hate seeing white people enjoying themselves, v cringe

if i look back, i am lost


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@spilledmoonbeams
hate seeing white people enjoying themselves, v cringe

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okay everybody go home this is the best one
I AM ABSOLUTELY LOSING MY MIND AFTER READING THIS PLEASE READ IT

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Elibeidy Dani Martinez at Pyer Moss SS 20
tmrw is 1 and a monday....im getting my life together #girl
btw i didn't #girlloss
therapist: so what are some alternatives to harming yourself?
me: killing myself
therapist: no-
Fun fact: When barcodes are scanned they measure the white spaces not the black lines
your hand touching mine. this is how galaxies collide. ― Sanober Khan
― Carolyn Forché / Katatsumori (Naomi Kawase, 1994) / John Berger / Katrien de Blauwer / Hélène Cixous / Bruno Munari / Eli Craven / Sharon Olds / Hart Crane / A Hidden Life (Terrence Malick, 2019) / Mary Ruefle / Robert Bly / Hans Bellmer / Richard Siken / Eli Craven / Cassandra Clare / Katrien de Blauwer / Louise Glück ―

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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51.371554, -1.779949
56.679857,12.813339
51.60781,-2.386094
41.304533, -81.901683
50.835601, 4.424613
37.621621, -122.407994
Enough of "this character is my son" this character is my nephew, not my responsibility but I'm taking him out for lunch and buying him hot wheels
I’m reading this book and the main character was like describing her nemesis or whatever and she’s like “he’s a white cishet man” in his list of negative attributes and I understand it’s supposed to be a quippy lil thing and all but the irony is that the main character herself is white and cishet, as is her love interest. So what did we gain here? A few woke points? Like I don’t really understand it tbh woke white folk creating distance between them and other white folk simply doesn’t do it for me the irony is a bit strong
lol and to think I’d hide how shit I’m doing bc I thought youd be tired of me always just doing shit, but now I see lol. I can’t just take a break from self deprecation and seem like,,,,,happy with an aspect of myself without you tryna put me in my place, one upping me with how pErFeCt you are,,,,
Wondering why pple still R my friends despite me just disappearing for months on end or just being A Mess and having no good qualities whatsoever
lollll now i realise that all my friends stick with me because they Love To See It
4.6.20

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my friends haven't said anything.
pple who are barely acquaintances have spoken more to me abt/ posted more about it. not even more...they HAVE posted.
but the people...who i hung out with have said nothing. its not about the relationship or the friendship.
its about feeling like a traitor. I was friends with people who don't fw my people?
and i was always on the defense. conversations in my head defending that my friends do not reflect my own internalised anti-blackness. I'm not some wayward girl who's half a step a way from bleaching and breakdown, traumatized by disgust at my skincell.
no.
but now? i was wrong...
and thats a slippery slope bc if i was wrong bout that then i cant trust myself
im not strong
if i wrote an autobiography it would be called Where have all my memories gone?
i have a headache
my skull is squeezing the spongy matter that calls itself a brain trying to eke out a memory, a hint, a clue.