off to the sideblog you go

Trump: "We've been taking out many ships that nobody knew. Not even the fake news knew it. Quietly at night. We bombed their radar and everything so they couldn't see. We took out night some nights 25 ships, some nights 15, the last four or five we did 25, 22, 21, 26, 18, and 14. Who else would remember those numbers? Nobody."

Trump says the Iran deal signing ceremony will happen this weekend in Europe but "I won't be able to be there" (the UFC fight at the White House is Sunday)

Trump again tells his delusional story about how Steve Hilton was "approved" to advance in the California election only because California officials were feeling "heat" after he started yelling about the "rigged election"

Trump says that before he came around, "you had go to Japan to get a Maine lobster"

Trump claims that electric batteries are bad for fishermen because they cause their boats to sink

TRUMP: Where are you from?

SOME GUY: Portland, Oregon

TRUMP: Liberal! Probably more people than you think are Republicans if we could count the votes properly

“So a scallop will die of old age? How do they taste when they're dead?”

Burgum: "You could launch on attack on the US in the northeast with a bunch of autonomous drones coming through a wind tower field"

Trump: "We won this war militarily very early on. The only thing we didn't win is the fake news."

“The strait is open. But the straits have been open for a number of months already and you just didn't know about it.”

“Transgender mutilization, where your child leaves your house and they take you child from you. In six states. They take the child and do what they want to do. What they do is, I don't even want to talk about it.”

"The whole voting system is corrupt in Minnesota. I won Minnesota three times, easily. I won almost every county but they didn't give it to me. It's a corrupt system."

1. Have fun and be yourself

2. Pointing loaded guns at your friends is always funny

Boris "professional idiot" Johnson wanted to build an island airport in the immediate area.

it's fucking visible

You weren't kidding they've been trying to get the masts off for 5 years and keep getting foiled because there's probably bombs leaking out of her

One day a scientist hands you a poptart and says "eat this". You say "is it full of some kind of fucked up interdimensional poison". The scientist says "eat it or that security guard will tase you and tie you down and make you eat it". You eat the poptart. It is not full of fucked up interdimensional poison, but it is kind of stale. You describe the taste to the scientist and he shrugs and writes something down and you go back to your shitty cell.

Experiment Log 426-1. Date: [censored] Subject: D-class personnel D/426/1 Procedure: D/426/1 was asked to describe what he believed was contained in my chamber. He was not informed about my identity or properties. Details: D/426/1 stated, "I'm probably some huge monster holed up in there. That's what you guys have all over the place, right?" D/426/1 remained oblivious to his use of the first-person pronoun.

Two boys practicing their swordplay, Harlem, 1939–1940.