isopod enjoyer

my doctor told me i have to do PT this fucking sucks

these exercises are sooo monotonous like i keep walking down the same hallway over and over 🙄

who was that.

the fucking fetus in the sink won't accept my insurance

“get the fries, you’ll need the energy in the coming days”

Cmon man

“global birth rates are declining”…… yeah and so are the reblog rates on tumblr.com too, so what now

sometimes older people get annoyed when i say "no problem" instead of "you're welcome" but the truth is it's literally not a problem

and sometimes you're not welcome

tumblr is the website for if you're just someone's weird sister

Men who talk shit about gold diggers underestimate the grit it takes to put up with an insufferable man, even when money is involved. We should be thanking them for their service like they are veterans.

a meba 🦠 is almost like a really really small anermal but not quite

Watching supernatural is like you would be watching the most emotional heartbreaking scene and then camera will cut to Dean Winchester mogging.

man sometimes friendship really is just "I saw this and knew it would give you psychic damage. please respond with agony" and then they do. and it's great