Peanut Butter

"It was a sound financial investment," Sirius said quickly.

Remus stood by the glass, holding his mug of tea and watching a team of goblins magically board up the bakery across the street. "Sirius, you hate real estate."

"People change."

"And I liked that bakery." Remus took a sip of tea. "The bloke who works there always gives me extra éclairs. Just yesterday, he was telling me I have nice eyes, and he asked if I wanted to get dinner—"

Sirius’s hand twitched, and the teacup he was holding shattered into a dozen pieces.

"Which is exactly why the place had to go!" Sirius snapped, vanishing the shards with a flick of his wand. "The man was giving you free éclairs. Do you know what that means?"

"That he was nice?"

"No, it means he wanted something."

Remus blinked. "I think he was just being polite, Sirius. He seemed very genuine."

Sirius made a noise that definitely wasn’t human. He marched over to the window, pressing his forehead against the glass as he glared down at the now-jobless baker standing bewildered on the pavement. "Polite? He touched your hand when he gave you your change on Tuesday! He lingered! For three entire seconds!"

"I think he was just trying not to drop the sickles," Remus reasoned, completely missing the jealousy radiating off his best friend. "Anyway, it’s a shame. Where am I going to get my bread now?"

"I will bake you bread," Sirius blurted out. "I will hire a team of personal, highly-trained French chefs to live in your kitchen. You will never need another carbohydrate from that idiot as long as you live."

Remus looked at him, deeply confused by this sudden passion for culinary independence. "Okay. If you insist. What are you putting in the building instead, then?"

"A warded facility for very dangerous carnivorous plants," Sirius growled, watching the baker walk away. "If he wants to give you another éclair, he can risk losing a limb for it."

Remus paused, his mug stopping halfway to his lips. "Wait."

Sirius froze.

"You weren't with me on Tuesday," Remus said slowly. "How did you know he touched my hand?"

Sirius turned slowly from the window, looking suddenly cornered.

Remus looked at the boarded-up bakery, then back at his friend. "Sirius... did you buy a building just to stop me from going on a date?"

Sirius swallowed hard, his gaze flicking away for a moment before returning to Remus.

He locked eyes with him.

deaf remus surprising his friends with his laugh

deaf remus unaware of how loud his howls are

deaf remus at his first gryffindor dorm party feeling the music through his bones

deaf remus resting his head on sirius’ chest to feel the vibrations of his heartbeat

Regulus black who is a language nerd and learned welsh because Remus spoke it.

Tim: Dick, no one else is even in the running. please be so fr right now

Damian: What are you arguing about?

Dick: Damian! Damian can do it! He’d be great at it.

Tim: No, Damian’s gonna follow his paternal grandfathers lead and be a doctor. Everyone only has to take on ONE element of Bruce. Try again

Jason: They are arguing about which one of us should be the newest representative for the Justice League for when Bruce finally conks it.

Damian: That would be an honor no? Richard you would be a competent ruler.

Cas: Leader

Damian: Whatever. I assume Timothy will be taking on WE in the event of father’s passing, so wouldn’t Jason also be in the running?

Tim: No i called dibs on Jason

Jason: What? What are you talking about. You can’t call dibs on me. What if I want to run the Justice League?

Tim: You don’t. You are going to run the Wayne foundation. Take from the rich give to the poor. Modern day Robin Hood—Very on brand for you. Don’t worry I have the contracts and everything ready.

Jason: …

Jason: Ok deal. Sorry Dickie, looks like your going to rule the interplanetary alliance :P

Dick: I don’t wanna!

Tim: What, do you wanna switch?

Dick: Well, no—

Tim: Also you’re the only one that makes sense.

Dick: I’ll do anything else, please that’s too much responsibility.

Tim: Okay. Be Batman.

Dick: …

Dick: Yea never mind. Running the Justice League won’t be that hard.

Damian: Wait so who will be Batman?

Cass: Dibs

Damian, Tim, Jason, Dick: Fair

What if, in a kingdom of knights and peasants and royalty, there lived a feared (but kind and generous) king? A king who has leveled battlefields, mended relations between allies, and whose kingdom is so prosperous that all commonfolk live comfortably. Many have sought to wed the king. Suitors from various other kingdoms travel to a grand palace to only be met with of what looks to be several royal adivsers and... a jester?

the king can’t help but ask for an encore, so grateful for fleeting distractions in the monotony of everyday life. it helps that the jester is ever so easy on the eyes

okay, everyone go home, this is for me and anon here

your mind is fucking perfect, i love this sappy corny shit. it's an odd pairing because jesters are all about performance, about dressing something up to look different than it is, but they crave genuineness. like a sneeze, a laugh is something that your body can't help but release. it's unwilling, unwanted for the most part, but it's pure reaction.