mosquito bites are itchy

tomorrow im developing my theory of tuesday

it's already tuesday

just as i theorized.

if i was in an alien movie i'd be luring the xenomorph into a hot wok and adding chili, garlic, ginger, shaoxin wine, scallions, white pepper and sesame oil

its loveslop. you only like me because youve formed an emotional bond over time.

the path to a fat ass and bountiful tits is paved in meals you should let me cook for you

salad is mostly items

(no beers in) So how do you perceive me in the privacy of your thoughts

hey. i heard what the devil on your shoulder just told you to do to me. pervert.

in the middle of crying for no reason i was interrupted by the sounds of one of my neighbors blasting "shadow the hedgehog pissed on my fucking wife" so loud it echoed around the courtyard outside

i shouldnt be allowed to text girls i am crushing on i start saying shit like "yes maam" and saluting

whenever i wear a bathrobe i always tie it loose enough that 90% of my tits are out. makes me feel like a sleazy milf. 10/10 would recommend