants you to bury it all. To push through, keep going, stay with Chan and Hyunjin and Changbin and Felix and Jisung. 

Jisung. You linger on that name for a moment. The boy in the woods, begging for your help. And of course you did. Of course you insisted on helping and going there. Going to the hospital. The place Minho hated even thinking about. 

But you're full of this complex of needing to help people, no matter who they are. It's because of your need that Jisung stayed in your camp as long as he did. It was your need to prove to Minho that you weren't just dead weight that pushed you into that hospital. 

If you hadn't, you be sitting with him still. If you had of just left Jisung alone, sent him back into the woods, Minho would be offering you the last of his stew.

But that's not who you are. You help. You sacrifice. You care and love and become so fiercely loyal to people that it breaks you. But you prefer it. Because if caring gave you Minho, than it can give you more.

So you don't bury it. Instead, you feel it. You feel everything. Let it wash over you like a bucket of ice water in the middle of a snowstorm. Numbing, cold, refreshing. 

"Hey," you feel the weight of a gentle hand on your back. "Time to go," it's Jisung.

You blink your eyes open, rubbing sleep from them. Stretching out your limbs, you take a second to fully take in his form. He's smiling, but the gentle kind that seems to tell you 'it's okay, I'm right here.' He's crouched over, crutch abandoned to his side. Behind him, a tiny figure peering around to look at you.

"Hi little one," you croak, trying your best to push passed the horrible dread sitting low in your stomach. You manage a smile. An unconvincing one to Jisung, but more believable for the child.

She steps out from behind him and you take her in fully now. Still coated in dirt and blood, clothes tattered. You exhale, sitting up finally.

Jisung follows your gaze and sighs too, "we should probably get her cleaned up. Not sure about her clothes though."

You hum, eyes still trailing over her small body. She's shivering, no thanks to the tears in her clothes. "Don't worry little one, we'll get you cleaned up."

Soon, the camp is pretty much packed up. As Changbin and Hyunjin are shovelling the rest of the things into the truck, you stand with the rest of the group devising a plan.

"She'll need new clothes." You state, "she can't go around in these."

"You're right." Chan sighs, "okay... how 'bout this? Me, Changbin and Felix go to the closest suburb, raid some houses, see what we can find. We can drop you, the kid, Jisung and Hyunjin at the lake to get her washed up?"

You nod, "that sounds good."

Jisung speaks up, "I'm not sure I'll be able to get back down that hill like this."

"Shit," Chan mutters, looking down to his ankle, "you're right sorry. You can come with us then, we'll send Felix to the lake."

Felix nods, "okay."

Jisung turns to you, "is that okay? Will you be okay?"

"I'll be fine." You say. You try to sound convincing, but with everything that's going on, it's getting harder to do so.

He hums, "okay."

It wasn't long before you were climbing out of the car near the lake. You bid your farewells to the rest of the crew before making your way down the hill.

The child is clinging tight to your hand as you help her down the hill. Hyunjin slinks up next to you, "hey..." he starts.

"Hey..." you don't look at him, still wary of this stranger. 

"I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am about your friend."

You pause. It's still fresh. The wound is still bleeding, not even tended to yet and here is a complete stranger believing he has the right to mention him.

"It's not your fault." You speak in a tone that you hope gets him to shut up. He doesn't.

"It's not yours either." His voice is sweet and gentle, like the words were always what he wanted to say.

This time you actually stop and turn to him. "He didn't want to go there. He went because I asked him to. How is that not my fault?"

"You wouldn't have gone if you didn't meet Jisung. He wouldn't have been in the woods that night if we hadn't abandoned him. We wouldn't have done that if we weren't at the school and we wouldn't have been there if our friends hadn't been taken." He sighs, "we could keep going around, talking about the things we've done to end up here but what's the use? Because no one's to blame. Or maybe everyone's to blame. But the point is..." he breathes deep, eyes staring down into yours, "you're not alone. Not physically and... not with this... we've all lost people, we've all been there. You're with us now, so that means you can lean on us."

Felix steps forward, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder, "you're not alone."

Their words soothe you, but do nothing to close the wound. You feel better knowing this is the company you've stumbled into. Yet there is still that guilt, that you're here and not him. The guilt that you've moved on too quickly. Saddled up with a new group instantly. 

Maybe he'd want that. For you to be safe and taken care of. But maybe he was scared for you too. You only trusted the things Minho had told you to trust. He was wary of this group, refused to help them or be with them longer than necessary. But things have changed now, so would he feel different?

You blink back to reality, watching the dirt and blood wash off the girls tiny body. Her eyes have fluttered shut, allowing you to wash her hair in the water. All that you can hear is the quiet conversation Hyunjin and Felix are having a little ways away, and the splashing of the water.

"Stop playing in it," Minho's voice sterns.

"I'm not playing in it." You try to hide a smile.

"Yes you are, you're getting it-"

As he speaks, you splash a handful of water up into his face. He gasps and immediately does it back. 

You're both soaked by the next time he scowls, "you're such a menace."

You shrug, "you're the one who picked me up."

"MM, I'm starting to regret it."

"AH!" the little girl's voice screeches. 

You snap back to reality with it, immediately checking her over. She's pointing to her foot.

"Is everything okay down there?" Hyunjin calls out.

"Yeah!" You call back, taking a look at her foot, "just a cut! We'll be fine!"

You pull her out of the water, wrapping her in a towel before rummaging through your pack for the first aid supplies. It's a big cut. The bottom of her foot torn open, bleeding free falling onto the bright green grass. 

She's calm, breathing still, tears held at bay. It's disturbing. Children often overreact at the smallest things and now here, this small girl barely batting an eye.

As you take her ankle in your hand to clean the wound, you feel over the scar tissue around it. It hits you then. She's been bitten so many times she's probably become numb to pain. Or at the very least, knows that that if she kicks up a fuss, she's in more trouble.

"Okay little one," you soothe, "it's okay. I'm gonna fix you up. Just like last time okay?"

She nods, unphased, but thankful for the help. She won't be able to walk on it, but she's light enough to carry so it won't be a problem. Your main concern now is ensuring it doesn't get infected or burst open more. 

It's a few minutes later and her ankle is wrapped. Some of the white bandage already soaked with blood, but you're not too concerned, you know your work is good. You quickly dress her back in her tattered clothes, not wanting her to be naked until she can get clean ones.

The boys turn back around. 

"Okay, ready to go?" Felix coos, smiling brightly down at the little girl. 

She smiles back and raises her arm to snake into your hand. Her shirt falls slightly, and that's when they see it.

"What's that?" Hyunjin asks, hand hovering over his gun.

"What?" You look down, seeing her arm exposed, covered in bites.

"She's infected." Felix nearly whispers. 

Hyunjin draws his gun, pointing it directly at the little girl. It's now that she starts crying. "Y/N step back."

You shield her with your body, "it's not what it looks like!"

"Step back! She's infected!" Hyunjin shouts, causing the little girl to scream at the sudden volume. 

"She's not infected!" You shout back.

There's a moment before he turns his eyes up to you. He looks back down at the girl, the way she's hiding behind your legs, the way you're protecting her.

He looks at you, eyes narrowing, whispering, "Did you know?"

You don't say anything back.

He scoffs, "Holy fucking shit, you knew! You were going to get us all killed!" Hyunjin calls out, "here we were, tending to you, ensuring that you had everything you need and you pull this shit?"

"It's not like that!"

"What is it like then?" Felix's eyes grow ten times the size. They're filled with hurt and betrayal.

Hyunjin is still holding the gun out, but this time it's pointed at you. 

"She's covered in them but they've healed!" You point to her, "how do you explain that?"

"Fucking hell listen to yourself!" Hyunjin yells, gripping the gun tighter, "she's going to turn any second then!"

"No she must be immune or something! She's-she's not infected! I wouldn't-I wouldn't put anyone in danger, I-"

"Bullshit!"  Hyunjin yells.

"Y/N..." Felix's voice is a complete contrast to Hyunjins. It's soft, pleading and dripping with betrayal, "just step away from her... we can go back to the others. They don't have to know you knew..."

"You can trust her after this?" Hyunjin asks.

"I think she was going through a lot in that hospital and wasn't thinking straight!" He raises his voice, turning back to you to plead, "listen, just step back and we'll go back to the others. Hyunjin can deal with her."

"Deal with her?" You scoff, "do you hear yourself? You're talking about her like she's already turned!"

"It won't be long." Hyunjin firms.

You breathe heavy, feeling the weight of tiny hands on your legs, cowering behind you. It's an impossible choice, a risky one, one that would probably get yourself and her killed. But there's nothing left for you to do.

"Leave her with me."

Felix huffs, "what?"

"Both of you go back to the others. Leave her with me. We'll go our separate ways."

Hyunjin and Felix share a look. Felix looks back to you, "we're not doing that."

"Yes we are," Hyunjin lowers his gun.

"What?" Felix turns to him, "we can't leave her! We certainly can't leave her with an infected."

"Yes we can," Hyunjin grabs Felix's arm, trying to drag him back up the hill.

Felix is trying to tug himself back, "no! No, I won't go!"

"Yes you will." Hyunjins voice is low and rough. Dangerous. 

Instead of waiting another moment, he slings Felix over his shoulder. He bangs against his back, trying to get Hyunjin to drop him. "Put me down! We can't leave them!"

"This is for the best Felix."

When he continued to thrash, Hyunjin finally put him down with a huff. Arm flinging back towards you and the girl, "go ahead then Lix. Go run off with them, get yourself killed. I'll just go tell Chan that you're loyalty is with some lying stranger rather than your own family."

Felix looks down the hill. Her tiny body, shielded mostly by your legs, was quivering. But you. You stood tall. You stood with no fear, like you'd already won.

Felix's voice was quiet. You could only see his mouth moving. But Hyunjin heard it, "what happened to being people she could lean on? Being part of us now?"

"That was before she lied to us."

"Jisung won't be happy." Felix adds, trying anything to get Hyunjin to yield.

"He'll manage." Hyunjin states, walking further up the hill, away from you.

Felix waited a moment, sad eyes clear even at this distance. He shook his head, whispering something to himself. But you could tell what he said, "I'm sorry."

And he turned, and followed Hyunjin back up the hill.

"Hyung..." Jisung breathes out. 

Chan was walking around a random house, trying to figure out if any children used to live here. He hums at Jisung, letting him know he's listening.

"There's... there's something I should tell you about the girl..." He limps after Chan as he walks into a separate room. 

When Jisung walks in, he sees a nursery. The once pale yellow walls, covered in splattered blood and scratches. The crib, broken and laying limp. Toys are scattered across the floor and the mobile that hangs above the bed is torn. 

Both he and Chan still. They've seen a lot of shit since the world ended. But nothing is as hard as the knowledge of this. The children who were hurt, who were taken or killed. The evidence is jarring and confrontational. 

Chan leans down to swipe a small bunny plush from the floor. It's no longer fluffy, it's been well loved. But it's been soaked through with blood and since dried. He felt a lump build in his throat, eyes welling up with tears. 

His voice, quiet and distant shattered Jisung, "Hannah had one just like this."

Hannah, Chan's little sister. He hadn't seen his family in months. They're in a different country. No way of knowing if they're alive, no way of getting to them. No closure. 

That's why he clings so tight to the family he does have. The family that's carried him through this. Everyone looks to him, believes him the leader. But they're the ones who carry him. They're the ones who comfort him and support him.

"That little girl..." Chan starts, "do you think her family is still out there?"

Jisung sighs, limping a little further into the room, "there's no way of knowing. And even if we did, there's no way of finding them."

Tears slide down Chan's face in slow, emotional streaks. He coughs to clear his throat, standing up, bunny still in hand, "I think I could get the blood out... do you... do you think she'd like it? The little girl?"

Jisung forced a sweet smile, trying not to cry himself because saying, "I think she'd love it."

Hyunjin and Felix were sat on the side of the road in silence. They sat a few meters apart, eyes turned to the road, unwilling to even look at each other.

The silence stretched on and on for what felt like hours. The silence between them unbearable. But the distant rumble of an engine got them both to their feet. 

The truck pulls up and Chan sticks his elbow out of the window, peering at the two boys. His looks around, eyes narrowing at them, "Where's Y/N?"

Felix doesn't respond. He hoists himself into the tray and crosses his arms.

Hyunjin sighs, "she left." He lies, "one moment she was in the lake, the next she was gone."

"Don't fucking lie about what you did." Felix snaps. His eyes burning holes into his head. "You drove her away!"

"She was going to get us killed Felix!" Hyunjin yells back. 

"Wait," Chan, Jisung and Changbin get out of the car. Chan walks right up next to Hyunjin, "what do you mean?"

"The girl Chan! She's absolutely covered in bites! And she knew! Y/N knew and said nothing!"

Chan took a small step back, trying to process everything that was being said. He turns to Jisung, who's looking down the hill, searching for any sign that you're still there. Chan turns back to Hyunjin, then to Felix.

"Take it back," his voice is calm against the storm brewing, "covered in bites how?"

"They're mostly healed." Jisung butts in.

Hyunjin scoffs, eyes wide in disbelief. His voice come in a low venomous spit, "you knew?" 

"Yes," Jisung steps forward, "Y/N thinks she is immune. Or resistant. The point is, she was covered in bites that had fully healed over."

"Bullshit!" Hyunjin called, "one was bright fucking red!"

"You gonna leave out the part where you pointed a gun at her head?" Felix, still in the truck points out.

"You did what?" Chan asks, "tell me you didn't threaten a child."

"I was protecting us!" Hyunjin shouts, gesturing around at the group.

"And you think you make those kinds of decisions alone? That you can decide that for all of us?" Chan steps forward, face inching closer to his.

"You don't control us Chan!" He spits back.

"Alright boys, back it up," Changbin tries to wedge himself between them, but fails.

"You don't know anything Hyunjin!"

"Because you won't tell us!"

"You want the truth?" Chan shouted, voice echoing over the rolling hills, "Minho stayed behind to hold the door. To make sure everyone got out safely. He-he made me promise to take care of Y/N! To make sure she's safe! I promised him! And now..." he lowered his voice, heaving with the power of it, "now, you're making me a liar. You're turning me into someone who doesn't keep a dead man's wishes." He inches closer to Hyunjin again, bodies hovering inches apart, "you think I don't tell you things. Know that it isn't because I think it's for your good. It's because everything's so fucking hard Jin. I turned back and I watched the door be kicked in by zombies. I watched them swarm Minho. You wanted me to clue you into that? You wanted me to say that in front of his fucking sister?" Chan scoffs, shakes his head and backs away.

"Chan-"

"Which way did she go?" He asks, pulling out his gun to check the magazine. 

"I don't-" Hyunjin was cut off by the view of Chan picking up his bag. He begins the walk down the hill. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to find her." He states, "you guys can wait here. Or take the car and fuck off. I don't care."

"Chan!" Changbin calls after him, "you're going to leave us?"

He turns back then, "she's one of us now. Whether she likes it or not, whether you like it or not. And we don't leave our people behind."

He turns, and walks down the hill.

He heard some footsteps behind him, but he didn't turn to see who it was.

He breathes, "I tried to stop him." Felix.

"You shouldn't have been put in that place at all Lix." Chan sighs.

"If my ankle wasn't fucked it would've been me," Jisung. He hobbles down the hill, attached to his side is Changbin.

Chan looks over the group and finally back up the hill.

"He's by the truck still. It's probably a good thing," Changbin chimes in, "you know how he can get when he's pissed off. This will give him a bit of time to cool off."

Chan simply nods and continues down the hill. 

He wasn't really expecting that you'd still be there. But he was hoping for a little more than the note they found. 

It had Jisung's name written on it. When he opened it, he saw your handwriting.

Elevate the foot when possible. Try to keep the weight off of it. Make sure you're not leaning too hard on the crutches either, you'll destroy your armpits. You should be okay to walk on it in a week or two.

There's extra supplies in the bag by the way. I won't need it. 

He looks up to see a small first aid bag. Changbin was already rummaging through it. Felix hovers over him, "shit, she left like all her shit."

Chan was over by the water, washing all the blood he could out of the bear. "Did you see her come back up the hill?" Chan calls from the water, eyes turned into the forest.

"No, I think she went through the trees," Felix pointed.

Chan nods and turns to Jisung, "what's the note say?" he asks, wringing out the toy as he walked back over to the group. Jisung hands the note to him. After a moment he sighs and pushes the note back into Jisungs chest. "I should've known," he sighs.

"What?" Changbin asks.

"She's going back."

"What?" Jisung pipes in, "how do you know?"

"She wants closure." He states, already making his way back up the hill. "She gave us the supplies because she's going back to check for Minho. She's getting more while she's there."

"She can't go in there alone!" Jisung chases after Chan. Soon Changbin is beside him, hoisting an arm over his shoulder.

"I know."

"We're going after her right?" Felix catches up to them all.

"We don't leave anyone behind."

"Fuck," Changbin curses, "he took the fucking truck!"

They had reached the top of the hill. No sign of Hyunjin, no sign of the truck. Just two lonely bags of supplies that Hyunjin so generously left for them.

Chan shakes his head, swiping the bags from their spot. 

"So what now?" Felix butts in.

"We walk and we hope we make it to the hospital before she does," Chan is already walking.

"Great," Changbin huffs, following after him, "I'd gotten so use to the truck."

"That thing can't have much fuel left though right?" Jisung follows up.

"Surely not," Felix walks alongside him, "so maybe Hyunjins broken down somewhere along the road. Where would he even go?"

"Are you okay little one?" You had stopped to perch her on a random log. It was exhausting, hauling a bag of supplies plus a little girl, all by yourself. You huff a little, pulling out a water bottle to drink from.

You offer her some as well. She takes a small swig and sighs. She swings her little feet off the side of the log, seemingly forgotten about the scene from just a moment ago.

"You're pretty..." she hums. 

You perk up. It's the first she's properly spoken to you. You manage a small gentle smile, twisting some of her hair in your fingers, "I think you're prettier."

She shakes her head, "not true. Jiji told me you have stars in your eyes. He's right."

"Jiji?" You question. She points down to her foot. "Right, Jisung," she nods, "he told you that?"

"He also said you have a kind heart and that- that if I ever needed something- I can ask you."

"He's right about that one." You smile. "What's your name little one?"

"Hannah." She smiles, "like my mama!"

"It's a very pretty name Hannah." You smooth down her arms. 

You're about the ask more questions now that she's speaking, but there's the sound of a twig snapping that catches your attention. 

You jump into action immediately, wielding the knife Minho gave you.

After a moment more, nothing. 

You sigh and gather your things, "alright little one, we've got to get going. Let's go back up to the road huh? It's a little be safer up there."

She nods and reaches out her arms, ready for you to lift her onto your back. 

And for the most part, you're right. The road is safer. It's more open, sure, but you believe it's better to see the enemies approaching rather than them hiding in the treeline.

As you walk, Hannah babbles things in your ear. You find she's actually quite talkative. Infact, she won't stop.

"My mama always liked blue but I like yellow! You can draw so many things with yellow! Do you like drawing? I love drawing! I wish I could draw now! Do you have anything I can draw with?"

There's barely a moment for you to get a word in. You chuckle, because she reminds you of yourself.

"So like... you know how to do all this because you liked camping before the world went to shit?"

"Precisely," Minho says, fiddling with another trap.

"So you hunted too?"

"Yes."

"Did you hunt big things or small?"

"Do you ever shut up?" He asks, shaking his head.

"Do you ever open up?"

"No." He states.

"Well I won't shut up until you do,"

"Anyway, that's pretty much what my room used to look like." Hannah finishes.

You hear a rumble in the distance. A familiar rumble. 

"Shit," you curse and hear Hannah repeat it back to you. You don't have time to scold her, deciding to duck down behind another car. You signal to Hannah to be quiet, and she copies your movement.

The truck, familiar in it's sounds, sputters as it approaches. You know that sound. It's about to cark it. 

Soon enough, the engine pops and the distinct rumble of the engine seizes. You wait a moment, expecting to hear doors opening and closing. Instead it's just one. 

You peer under the car, finding only one pair of boots. Hyunjins boots. You curse silently again, leaning back up against the car. 

You hear him open the bonnet, coughing on what you assume to be smoke coming out of the engine. You hear him stumble back.

He's muttering something you can't quite understand.

And then there's the part of you that wants to stand up. Wants to walk over there, wants to help. And it's overwhelming and hard to fight. 

You wish you had Minho's resolve. To only care about one other person and care about them so fully. 

But you don't. So you stand.

"It's out of fuel." You state. He turns around. The rest of the group is nowhere to be found.

Hyunjin stares at you for a moment, "what are you doing here?"

"It's not going to go unless there's fuel in it. It's either that or it's low on oil." You turn to the car you were hiding behind. It looks to be in pretty good condition. 

You turn back to the truck and start walking over.

Hyunjin draws his gun, "what are you doing?"

"Fixing it."

"I didn't ask for your help." He points the gun at Hannah, who hides behind your legs again.

"But you need it," you peer into the truck, looking over the machinery. You pull out the dipstick, wiping it over your sleeves before dipping it back in. When you pull it out, the oil level is low. "Needs more oil. There's a pint of it under the passenger seat." You state, before looking over the other parts of the engine. 

When you see he doesn't move, you turn to him and spit, "can you get it for me?"

The gun is still pointed at the child. 

"She's not going to bite you..." you look down to see her big brown eyes looking back at you, "probably not... the quicker you get the oil the quicker I can fix this for you."

Hyunjin looks between you both before huffing and making his way over to the passenger side. As you had said, there was a pint of oil under there. He hands it back to you and you begin pouring it in. 

"There's a canister and a tube in the tray, too... go siphon the fuel from the other car over there."

Hyunjin looks over to the other car, "I... I don't know how to do that."

You smile a little at that, "that's okay. Just get the stuff and I'll show you." 

"Basically, you just put your thumb on the end of the tube here," you demonstrate, "then feed the other end into the fuel cap like this," you feed the tube in and bring the canister closer to you at the same time, "then you have to lower the tube below the fuel cap before releasing and..." fuel begins pouring out of the car and into the canister, "voila!"

"That's actually quite easy," Hyunjin speaks.

"Yeah, takes a bit of practice sometimes." You peer into the canister when it was done, "that's probably not enough," you look around at the other abandoned cars on the road. "Would you like to try on that one?"

Hyunjin nods. 

He does it quite successfully. You watch it all flow through and ask the question burning in your throat, "where's everyone else?"

"Gone looking for you." He states.

"Me? Did you- did you not tell them about... about her?"

"I did..." he stated, "but they still insisted that you were one of us now and that we couldn't leave you behind."

You shake your head, "that's ridiculous... they left you because they were looking for me?"

"I left them because they were looking for you."

"Ah," you nod. You pick up the canister, "well this should be enough to get you where you need to go," you hand it to him, "I trust you know how to fill a car up?"

He breathes something of a laugh before snatching the canister from you. He looks around before asking, "where's the girl?"

You whip your head around at the mention. She was nowhere to be found.

"Hannah?" You call out.

"Hannah?" Hyunjin asks, recognition in his voice.

"Hannah!" You call again. She hums loudly as a response. 

You follow it.

She's beside the car, drawing pictures into the dirt caked on the door with her finger. 

You groan, "you scared me little one!" You kneel beside her, "you have to keep close to me remember? That's how I'm going to keep you safe!"

She looks a little sad at the scolding.

"Wow," Hyunjin breathes, eyes looking over the drawing on the side of the car, "did you draw this?"

She nods, but huddles up to your side. 

Hyunjin kneels down too, "that's pretty good..." he looks directly at her before reaching into his jacket pocket and pulling out a small book. He flips to a page and turns it around to show her, "this is mine."

You lean closer to see it. It's a simple drawing of flowers. But they're pretty and well-drawn.

"You drew this?" You ask. He nods. 

Hannah hesitates to look closer, looking up at you nearly like she's asking permission. She's not. She's asking if it's safe.

"It's okay," you mutter, "you can look."

She steps closer, eyeing over the piece.

"Pretty," she mumbles.

Hyunjins eyes widen, "you talk?"

She giggles, "yes."

He turns to you, expression softening a little. He falls on his knees in front of her. He holds out his hand, eyeing her arm. He looks at you, softening his voice to ask, "can I see?"

She looks back to you. You nod.

She places her hand in his, tiny fingers resting on his long ones. He rolls up her sleeve, gasping at the marks there. 

The one he'd seen before, the one that caused him to draw his gun, once bright red and angry, now faded. Still fresh, but healed.

He brushes his fingers over it. She doesn't even flinch. "Does it not hurt?"

She shakes her head, "the first one did. This one doesn't."

Hyunjin sighs, rolling her sleeve back down and turns his head up to you. "How is this possible?"

"I'm not sure," you slump against the back of the car, "but I think I know where I can find some answers."

Jisung was staring at Chan's back. He was walking in front of everyone. He hadn't said much since they left, just calling out directions and warnings. Nothing about the situation at hand.

"Do you think we'll see him again?" Felix pipes up, voice barely whispered.

"Who?" Jisung asks.

"Hyunjin." Changbin finishes.

Jisung sighs and darts his eyes to the ground. He's not sure how to answer that question. He wants to see him again. He needs to see him again. But he also knows Hyunjin. He knows he hates admitting he's wrong, he hates looking weak or vulnerable or even worse, stupid.

Jisung wanted to say, 'of course we will, we're a family, we stick together,' but things are different now. Not just because of you, but because of the girl too. And the knowledge of the captors in the mountains who had taken their own two youngest. 

"I hope so," Jisung settles on. He's unable to say anything else.

"He's not stupid." Changbin states, "he needs us. His chances of surviving by himself are significantly lower. He just needs time to cool off."

"This felt different though," Felix starts. He thinks back to that moment, when Hyunjin pulled the gun on the little girl. He's been replaying it since it happened, "there was this look in his eye I'd never seen before."

"You think he's gone mad?" Changbin scoffs out.

"No," Felix doesn't laugh. He turns to Changbin, "I think there's something else going on that he won't say."

"Like what?" Jisung questions.

Felix shrugs, "not sure. But I think Hyunjins been different since the school."

Jisung nods like he understands, maybe hoping that in pretending he does, he will. But it doesn't make sense. What about the school would make him turn a gun on a child? When has happened since then that would have caused him to behave this way?

Regardless of understanding, Jisung still held out hope that they would reunite. Whether it was here, or in the mountains. Either way, he was certain now; he hasn't seen the last of Hyunjin.

Then Hyunjin found himself trying to convince you to get in the truck with him, so he could drive you to the hospital. You refused, because why all of a sudden would he want this?

"Please," Hyunjin's expression softened. You hadn't known him long, but it was the softest you'd seen him. "I got you into this mess. It's the least I can do for you now. And when you're done you can take the truck, go wherever you want to go!"

You look down at the tiny figure, still limping from her injury. It would be easier, you wouldn't have to carry her. 

Whether it was your heart softening to Hyunjins offer, or the prospect of getting the truck back at the end of it, you found yourself climbing inside. 

Hyunjin adjusts in the driver's seat, sticking the key in and turning it. It doesn't budge.

"Sometimes you gotta push in on it while you turn it," you say calmly, leaning over the small child between you to demonstrate. The engine roars to life.

"You really are handy to have around," Hyunjin jokes. 

You try to laugh, but it doesn't sound quite right. He notices.

Before he puts the car into gear, he turns to you, eyes pleading. 

"I'm sorry." He says. Simple. Nothing much else to it until, "I was scared. I've been scared. But that was no excuse for the way I behaved. I told you to trust us, to lean on us, and I ended up being the betrayer."

"I did lie." You state, "not directly, but I kept it hidden. I didn't intend too, I was just trying to understand it myself first."

Hyunjin nods like he accepts this answer. Breathing heavy until, "is there any chance you forgive me and we can move on from this?"

"Hyunjin..." you breathe out, "I don't blame you. I'm not sure I would have done anything differently if I was in your position."

"Except that you did." He points out, "you saved her. You knew and instead of leaving her there to die, you saved her. You're like... you're like the opposite of the world right now. You're like... you're like the kindest person I know... it's probably gonna get you killed," he laughed, turning back to face the road.

You gasp, "rude! I'll have you know I managed to convince one of those wretched things to back off instead of killing it!"

He turns back to you. There's a moment where he actually believes you, "really?"

"No!" You laugh out, "how would that even work?"

"You're the worst!" Hyunjin shakes his head, putting the car into gear.

"Yeah, well that makes two of us." You laugh out, and soon the whole car is filled with it.

"We should set up camp!" Changbin shouts out to Chan, "it's getting late!"

"We have to keep going! If we stop, she would have left by then."

"She's smart enough not to go in there at night Chan," Changbin runs to catch up with him so they can lower their voices, "she knows that."

"Does she?" Chan turns to him.

Changbin sees it for the first time then. The guilt, the stress, the overwhelming feeling of needing to protect someone who has gone awol. His eyes are red-rimmed, almost like he had been crying but not quite; just holding on enough not to, but the evidence is there. 

Changbin can nearly see the weight on his shoulders. The decision he made to chase after you instead of staying with Hyunjin. How he almost lost the rest of them. Changbin can see it looming over Chan like death waiting to collect. 

He places a gentle hand on his shoulders, and watches the shadow fade a little, "you're tired. We should rest."

"I can't," Chan breathes, voice trembling and breaking, "I can't."

Changbin sighs, "I know Chan. But you have to."

He yields, nodding his head to allow Changbin to start giving orders. Jisung in charge of the fire, Felix and Changbin in charge of setting up the tents and Chan has been ordered to sit.

Jisung wanders into the treeline, collecting the branches he deems perfect for the fire. He was smart enough to empty a bag before coming so he didn't have to balance the crutch and the wood at the same time. 

But he was doing well, collecting enough wood that they could start the fire. 

He hadn't realised how far in he had gone until he turned around and didn't see the road. 

"Guys?" He called out instinctively, and without thinking again, "guys?"

Movement behind him caused him to turn around. 

Nothing.

Not a single branch twitched, not one leaf was falling. It had gone quiet. The space was eerily still, like something was settling over the small patch of forest and waiting... hunting.

Something settled in his stomach too. It built the longer he waited. But his feet were planted, unable to move out of fear or confusion or just plain stupidity. Not to mention his inability to run currently. 

Another rustle, a twig snap and a figure appeared.

The signature smell of rotting flesh wafting straight up his nose. The figure before him was coated in a thick layer of fresh blood, dripping off it's figure and leaving a trail of it as it limps towards him. 

Jisung notices now that the figure is missing it's right foot. Arteries and muscles are dangling loose from where it once was, dragging along the forest floor. 

It snarls, blood and pieces of flesh flying from its mouth as it does. 

It's moving slowly. So slowly that Jisung isn't afraid anymore. Even in his state, he could easily outrun that thing.

But it was the state of the creature that captured his full attention. Because it's skin wasn't grey, but still held a light, healthy skin tone to it. There's blood still seeping from the stump at the end of it's leg. Everything about the creature screamed fresh. 

Freshly made, freshly turned, freshly fed. 

It was then that Jisungs fear returned. Were there more close by? Could they hear him? Smell him? Were they on their way here now?

His thoughts are cut short by the whoosh of a knife passed his head. It lands directly between the creatures eyes, and it falls to the ground limp.

He turns to see Chan, breathing heavy. He pays Jisung no mind, instead walking over to the creature to retrieve his knife.

When he bends and grabs the handle, he twists it to ensure the thing is dead. He retrieves the knife but examines the body. 

He sees what Jisung sees. A dead creature, freshly awoken from its slumber. 

Finally he rises, "C'mon. Let's head back."

"What if there's more coming?"

"Then we better get back to camp huh?"

The sun was nearly set by the time you and Hyunjin made it to the hospital. There was an orange glow illuminating the sky. 

You hated when the world was like this. So pretty and easy to gawk at. It makes you forget the reality you live in. The nightmare that the world has become, fading into beautiful orange hues and giant fluffy clouds. It's sickening how easy it is for the earth to continue creating and breathing when it feels like everything has ended. 

It's quieter here than the last time. Where the undead used to roam around the front, now is empty space. 

Hyunjin pulls up closer to the side door you had exited from when Minho told you to run. 

Your body feels numb and your blood runs cold. Why did you think it was a good idea to come back here? Why did you think you could face this?

"Are you okay?" Hyunjin inquires. His full attention is on you.

You hum in response, eyes still focusing on the door you'd ran out of. "I don't know what we're going to find in there is all."

"Yeah," Hyunjin nods, his voice low and long, hoping to find the right words along the way. There's nothing. "What are you hoping to find?"

You scoff something of a laugh out and turn to look at him, "I'm hoping Minho's in there having a cup of tea right now but I know that's wrong." You look back over to the hospital. You sigh, "in all truth?"

Hyunjin hums.

"Jisung told me this story about his dad. About how he watched him turn, but couldn't kill him. Knowing that he's out there somewhere as one of those things was eating him alive. And honestly, I think becoming one of them is worse than death." You think for a moment, the car entirely silent. "It's horrible, but I'm hoping I find him in there in some capacity. Whether he's torn to shreds and covering the walls or walking around waiting for someone to finish the job." You swallow loudly, "and I'm going to be the one to do it. I have to be the one to do it."

No one moves. 

Hannah whose sat between you both, although she doesn't really understand what's going on, places a small hand in yours. She scooches in to your side, just invading your space with warmth.

"We should wait till morning anyway," Hyunjin says finally. "This place is bad enough on it's own."

You nod.

"Get some rest," he says, "I'll take first watch."

"Are you sure?"

He nods, reaching out to smooth down Hannah's hair. 

Jisung found it hard to sleep that night. There was this undeniable pull between you and him that he couldn't shake. Sure, you'd saved his life, so he keeps telling himself that's it. But the more he thinks about it, the more he feels there's something more.

With you gone and no way to fully know if you'll meet again, his brain won't still. How could Hyunjin drive you away like that? Should Jisung have said something sooner? Would the results be the same?

At the very least, Jisung knows one fact. If he went with you to the river, he would've stayed. He would've followed you anywhere. 

It's a dangerous feeling, an intrusive feeling. A wave of guilt washes over him at the fact that he could so easily leave the family he's with. The ones who saved him countless other times. His heart turns knowing how much he would risk for you.

He starts thinking about what will happen if he doesn't find you in the hospital.  What will happen if you're not there? If you've gone somewhere else entirely? 

He stirs a little more, and a whispered voice breaks him out of his thinking. He still pretends to sleep.

"Channie?" It's Felix's voice, usually low and intimidating, now soft and broken.

"Mmm?" he replies.

"Why are we doing this?" It's honest. It's jarring. It's a question Chan hoped none of them asked.

"I told you," Chan starts, "Minho asked me to take care of her. That's what I'm doing."

"I think there's more to the story," Felix sighs, "and I know you don't want to tell us, but I'm just confused. Why are you chasing after her and not Hyunjin?"

Chan rubs a hand over his face, "it's not that I'm not looking for him, I just... I just hope that wherever my sister is, there's someone taking care of her too." He looks over to Felix, "Hyunjin's strong and Changbins right, he'll come to his senses. We'll see him again. But Y/N? We've just torn her away from her brother. And she has no answers as to his fate. She's not thinking straight. That's dangerous in a world like this. She's going to get herself killed. Her and the girl."

Felix nods, "right... but what happens if we don't find her at the hospital? How long are we going to search for her before we set back to the real mission?"

"Which is what?"

"Going to find Seungmin and Jeongin." Felix states with a huff, "it's been long enough. We've got enough supplies now to go into the mountains. But are we going to waste them on a girl who doesn't want to be found or are we going to find our brothers?"

Chan sighs and the camp stills for a moment too long. 

"If we don't find her at the hospital, then we'll head for the mountains." Chan breathes, but his voice is unconvincing. 

"You're going to hurt yourself more if you don't let me help," your voice is stern but pleading.

"I'm fine." Minho sterns, working his way through another hallway in search of supplies.

"You're very clearly not," you reply, watching as he rolls his shoulder back in discomfort, "you've been ramming into too many doors," you chuckle out.

"I don't see you trying to kick down the doors."

"You won't even let me hold your gun," you retaliate. And then, under your breath, "I don't even know why you keep me around..."

You're fiddling with something on the bench of the broken down kitchen. You don't see the way he looks at you after that comment. But you can hear his voice loud and clear, even though he tries to hide it, "because I care about you."

When you look up, he's gone. Run off into another room to hide under the guise of looking for supplies.

He was always like this. Saying the most heartfelt things and then running away to hide. 

But you heard it.

When you wandered into the room he went in, the air feels different. The room is neat and pristine. Clean. No sight of blood or dirt. It's disturbing. 

"Shit," you mutter as you walk further in. 

Minho's arm reaches out to stop you, "wait."

"What?"

"Something's off about this..." he looks around the room, "everywhere else we've been it's carnage. Why's it so clean in here?"

"I dunno," you shrug, "maybe someone lives here," you laugh.

"Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Don't say that," he looks around the room again, "you might be right..."

"What do you mean?"

You both turn when a thud from the other side of the house rings loudly down the hall.

You wake up with a start. The sun is well up by now. You breathe a little heavy, eyes wandering over to the hospital at the memory of Minho.

Once you're settled, you turn back to the car. It's empty.

A dread drops into your stomach. He's taken the kid. He's going to kill her. 

Fuck.

All the niceties, all the apologising- it was all a front! He never wanted to make amends, he wanted to lure you in like a honey trap. 

Your hands fumble for the door, reeling it open quickly. 

"Hannah!" You call, "Hannah?"

You hear a squeal. Her squeal. You rush towards it, scrambling for your dagger. 

You reach around the truck, and the sight before you nearly makes you sick.

Hannah is knelt on the floor, chasing after a lizard. Hyunjin's right beside her, admiring her as she does.

Shit, you think.

Your dagger finds its home again as you walk closer to the scene. 

Hyunjin's the first to see you, rising to meet you. He can tell by your breathing that something's wrong, "hey," his voice is so soft it makes you want to throw up, "are you okay?"

No, you want to say. No I assumed the worst of you. Instead, you say, "yeah... just a bad dream..."

He nods like he understands. He reaches out a hand to run along your back, "it's okay... you're safe yeah? You're safe."

You want to throw up.

"Look!" Hannah calls, running over to you and lifting up the lizard she found. "Lizard!"

"Yeah," you force a smile and kneel to her level, "you caught it?"

"Mmhm," she nods, "can I keep it?"

You sigh, "we don't have anywhere to keep it."

"In your bag!"

You giggle a little, "there's no air for him to breath in there."

She frowns slightly and huffs, "but he's my friend."

"I know darling," you pat her arm, "but sometimes we have to let our friends go so they can live happy lives. He won't be very happy inside my bag."

She nods, trying to understand. She does to some degree, because she kneels down and places the lizard on the floor, "bye bye lizzy," she mutters as she watches it scurry off across the road.

You both stand back up.

You all take a moment to eat some breakfast. Just some cans of mixed things leftover in the truck. You don't bother heating them up.

After you've eaten, both you and Hyunjin are checking over your weapons. Hyunjin checks his bullets and runs his finger along the blade of his machete to check it's still sharp.

"Right, so we know we can enter through the side door," you speak, "so we'll start there."

"Y/N..." Hyunjin stills, "I don't think we have the manpower to check over the whole hospital."

"I know... but if we go in there and something points us elsewhere I have to go."

Hyunjin nods before turning to Hannah, "alright honey, you stay behind me and in front of Y/N okay?"

She nods, determined.

With the plan set, you all make your way over to the hospital. 

It's quieter than it was the last time you came. No undead roaming the entrances, no mysterious sounds emanating from inside. 

Hyunjin has his gun readied, held out at arms length with both of his arms. It's hard to focus on the task at hand, considering the man's biceps are clouding your line of sight.

He pokes the door open with his gun and leans inside, turning this way and that. He takes one step in, then another and soon, all three of you are stood in the room you last saw Minho.

You train your eyes to the door, where Minho's body was pressed against. Where he begged you to leave. Where he promised you he would be right behind you.

It's hard to breathe, hard to see, hard to feel.

Because without looking around, you're filled with the absolute knowledge that Minho is dead.

"Is that the truck?" Jisung nearly shouts, his eyes trained to the familiar truck parked in front of the hospital.

"Holy shit," Chan picks up his walking into a slight jog.

"Does that mean Hyunjins here too?" Felix jogs beside Chan.

Changbin stays back with Jisung, who is desperately trying to pick up his pace. They meet back up with Felix and Chan as they are looking over the truck.

Chan's eyes drift up to the hospital.

"How long do you think he's been here?" Changbin asks, "do you think he went after Y/N? Went after the girl?"

Chan shakes his head. Not as an answer, but to rid the thought from his mind. He changes the topic, annoucing, "same as last time, no guns. We're going through the side entrance. If Y/N's in there, that's where she would have started."

"What about Hyunjin?" Felix asks, his body turned toward the truck, hesitant to leave it.

"You're welcome to stay by the truck," Chan offers, already walking towards the hospital.

Felix sighs and looks over at the other two. Changbin is pulling a bat from the tray of the truck and Jisung is pulling out his dagger. 

He stays behind only for a moment, long enough for Jisung and Changbin to catch up with Chan, and then he too is following after them.

It's nearly identical how Chan pushes open the door, his hatchet firmly in hand as he steps into the room. 

His heart breaks when his eyes land on you. It's hard to miss.

On the opposite side of the room, you're knelt over in front of the door Minho was holding. You're staring down into your lap, focusing on something Chan can't see.

"She's been like that for awhile," a voice beside him makes him flinch. When he turns, he sees Hyunjin.

"Hyunjin!" Felix nearly yells, rushing towards him for an embrace. When he pulls back he slaps his arm, "have you come to your senses yet?"

Hyunjin nods solemnly. "I'm sorry about before."

"It's not us that need it," Chan mutters, voice cold.

"I've already apologized to her." Hyunjin points out, "why else are we here together?"

"You're not going to kill the child?" Chan asks.

"No," Hyunjin steps forward a little, eyes glazing over, "no I was stupid and inconsiderate. I was scared. But I understand now. She helped me understand."

At the mention of you, Chan looks back. He sees Jisung knelt beside you.

Neither of you speak, neither of you move. Instead, he places a comforting hand on your back.

Chan sighs and makes his way over.

He sits beside you.

He sees what you're holding. A torn piece of Minho's shirt. Clean, no blood. But he watches as a tear hits the fabric and his gaze is brought up to your face.

"He's dead." You state. It's not a question. It's nothing that warrants a reply. And then he swears you shrink. You climb into yourself and physically become smaller, broken. Shaky and whispered, "he said he was right behind me." 

And the dam breaks. Uncontrollable tears, rushing down your face. 

Jisung doesn't hesitate, he pulls you closer to his side, soothing his hands along your arms. "It's okay... I've got you... I've got you..."

Chan reaches out too, hand landing on your back, his own tears falling now, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Y/N... it should have been me... it-"

"No," you choke out, "don't do that."

"We argued about who would stay," he admits, "about who would hold the door a little longer for the other to escape and I- I should've fought harder-"

You lift yourself from Jisung's arms and lean across into Chans. He captures you with no hesitation, "it's not your fault," you sob, then lower, "he was always so stubborn."

Chan chuckles at that, but it comes out wet with tears. He pulls you back to look at you, "he asked me to take care of you..." he watches you for a reaction. There's a flicker of something sweet in your eyes, "will you let me do that?"

You nod, hugging him tighter again.

Changbin can't handle it. The sound of your sobbing. So he wanders through another door, leading to an old staff room of sorts. Hyunjin and Felix follow, Hannah not far behind.

Hyunjin's looking over the place, taking in the mess that was the room. His eyes scan over torn pages, overturned medicine carts and blood splattered walls. Then his eyes land on the map on the wall. Clean enough to be distinctive. He assumes it's for ambulance routes or something, he doesn't really care. 

All he cares about is that it's up to date, unlike the map they had found in the school.

"Guys," Hyunjin calls over. Hannah was holding tight to Hyunjins hand, trying to crane her neck to see too, "were these tunnels always here?" He points to them.

Clearly marked, a quicker route through the mountains. The coordinates they found were clear but difficult. A mountain hidden behind another mountain. They had always planned to go around it, as climbing over and down would exert too much energy, far too dangerous and deplete all their supplies. So they settled on going around.

But here laid the answer. The tunnels.

"So if we go through these tunnels..." Felix steps closer to the map, "we land here," he points, "and then it's a what-" he works it out in his head, "it's a 2 day walk to the base of the mountain, then we have to climb it... I mean these tunnels are going to take us a while to reach anyway... doubt the car has much fuel left..."

"Point is," Hyunjin interrupts, "this is our quickest route to get to the mountains. We were always going to have to surpass this mountain anyway."

"We don't know what's in there though," Changbin says.

"Well we've got a pretty solid group right now," Hyunjin points out, "it'll take us about two weeks on foot to get there. Jisungs foot should be healed by then."

"I guess you're right." Changbin sighs, "we should run this by Chan."

They both nod, all of them heading back into the main room.

You're stood up when they enter, and Hannah is the first to run up to you.

"Hannah," you sigh, picking her up and bringing her into a tight hug.

Chan stills next to you. In fact, so do Jisung, Felix and Changbin. They all know that name.

"Hannah?" Chan squeaks out.

You turn and nod, "yeah, turns out she can speak," you laugh a little, "Hannah this is Chan."

His heart breaks hearing both of those names in the same sentence. You see it on his face and he nears closer to you both. "That was my sisters name..." he whispers, brushing a strand of hair from the little girls face. He swallows loudly, and with it his tears. "I have something for you Hannah," he reaches into his bag, pulling out the fresh clothes and bear, "these are for you."

Of course, she reaches for the bear first with a tiny gasp. 

"What do you say Hannah?"

"Thank you!"

His heart melts at the gesture, handing the clothes over to you.

You wander over to a corner and help Hannah change into fresh clothes. You overhear Hyunjin and Changbin relay the plan to Chan. He has no qualms with it.

When you come back over, Hannah's arms are now exposed. Those who hadn't seen the marks before are now staring at them. 

Chan swallows and looks up to you, "are you sure they're all healed?"

"Yes." Hyunjin answers for you. He breathes, "the one Lix and I saw before was bright red and now," he walks over, soothing over the mark on Hannah's arm, "now it's practically gone. I've seen it heal."

Chan nods, "okay." He looks over the group, "okay. Gather up everything you may need. Then we're setting course for the tunnels."

previous ... next

a/n: some things aren't quite adding up huh? hehe y'all should let me know if you've got theories i'm curious...

taglist: