Of Wanderlust & Fangirling

Also part of that DragonCon photoshoot - dual Simmonses. Two sides of the same coin.

Jemma Simmons (undead): Stephanie Lane Jackson // @eclecticmuses Jemma Simmons: Karen Patriquin Guest Photographer: S.R. Medeiros 

Got to exercise some different photography skills over the weekend at DragonCon, where I did a little Agents of SHIELD cosplay photoshoot for some friends. Recreated a scene from S4Ep20, with a brainwashed Fitz threatening Simmons.

Jemma Simmons: Karen Patriquin Guest Leo Fitz: Jason Michael Bray // @jasonmichealbray  Photographer: S.R. Medeiros 

(Originally posted on my Facebook.)

After a troubled night, I come back online with an anecdote and a thought (or two).

Yesterday morning, when I walked up to my polling station, the Clinton and the Trump supporter were standing side-by-side at the entrance. When the Trump supporter - an older white gentleman wearing one of those red MAGA caps - took a step forward with his literature, I automatically (instinctively, without forethought) said to him: "Oh *hell* no." I then followed that by a quieter, "sorry, but no." The older white lady wearing a Hillary sticker then swooped in with a smile to give me the information I wanted. I happily greeted her and took what she had to offer.

I share that anecdote because I remain at a loss for how I'm to deal with people who were ignorant enough to consciously elect that hatemonger into the highest office of our country. I tried not to be rude to the campaign supporter yesterday, but that vitriol - mildly comic though it may have been at the time - was potent. I'm genuinely not sure how to reconcile that feeling with nearly 50% of the population of this country. This will be a battle that I have with myself for the foreseeable future, and forgive me if I, at times, cannot rein in my anger and frustration. It will happen. I'm not perfect, and I am very, very upset. Denying that seems pointless.

The thought I wanted to share, however, was that the greatest strength I am taking - that we can all take - right now is from our loved ones. My Facebook feed is evidently well cultivated enough that this is the case for me (unlike, I'm sure, it is for many of you), but I was warmed to see all of the like-minded posts on my feed this morning. Some were of rage, some were of despair, some were of determination and hope. I am heartened by seeing that genuine mix of responses coming from a few hundred strong people who all feel as I do: upset, in some variation.

One of my dearest friends, Justin, spent hours with me on Skype yesterday evening and well into this morning, both of us fretting but keeping each other sane in the best way we know how, and for that and him I am deeply grateful. I spoke to my mother earlier this morning, who is wearing all black today in a show of protest but who also urged me to put one foot in front of the other nonetheless. I received an email from my father, in response to the tearful one I sent both of them in the wee hours of this morning, who urged me not to lose hope.

I don't know where the next four years will take us. I don't know where the next two months will take us. But I am grateful for all the people that I have in my life right now who will carry on by my side. We are #StrongerTogether. And I thank you for that.

(Posted originally on my Facebook at around 1 AM on Nov. 9, 2016)

I have spent many years learning that the world I explored and loved and grew up in is not quite the one that I have found upon entering adulthood.

Tonight I am being forced to accept that not only is that true, but that this country is far more horrifying and unwelcoming than I could have predicted.

I'm scared. I don't want to be here anymore. But I also don't know where else to go.

I wish I had words of comfort, but I'm afraid I don't. All I have is to hold on to those I love and vow that I will never become like the people who voted for him. He can take my country, but he cannot take who I am.

This speaks to a broader human truth: We all need to be needed.

Being “needed” does not entail selfish pride or unhealthy attachment to the worldly esteem of others. Rather, it consists of a natural human hunger to serve our fellow men and women. As the 13th-century Buddhist sages taught, “If one lights a fire for others, it will also brighten one’s own way.”