A Bagel (NOOOO!) two bagels

Justice for Quincey Morris, the Texan who shot bat-Dracula with a gun, the idealized Teddy Roosevelt, the first person to say the word “vampire” out loud (like immediately after arriving at Seward’s too), whose death marked the literal closing of the narrative, whom the Harkers named their son after, and who keeps getting cut from Dracula adaptations

For those of you still figuring it out: THIS ISN’T A SCREENSHOT, ITS A FUCKING PAINTING.

HOLY SHIT

listen to me. this is my final message to you. when you are at your lowest a fictional guy will come to you and when that happens you must start putting them in situations. this is the meaning of life.

Will never not be depressingly funny to enter new spaces and have people be all fun and friendly w you only to immediately lose their shit the second they find out ur a Jew. They ong start acting like you have the plague just because you said "I don't want my people to be mass-murdered again," and they're genuinely convinced the whole time that they're a saint for hating you.

"I asked ChatGPT" "I asked Grok" "I asked Gemini" Ok, well I asked Professor Abraham Van Helsing(M.D., D.PH., DLITT., ETC., Etc.,), and he gave me an hour and a half long speech that was so full of metaphors that I don't even know what he was trying to say.

You know, as much as I'm a fan of horror and time loops, the absolute funniest interpretation I've seen of Dracula Daily is the one that goes that Jonathan Harker is fine and healthy and happy, he's just telling this story to his grandkids. Again. Because they love hearing the Vampire Story.

@hotvintagepoll

and if you DON'T want to study me like a bug, what the fuck why not????? you SHOULD! what you think you're better than me or something??