On Route 95 to Philadelphia, USA
On top form, Oasis re-boarded the tour bus for the overnight drive to Philadelphia. Thanks are due here to Mr. Jack Daniel's, top bloke, whose whiskey fuelled the journey, fine-tuning Noel's razor-sharp wit until we were all roaring with laughter.
Stopping off at the services at 4am for a bite to eat, Noel spotted a "Now Hiring" sign at the entrance to the McDonald's. Completely off his head by now, he asked the manageress for an application form.
The form read:
"Q: Name? A: Noel Thomas Gallagher.
Q: How far do you live from the restaurant? A: 2,000 miles.
Q: Last job? A: Vice squad.
Q: Telephone number? A: 0800 SADDO.
Q: Reasons for leaving last job? A: Not enough crack intake.
Q: Dates worked at last job? A: 8 BC to 2,000 AD."
He left this at the desk and we strolled outside with our burgers and fries. Noel then asked me to take a picture of him standing beneath the McDonald's sign. I couldn't understand why he was so keen until he pointed upwards, saying "Read it, read the sign Slatts." It read "BILLIONS SOLD." "That's gonna be us soon," he said. "They'll have to paint out the McDONALD'S and write up OASIS."
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