The Signs as Explained by a Licensed Dumbass who got all of their Astrology Knowledge from Vines
I keep getting âthe signs as vinesâ or âvines explain the zodiacâ videos in my YouTube feed, so I, a clueless fucker, thought Iâd learn some astrology using only vines. This is the resulting conclusions Iâve come to.
Aries:
a bit of a disaster
got priorities
childish
acts hard but is super soft
takes shit from no one
Taurus:
realist
done with anything
takes zero (0) sass
at peace
questionably wise
Gemini:
FUCKING CRAZY
LIKE, MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE
fake
0 to 100, real quick
SERIOUSLY WHAT
Cancer:
lives in a constant state of regret
dramatic
weird
cries while arguing
means well but has alien brains and doesnât know how to show kindness in a regular way
Leo:
confident
lives in a reality show
extra as fuck
bad bitch contest they in first place
life is a stage, and theyâre the main event
Virgo:
Stressedâ˘
perfectionist
petty
not the fun type of bitch
needs a damn chill pill
Libra:
a disney princess
canât stay mad
loves animals
probably the protagonist of a young adult romance novel
or a future tragic murder victim
Scorpio:
fucking WILD
loves starting shit
knows theyâll die one day so the go HARD while they can
canât bother pretending to be satisfied with their current situation
three emotions: screaming, grumping, or laughing their ass off
Sagittarius:
optimist
ready to fucking party at any time
doesnât care what anyone thinks
honest
all-around fun person
Capricorn:
â:)â
new age nihilism
perpetually sad
bottled up emotions
life may or may not be in shambles, hard to tell when they always act fucking numb
Aquarius:
the fun kind of bitch
sassy urban friend
passive aggressive
âTry me, slut đâ
when you do something stupid, they have their phone out recording itÂ
Pisces:
confused 25/8
innocent and means well
their actions may deceive you into thinking they donât give a fuck, but in reality they give fucks like a reverse birthday
can speak to animals
mind exists and perceives a whole other dimension than our own.
