sarcasm is my only defense

quick protip: if someone is crying or freaking out over something minor, eg wifi not connecting, can’t find their hat, people talking too loud, do NOT tell them how small or petty the problem is to make it better. they know. they would probably love to calm down. you are doing the furthest possible thing from helping. people don’t have to earn expressions of feelings.

Needed this today.

People don’t actually go from 0 to 60. If you think they did, you have failed to notice how long they’ve been at 59.

People don’t actually go from 0 to 60. If you think they did, you have failed to notice how long they’ve been at 59.

humans can be so cute and funny and i love them

Girls will say they busy and be in their bed relaxin or sleep

Sounds busy to me

do you ever tire of how, like, dramatic anxiety is?? it’s like. bitch. bitch. it’s not that serious. we’ll live. it’ll probably be a pain in the ass, but we’ll live. so stop making me feel like i’m actively dying.

Growing up fat, you get made fun of for everything you do, even basic shit like eating and laughing and breathing are funny when you do it because youre fat! And its so hard to not carry that with you as you get older, like I’m still embarassed to eat or dance in front of people or smile in pictures and its ridiculous and I hate it and I wish I was treated with more humanity

Thin people can reblog this btw

they wont tho lmao

I want a relationship that’s just like super cool friendship with like kissing

so everyone is aware, a lower score on this means a better score.

I got a 30!!!!!!!! Yes!

7, but i’m an art student so

Elephants are too pure for this world

I love the mums reaction like “I know what’s coming”

You gotta love Ryan Reynolds, because he truly was born to play this character.

He’s a canadian composed of snark. He basically is deadpool minus the tragic backstory

let’s be honest, Green Lantern was his tragic backstory 

It isn’t a fanfic unless Main Character has to tear their gaze away from the strip of skin revealed above Love Interest’s waistband when they casually stretch their arms above their head.

you can pry this trope from my cold dead hands