So ist es.

I was busy;

but not in a way most people understand.

I was busy taking deeper breaths.

I was busy silencing irrational thoughts.

I was busy calming a racing heart.

I was busy telling myself I am okay.

Sometimes, this is my busy -

and I will not apologize for it.”

- Brittin Oakman

What I want is so incredibly simple, it is laughable. I just want to live. I want to love. Fill myself with love. I want to feel life and all its beauty. I want to see the world and go to places. I am so stuck in my home, in my room. I feel like a caged bird who has her wings cut. Or maybe she just believes she has no wings.

I want to write about life, about the stories people around me have. I want to read books, eat tasty things I have never tasted. I want to actually live my life.

I don't want to have thoughts of dying, or wishing I didn't exist. I don't want to feel uncomfortable in my own skin. I don't want to runaway from my memories like monsters chasing me. I don't want to be scared of my own thoughts.