Squeaky-shoes

When a baby is born, a tarot spread is done to ask the spirits what the baby’s life will be like. The witch’s face falls, and they tell your parents you have… a very unusual spread.

“Ma’am, these are uno cards.”

do u ever just wish u could be an ancient oracle and your whole job was to do weed and tell stupid riddles to rich conquerors only for them to misinterpret your words and die

THE LEGENDARY LINE IS BACK

Do non-americans realize that the United States is literally just a bunch of countries in a trench coat that agreed to be semi-nice to each other in order to sneak into the Big Boy Club? Because let’s be honest that’s just what the USA is

I love how everyone who’s reblogged this hasn’t added anything on or tagged anything on it. They’re all just like “Yeah. That’s it. That’s the entire United States summed up in one post-”

who else is in the mood to walk barefoot over the moors in a blood-red velvet ballgown w anguish in ur soul and wet leaves in ur hair while the wind blows moodily and dramatically?

can we all get mcdonalds afterwards

we all deserve it so yes absolutely. my treat

why viddy gaem…. Spensive……

Im not an expert so please take this with a grain of salt but every time we touch I get this feeling and every time we kiss i swear i can fly. Can’t you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last. Need you by my side.. cause every time we touch i ge

Oh fuck 🤣🤣🤣

🤣🤣🤣

DISNEY MIGHT KIDNAP YOU AND MAKE YOU WORK FOR THEM