WON'T STOP, JUST GO!

truly the funniest thing about that ffxiv verse is sonic being a substitute WoL. i love the idea of sonic interacting with actual ffxiv characters and him explaining that, yeah no he's not Actually the warrior of light. he's barely even supposed to be here. louisoix just saw that the world was gonna be super fucked forever if he didn't grab someone to fix it and sonic just drew the shortest end of the stick.

This post is for virtually no one. This is the post where I yammer on about the theoretical FFXIV verse I'd make for Sonic if I actually wrote verses. Which I barely do! This is @fortruechaos 's fault, not mine. Remember that! Oh, and general FFXIV spoilers down below, but mainly for Shadowbringers and Stormblood. Like any of my followers are actually playing this game.

     I have to make a side-post to this ask answer because I just realized how much Sonic hates Erazor Djinn.

     Like, Eggman? All the fucked up shit he's done? Sonic still would love to see a world where Eggman realizes the errors of his ways and uses his genius for good instead of ill. He doesn't wanna kill Eggman. He doesn't wanna kill anyone!

     Infinite? Horrible, terrible, no good, very bad individual who was set on a path due to his horrid insecurities and overwhelming pursuit for power. But, yup! He'd still like to see and help Infinite should the chance ever arise.

     The Zeti? They are literally demons. It is in their nature to be awful world-conquering monsters. But if there was some way for them to see that this wasn't the only way to live life, he'd be glad to befriend each and every single one of them.

     Man, but when it comes to Erazor Djinn? That shit is on sight, that bitch is BLOCKED from redemption. And I think it stems from the way he speaks to Shahra. It gives 'controlling boyfriend who sees his partner as an item that shall do whatever he pleases, lest there be due punishment.' Despite Erazor Djinn's honeyed words toward Shahra, he does not see her as a person, and... nope! That's a step way too far for Sonic! That bastard will get no sympathy from him.

Q&A || Prompt

     Oh, what a question... To look upon the future with desire isn't quite Sonic-like, but the answer isn't as simple as saying 'world peace'. Frankly, if he had his most selfish desires, he wouldn't want much to change from how it is now.

     A life full of danger and experience. Threats to overcome, limits to break, and a world of mysteries to unendingly explore! He's a thrill-seeker through and through; world peace would just be too boring for him. There has to be something to chase— or something chasing him. Something to challenge him. It can't be too stagnant, even though he ultimately fights for peace. There's just... there's genuinely no one answer to this question for Sonic. He desires excitement, fun, yet the safety and sanctity of his friends and the planet at large. For everything to be one-hundred percent unassailable, he'd sooner leave to find his next great tale to tell.

     To state a future in which it is locked to one single concept is unendingly dull for him. He wants it to be ever-changing, ebbing and flowing between quiet times and pure pandemonium. He wants the good and the bad, the highs and the lows. He craves a future of activity, of... adventure! After all, what you see is what you get!

Friendly Competition || Unprompted

     —He's not laughing at you, he promises. Though from a brilliant grin does a small, nasally chuckle fall forward. It's the simple act of unprompted doubling down from the other hedgehog that makes bluer hues snicker. It sounded like it came from a place of insecurity— like you had to prove to the fastest thing alive that you can, indeed, keep pace. "Don't need 'ta tell me twice, I can see 'yer gettin' better." Limbs stretch, arms cross, pull, and pop; body stretches to keep muscles loose and primed.

     It is worth noting that the true blue speedster makes for a wonderful cardio trainer. The hedgehog didn't know when to quit! If you were looking to lower your personal best on a jog, look no further than Sonic the Hedgehog! It's a small slap to the back that's administered to the time traveler, off-hand giving a thumbs up all the while. "Can't say I really get what goes into makin' you fly faster, but whatever you're doin', it's workin'!" Stretch, stretch...

Q&A || Prompt

     Hm! That's actually kind of a hard one. Sonic is, far and away, not a superstitious guy, nor does he own something as rigid as a ritual that he'd do reliably due to believing one thing will happen if he doesn't. The thing that comes to my mind is, he believes in simple comeuppance! What goes around, comes back around again. Though, I struggle to categorize this in the same vein as superstitions or rituals... Alas, it's the best I've got for the guy.

     It's a belief that relies not on supernatural superstition, but on the sentiment that if people are acted upon, they are likely to do something in response. It's just a matter of what you put in the world. It's a belief in people! Kindness begets kindness, and he believes this with the very core of his being. On the flipside, harming others will only increase the likelihood that they will seek out some form of revenge, or even harm those uninvolved with their initial plight.

     If you're rude, mean, or do something harmful, you're putting that into the world, and it's going to loop back to you in some way, shape, or form. Perhaps not directly, but the earth will find a way to make you feel it. And if you're kind, compassion is more likely to find you as those you've assisted seek to do the same for you!

     "Tsk, tsk, tsk..." Oh, the stink on that grin could down a cow. It brought about a simper— the beginnings of laughter— the wordless insinuation that something funny had been said. Below the nose will a gloved index finger stroke, ruby-red sneakers striding forward with that cool, confident, and nonchalant gait. "C'mon, pal! You sayin' it out loud ain't makin' it any truer. You can wear it all 'ya like, but I wouldn't exactly call this 'pulling it off'."

     Blink. One second passes. The hedgehog, he... he vanishes. "The fact you gotta say it at all just shows it ain't right!" —Ah. Behind the other. Wind whips and jostles. It berates at his beck and call. Faster than the speed of sound, right. His strides don't miss a beat. "I could show you how it's done, but... this isn't really something you can teach. And even if it was, well... I ain't a fan of it, but I guess the word 'hopeless' is what fits best?"

     Blink. Two seconds pass. He fusses with a pointed ear before arms rest behind the head, walking in from the side this time. "You've got somethin' going on, sure, but I'm in a whole different class!" Faster. Faster! "I mean, come on! I'm Sonic the Hedgehog! The competition just doesn't measure up!" Faster, yet faster still! It's a blue-wind tornado around the imposter at his front. You think this is the first time he's had to deal with someone jacking his style? Talk about being full of yourself!

     Around the other will the hedgehog blaze, the world at large falling away to nothing but obfuscation of smeared blue and a surround-sound voice that nigh resounded from the earth itself.

     "They must've changed the definition since last I looked!"      "Wore it better? You're barely wearin' it at all!"      "All those eyes and 'ya can't see when your style's out the window!"      "Thinkin' yourself funny? Yeah, you sure look the part!"

     ...Hold. The cyclone, it dissipates. The wind and all its howling, it becomes nothing more than a tepid breeze. Some loose stones thud to the ground like heavy rain, leaves spinning, twigs tumbling. And from it all, a voice rings upward, body resting in the lengths of a wooden branch.

i remember when i first started on tumblr and i felt so bad about writing so much. i had a hard limit of, like. five, six paragraphs at most, and no more than three icons to a post. i didn't wanna do too much, it felt too extra and i didn't wanna feel like a bother.

     "Aw, come on! You're gonna put me in the pokey without so much as a harmonica 'ta play? This is cruel and unusual punishment!"

     "If I had a nickel for every time I was stuffed in a cell for not doin' absolutely nothin', I'd have two real crummy ol' nickels!"

     A crowd of rustling footsteps shambles off and out of sight. The jingling of keys tickles the twitching ear, all before a decrepit door's groan. Dim light scattered across the floor for the fraction it's open, all before a window-shuddering slam upon its closing. Nothing is left, save a shoddy, half-flickering lightbulb swaying and bouncing from the thunderous reverberation.

     ...      ...

     "Well, this stinks." And he was technically wrong about the 'two nickels' thing. He had damaged G.U.N. property by the time they stuffed him in a cell on Prison Island, but they only did so because those dolts love jumping to conclusions. So... it wasn't technically nothing, even if they were wrong in the end.

   ...

     —Oh, a head lolls on its neck as arms slump to his sides. Jails were the worst. Under any better circumstances, he could bust right out of here! But... no space to gain momentum. The speedster did his best work when he could gain... well, speed. Though he's not out. Let's try a... super peel-out to homing attack combo! Cerulean form lurches back, gaining all the 'distance' he can. It's a hearty seven feet, but something is better than nothing. Dust plumes from revving— a steam engine ready to leave the station. A plane on the runway, a car that's just turned on the ignition!

     "Ready...!         "GO!"

     Wind cracks like thunder! Air flows like water, a surge of freedom embodied! He's an acceleration machine... AN UNSTOPPABLE FORCE! He'd punch through these bars like a hot knife through butter! Tuck and roll, hedgehog! It's time to bust outta—

     "ACK—!" ...Or not. It's a rather sorrowful attempt, the slight scuff it makes in thick steel bars. Despite the shoddy atmosphere, they didn't seem to skimp on the quality of their holding cell's make and model. A fact made quite clear to a certain blue hedgehog and the dull pain his head now pulsed with. "Tch—! I'm not givin' up that easy!" Again. Again! Raucous thuds roared, bass hits punching eardrums, rattling the stones, a quilled cannon releasing volley after volley of himself against that which keeps him rooted.

     ...Yet, his station refused to change. By the twenty-fifth thud or so, a body simply stops to tap its foot. What gives?! That usually works... Okay, okay. He knew when something wasn't working. New idea. If lone strength won't get it done, he'll at least check his options. The hedgehog, he drops to his chest, body positioned like a donkey ready to kick at the door. "Couldn't begin t'tell 'ya where I am, but hopefully there's someone out there..."

     SLA-SLA-SLAM! ... SLAM! SLAM! SLAM! ... SLA-SLA-SLAM!      ...A pause.      SLA-SLA-SLAM! ... SLAM! SLAM! SLAM! ... SLA-SLA-SLAM!

     Perhaps it was an odd way to convey it, but anyone with even a little bit of knowledge could interpret his brutish hammerings as morse code. A simple signal for help. S.O.S., to be precise. Three short, three long, three short. Legs could kick a football to space, so they should hopefully be enough to reverberate a message deep throughout wherever he resides. Should he only be lucky enough for someone handy to hear it.

     A radar's steady call makes itself known off reverberating walls. Footsteps, too, walk earthen lengths, slow and steady as emerald eyes take in the sights. ...Or, well. What sights there are to take in, at least. Dark and craggy is the environment, stagnant and musty is the air that resides. Far within a cavernous maw shall the hedgehog now delve, all in search for another one of those mystical miracle gems. A straightforward tunnel. No loops, no corkscrews, no nothin'.

     "Hope your end has been more eventful than mine, I've got nothin' but stones and rocks... And not even the one we're lookin' for!" Lone strides walk, yet the voice chimes to someone unseen. So, too, does a separate individual respond. 《 "That's a good thing, Sonic. We're just collecting the Chaos Emeralds for an emergency's sake. If it's as simple as walking around, picking them up, and taking them home, then we'll take that easy win!" 》

Ping...! Ping...! Ping...! Ping...!

     "...If'n 'ya say so, Tails. The frantic sprint for'em right when they're needed is half the fun! Bu—ut this is certainly more practical. For whatever that's worth." A languid sigh into his end of the transceiver, all to a young-sounding small chuckle in response from the other side. 《 "Sorry, Sonic. Maybe you'll get your death-defying cave spelunking some othe— SHZZZZ—" 》

     ...Static. Interference. A knuckle absent-mindedly knocks on a fuzzy screen. "Uh, little buddy? Think you're breakin' up there, pal. Does that mean I'm missin' some action over there, or...?" Filmy image reverts to a clean screen after a moment to straighten itself out. The yellow fox's face returns, all while looking none the worse for wear. 《 "Nah, I think you're just getting deeper into that cave. Signa— BZZZZT —pretty weak. Call might drop in a few." 》

     An exaggerated, theatric, and overblown groan. "Augh! You're tellin' me I'm gonna be walkin' through this damp ol' cave without you t'talk to? But our little podcast was the last thing keepin' me goin'! At this rate, the only threat that's gonna kill me down here is the boredom! That's it— we're stormin' an Eggman base the second I get outta here, no ifs, ands, or buts about it! I'll need it t'shock myself back t'health!"

     He hears his brother laugh once more, though choppy and interrupted. Yet even still, it shines a brilliant smile across the hedgehog's face.

     《 "Heh-heh! Oh, alright! What— BZZZT —say, you big blue baby. Good lu— FZZZZT —onic! Make su— SHZZZZZT —are of yourself!" 》

     ...Static. Unending static. The kit's face falls to nothing but shuddering gray lines. A tongue clicks against teeth as the wrist communicator is powered down with a flick of a switch. Thumb and index yank a glove's white cuff, pulling it down and over the small yellow gadget. "Catch 'ya on the flip-side, little buddy." Emerald eyes, they glance up from the darkened screen, only as sights stick to their view of... water? Oh no... Don't tell him...

     Shoulders sink at the sight of a flooded cavern residing in a deep well below. Far below. Darkness disallows the grand use of eyesight. The murky cave waters below weren't helping matters much, either. Water meant reduced movement! Water meant a detrimental lack of air. Criminy... As if things weren't fun enough.

     "...Ugh. This is gonna be super lame."

PING! PING! PING! PING! PING! PING!

     "Yeah, yeah, I get it, I know! Emerald's down there, y'don't have 'ta shout." Dark and alone in a cramped, waterlogged cave. Sheesh. He's seen Eggman lairs with more of a welcome mat. At least he knew there'd be sawblades or flamethrowers with those. But! There's no time like the present. Crying about it only made it take longer.

     Shoulders roll, neck pops, joints flex, and lungs fill themselves deep with air. With a loud splash that echoes for miles, the quickster vanishes from the surface, sinking like a stone into the inky-black depths. The sooner he got this over with, the sooner he could do something fun...