trans creature

i am strategically acquiring mutuals with specific and unique fetishes to form an elite task force to pull off heists with.

sir, that’s my emotional support imaginary world

They’re on Reddit saying texting “hi” is low iq and gives people the ick and that’s why they got ghosted. They don’t let u say hi no more….. we’re in a loneliness epidemic bc everybody is a weirdo about every little thing im cracking up

God I miss the days when you could show up to a stranger’s farm and he’d say “What’s your name, boy?” and you’d take off your hat and hold it to your chest to better let him see your face and reply “Why I ain’t got none, sir, on account of my mammy passed on before she could give me one” and he’d tell you he’s real damn sorry to hear that and ask what he can do you for and you’d tell him that you can’t read nor even write neither but you’re mighty good with horses and can mend them fallen fence posts what you saw on your way in and won’t ask for nothing much more than a hot meal and a warm barn to sleep in and he’d keep his wife and daughters inside but send his boy who ain’t got married yet even though his mama tells him he needs a woman out with a lantern and some stew at night and the two of you’d get to talkin and he’d throw you his flask to take a swig from and watch you drinkin from it while he leant against the door frame and when he finally got called back on up to the house again he’d take a sip from it too real slow-like like it weren’t the whiskey what he were tryna savour

you see you don’t get posts like this on twitter

every day at least once while on a walk i think to myself “it weren’t the whiskey what he were tryna savour” and sometimes if i am alone i say it out loud

me and my 6,000 stuffed animals are a package deal ok

The tarot cards said we should fuck.

how do I explain to people that I genuinely and with 100% sincerity think that the greatest love story in all of fiction is a 6.5 minute dnd podcast monologue about a character named barry bluejeans and his hot elf girlfriend playing music and holding hands