I write theoretically.

Smallvillers are Victorian children in that they'd explode if you showed them a spice rack and Gothamites are Victorian children in that they snort six lines before their 16-hour shift at the crime factory

Due to all of the chemicals in their air, water, and food, Gothamites are known for over flavoring their food. Also, their local Coke a cola plant still puts cocaine in their pop.

you're laughing. charles dickens had a son named plorn and you're laughing

Plorn

NICK I LOOKED IT UP AND SAW NOTHING OF THE SORT IS THIS A PRANK

technically his name was edward but everyone called him plorn

I have something worse

oh???

imagine getting stuck with the nickname Plorn

WHY WERE THEY SO CRUEL TO MY BOY PLORN

Born without a groove 😔

Woe mama :(

You were born of a sacrilegious union. Your green dragon mom never figured the knight she seduced while masquerading as a noblewoman was a silver dragon in disguise. You’d no idea either, born a human orphan. When your dragon blood awoke, so did the dangers which all your heritage entails.

#“i’m two halfs dragon” “that’s just being a whole dragon” “no”

“im two halves dragon” “thats just being a whole dragon” “YOUD FUCKING THINK SO WOULDNT YOU”

love the trope where an authoritative side character pointedly pretends not to help the hero they’re not supposed to be helping by saying shit like “well I can’t just let you wander around up to the THIRD FLOOR where you could just FIND THE THING YOU NEED in the FIRST ROOM ON THE LEFT. And under no circumstances should you USE THE KEY FROM UNDER THE MAT. I wish I could help you, but I CAN’T. Now excuse me, I need to take this phone call for the next 37 minutes EXACTLY.”

My doctor did that for me once. I had to get an expensive brain scan and she was like ‘do you smoke?’ and I was like ‘no’ and she was like “well that’s a pity because the government will pay for this expensive brain scan if you had been a smoker so - do you smoke?” 🤣🤣🤣 I was like ‘yes’ and she’s like ‘oh wow then this scan will be free’