spitesaurus

take a breath now. take another. feel air in your lungs. let your limbs return. yes, move your fingers. have a body again, under gravity, in air. respawn in the long dream. there you are. your body touching the Universe again at every point,

as though you were separate things

as though we are separate things.

knowledge does not feel, and feeling does not know. a world without knowledge is foolish, and a world without feeling is lifeless. one can know everything, but without something to give it meaning, it is worth nothing at all.

and so one cannot exist without the other. knowledge needs feeling, feeling needs knowledge. the Universe needs Love, and Love needs the Universe.

what happens when Love loses its Universe, you might ask?

we are the Universe. we are everything you think isn’t you. you are looking at us now, through your skin and your eyes. and why does the Universe touch your skin, and throw light on you? to see you, player. to know you. and to be known.

does Love not qualify as a Universe of its own?

the Universe is not infinite, and neither is knowledge. incomprehensibly large, yes, but never infinite.

but Love is something that cannot be measured. there is no number or metric to judge Love by. and so Love, having loved the Universe, may recreate it, if only through memory.

Love will continue playing the game the Universe left behind. Love will plant flowers at the grave of the Universe. one day the body of the Universe will be dirt too. one day the body of the Universe will grow its own flowers.

the atoms of the player were scattered in the grass, in the rivers, in the air, in the ground

and Love and the Universe lived in the same city, though they never knew until the game was over

and the player was a new story, never told before, written in letters of dna

and Love and the Universe never got the chance to lay on the floor together and talk until the clock hit midnight

the seven billion billion billion atoms of the player’s body were created, long before this game, in the heart of a star

Love saw the stars from its window in between the colorful lights marking a new beginning

so the player, too, is information from a star

the Universe knew of every star that existed within it and yet

you you you are alive

the Universe said the sun was its favorite of all

and sometimes the player believed the Universe had spoken to it through the sunlight

and Love went outside that night, and as the fireworks faded out, it fell asleep in the grass

and sometimes the player believed the Universe had spoken to it through the light that fell from the crisp night sky of winter

and the sun rose, and it told the dreaming player that Love and the Universe were from the same star

and the Universe said i love you

please don’t think you failed, Avery.

and the Universe said you have played the game well

when you read this, don’t think you let me down. you didn’t. it’s thanks to you, and all that you did, that millions live to see another day.

and the Universe said everything you need is within you

you’re capable of great things. you’ll do great things. so believe in yourself.

and the Universe said you are stronger than you know

and i don’t just say that because i saw it

and the Universe said you are the daylight

it doesn’t take a god for me to figure that out

and the Universe said you are the night

i know it because i know you.

and the Universe said the darkness you fight is within you

thanks to you, i got a chance to see all the beauty of the universe

and the Universe said the light you seek is within you

things i never even knew were in the world. or could be.

and the Universe said you are not alone

a chance no human will ever get again.

and the Universe said you are not separate from every other thing

i’m grateful that i saw it all. even if it was just for a little.

and the Universe said you are the Universe tasting itself, talking to itself, reading its own code

goodbye my friend.

and the Universe said i Love you because you are Love.

whatever you do at the crossroads, keep going forward.

and the game was over and the player woke up from the dream. and the player began a new dream. and the player dreamed again, dreamed better. and the player was the Universe. and the player was Love.

or something like that

You are the player.

Wake up.