gender is fake! all dichotomies are artificially imposed! you can be cis and perisex and still experiment with your gender presentation! what does being a perisex cisman or ciswoman mean to you?

life is difficult and exhausting! even if you’re abled, there is literally no reason to make things harder for yourself when there’s an easier way. why do cashiers have to stand on their goddam feet all day when they could be sitting down? why is avoiding unnecessary suffering considered something that should be reserved for disabled people?

the idea that you should be forced into doing stuff that’s stupid and artificially imposed on you like gender norms or unnecessary physical exertion because that’s Respectable and Moral is a mentality that has been normalized specifically to oppress the working class, and it weaponizes the threat of being included in the “othered” groups to keep people in line.

“why are you complaining about unlivable wages? what do want, handouts? what are you, disabled? can’t you provide for yourself and your family?”

“why are you not performing gender norms correctly? what are you, gay?”

we’re all human. we all have complex needs. sometimes our needs are going to differ, and sometimes they’re going to overlap--even with people who have different experiences than us. that’s not a bad thing!

i remember seeing a post (i think reposted from reddit?) of a cis man talking about how much knowing trans men has made him more confident in and proud of his masculinity because they taught him that it isn’t defined by other people: it’s his own.

and abled people could really learn something from the disabled wisdom that there is no moral value in hurting yourself to attain someone else’s expectations of “success.”

Loren Erdrich (@okloren)

Sleep

Like… if you open a coffee shop and run it for a while and it makes you happy but then stuff gets too expensive and stressful and you want to do something else so you close it, it’s a “failed” business. If you write a book or two, then decide that you don’t actually want to keep doing that, you’re a “failed” writer. If you marry someone, and that marriage is good for a while, and then stops working and you get divorced, it’s a “failed” marriage.

The only acceptable “win condition” is “you keep doing that thing forever”. A friendship that lasts for a few years but then its time is done and you move on is considered less valuable or not a “real” friendship. A hobby that you do for a while and then are done with is a “phase” - or, alternatively, a “pity” that you don’t do that thing any more. A fandom is “dying” because people have had a lot of fun with it but are now moving on to other things.