text: Dante
Dante: Trying hard not to.
Spencer: I am keeping the dog though.
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@spencexporter
text: Dante
Dante: Trying hard not to.
Spencer: I am keeping the dog though.

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text: Dante
Dante: I am. I'm really happy with her.
Spencer: Then you better not fuck it up, kid.
text: Dante
Dante: Sounds reasonable. But we're not gonna break up
Spencer: Good, I hope not. You seem... really happy with her.
text: Dante
Dante: Well, duh.
Spencer: Well, Duh.
Spencer: So if you guys ever break up, we're keeping Petra.
text: Dante
Dante: Why??
Spencer: As a thank you for watching the dog. Turns out you are dating someone who is 100 percent more thoughtful than you

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text: Dante
Dante: It was sorta weird, but fun.
Dante: You and dad miss me yet?
Spencer: Of course I do, but word is I'm coming to your place soon.
text: Dante
Dante: Yes sir. Condoms were used. Consent was present. And we were all very aware of the situation.
Spence: Then... congrats? I guess?
text: Dante
Dante: Oh it's fine. I knew what I was doing just fine.
Spencer: And you were safe?
text: Dante
Dante: As in, everyone who was there - I have now seen very naked.
Spencer: I... am actually at a loss for how to respond to this. Pretty sure I skipped over this part in the sex talk.
text: Dante
Dante: I did, probably a little too much fun. Don't worry, I used condoms, but like one night we kinda all hooked up
Spencer: We all as in?

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text: Dante
Dante: Fair enough.
Spencer: Did you have fun?
text: Dante
Dante: I mean, she could be sorta. You haven't seen her finger. For all you know the trip to Hawaii was my eloping.
Spencer: I know you well enough to know it wasn't.
text: Dante
Dante: Petra said she texted you guys
Spencer: Petra isn't my kid.
text: Dante
Spencer: So, interesting, went a whole week without getting that 'we landed in hawaii alive' text.
text message - spencer
Alistair: Really?
Alistair: I love you too.
Alistair: Though you really should have pictures of our children.
Spencer: Yes really.
Spencer: I have pictures of them, loads of pictures, they're just not the lock screen

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text message - spencer
Alistair: I suppose I just don't feel attractive to you anymore, Spence.
Spencer: Yeah? Alistair, you're my phones lock screen. Not the kids, not a picture of a beer or my bar. It's you, Because then, even when you're working and I'm working and I feel like we haven't gotten to sit down and talk to each other in forever, I can see your stupid face.
Spencer: Because I love you, and your face and I sure as hell love your body.
@livaga: I'll have to confer with Dante and Petra and get back to you on that one.
@spenceporter: As long as I get the dog they're free to stay.